Dust Off Your Brangelina Shrine....
The golden chosen twins are coming this Tuesday! Shit, instead of dusting off your Brangelina shrine, you should clean out your bomb shelter. I'm sure the presence of the twin messiahs will knock out electrical, gas and water lines. You better stock up on bottled water for your Kool-Aid.
According to InTouch (via DM), Angie Jo has scheduled her c-section for this Tuesday. A source said that when Angie first arrived at the hospital in Nice, France, she all nice and shit, but now she's turning into a real cunt. The source said, "She's starting to feel that the staff are starstruck and not attentive enough. She's throwing fits if she rings and they don't come quick enough."
Angie has also demanded the hospital serve her royal ass salmon even though it's not on the hospital menu. "I think she's in meltdown mode. She's been getting upset if there's not enough ice in her glass," said the source.
Those nurses better watch it. It only takes one phone call from Saint Angelina for them to spend the rest of eternity in hell. Seriously, I think God and Buddha are both in her T-Mobile Fave 5.
In other chosen ones news, a radio station in Canada is offering Brangelina $1 million cash if they name their messiahs Mauler and Rush. Mauler and Rush are the name of two DJs on HOT 89-9 in Ottawa, Canada. Actually, those are fucking perfect names, but this shit is never going to happen. Saint Angelina queefs out $1 million in cash. That ain't nothing to her.
Thanks Mari & Cam
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Submitted by KidL on July 9, 2008 - 3:28pm.
Makes sense - thanks! I learn new things from Dlisted every single day.
"the crotch fruit"?
Holy crap. I have to start using that expression.
Sorry I will read through comments in a minute.
But
OMFG WHAT A FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!
Those nurses aren't star struck by her they are HORRIFIED BY HER!
What a fucking fuck fuck twat!
"Oh they are in awe of me, GET ME MY FISH!!!! FISHSTICKS!!!!! GET THE GOTTDAMN GORDON'S FISHERMAN STAT YOU BITCHES! I NEED FIIIIIISSSSH! You see, I'm an artist, I am worthy."
To all her looser worshipers, FUCK THE FUCK OFF!!!
Poor Brad, he's done already, watch...
This annoys me TO NO END!
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by thlayly5 on July 9, 2008 - 6:32pm.
Two treats (umm.. loons) from JJ:
I went a-visiting...
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Ugh, that's just sick. I propose that we all log onto JJ on Tuesday and jam the site. With over 22,000 D-listers going to visit and leaving the window open all day, I bet we can do it. And to be fair and loyal to MK, make sure to click on an ad here. It's a beautiful thing to piss off a loonie.
"I don`t see any evidence of it because people in recovery invest themselves in simple, selfless acts of service, not global, self-serving acts."-Dr. Drew on AJ
Submitted by KnowItAll on July 9, 2008 - 5:30pm.
Brad is working with KIEHL'S to make a new bio-degradable body cleanser later this year. 100% of the proceeds go to Katrina victims. Loves it!
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I luv this man. I'll be washing myself, thinking of him.
Bradly and Angelina are showing overpaid celebs how to enjoy and value their success by reaching out to the world.
Submitted by Green Is Good on July 9, 2008 - 3:57pm.
Question: How many C-Sections can a woman have??
St. Brangie already had one. What do Docs do, use the same spot to pull the crotch fruit out?
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Yes, I believe so. But I would not know from personal experience. And I have no clue how large/long the scar is. Anyone?
lol, Tonic. Could you please put a call into Buddha and ask him to reincarnate this whole gaggle of tards? Thx!
Question: How many C-Sections can a woman have??
St. Brangie already had one. What do Docs do, use the same spot to pull the crotch fruit out?
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WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
he's such a wonderful actor. I think if I were on a plane with him, I would have to use my one and only get out of marriage free card.
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Angelina Jolie is a big fucking cunt? say it ain't so. It doesn't matter how many blobs she's popping out of her C-Section, that is no excuse to act like a mega bitch. Give the hospital staff some respect or doctor will make sure he accidentally leaves a big-assed scar... or maybe add something funny to her nice glass of water with ice cubes.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Holy multiple posts, Batman!
♥ ThreadKilla! Madge's new Vadge and Hot Pregnant Dude 2.0
Lean Like a Chola
DiamondDawg, I guess I need to brush up on my Bible School lessons a little. Anyway I've already consulted with MY god, Buddha, and he's assured me that everything is chill. Apparently the antichrist was already born and currently residing in Telluride, Colorado under the watchful eye of a bland brunette and a gay midget.
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Save a life. http://www.dogsindanger.com
IDML!
Ralph's Amon Goeth was BRILLIANT!
I have to watch that now!
Have you seen "Spider"???
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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.
hell fucking yeah I'd be a gigantic bitch...waiting to give birth to NOT one, but two frickin blobs.
I hope the best for her and Bradly. She better watch out though, cause I'll take her man.
Submitted by vajeon on July 9, 2008 - 3:44pm.
It has to do with a lot of things. First of all, if the childbirth/pregnancy isn't progressing the way the doctor thinks it should, he/she may schedule a c-section for the patient. Many doctors feel that it's easier and quicker to perform. Also, scheduled childbirths are more popular among celebrities and regular people. I guess nobody wants to be surprised anymore.
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No. It has to do with the "hot dog down the hallway." Trust.
Tonic, dontcha hear the thunderous gallopping of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalpyse across the sky? The first seal is about to be broken with the birth of these twins. In case you forgot your Bible lessons, the seals represent death, famine, world wars, martyrdom, earthquakes, and the Antichrist.
At least that's what Wiki says. I think pestilence is supposed to be in there, too.
Submitted by pompom on July 9, 2008 - 6:02pm.
I don't get it. Do people need these c-sections for medical reasons? Why are there so many? If a person (not AJ in particular) is going to take fertility treatments / have multiple kids / be all earth-mother about things / breast feed multiple kids etc., would they not choose to have a natural childbirth?
I would hypothetically get a c-section because I am not maternal and I am grossed out by anything to do with childbirth - but why do people that are really into this stuff not go the natural route? I hear about so many c-sections among acquaintances etc...
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It has to do with a lot of things. First of all, if the childbirth/pregnancy isn't progressing the way the doctor thinks it should, he/she may schedule a c-section for the patient. Many doctors feel that it's easier and quicker to perform. Also, scheduled childbirths are more popular among celebrities and regular people. I guess nobody wants to be surprised anymore.
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I posed for raunchier pictures when I was in kindergarten. Really, I did -Michael K.
ok. i'm a little surprised some wimmins don't know this already.....
C-sections are for gals who don't want their woo all stretched out. You know....they're trying to avoid the "hot dog down a hallway" effect when they get back to sectsy times with their pardners.
got it?
*Checks the Book of Revelation to see if next Tuesday "coincidentally" matches the coming of the anti-christ*
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Save a life. http://www.dogsindanger.com
If I had to be in a hosital for two weeks waiting to give birth, I would be a complete bitch, too. Just had to be honest.
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I posed for raunchier pictures when I was in kindergarten. Really, I did -Michael K.
BONG shelter, MK. BONG shelter.
Meh. These two asshats bore the fuck outta me.
You know you are hot when you can make a hair-lipped serial killer and a fucking Nazi sexy as hell.
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Two treats (umm.. loons) from JJ:
I went a-visiting...
bradnangiefan123456 @ 07/09/2008 at 4:25 pm
I’m getting excited! It has to be soon now. Don’t all of her kids seem EXHAUSTED though! Shiloh always has the face my 14 month old gets when she’s ready for a NAP! I wonder if the hospital stuff is totally disrupting their routines–seems they are either sleeping or look sleepy–although Brad looks tired too! I think everyone will be so relieved when the babies are born and they can get back to their sanctuary to have some peace & normalcy!
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# 18 lori @ 07/09/2008 at 4:25 pm
It is crazy that this family can’t even breathe without a camera snapping in their faces!! I am glad that precautions were taken to ensure their privacy, but I still find it disturbing that the other patients privacy is being invaded while they are also patients. After all, those fake pics were of some other patient. They deserve the same level of respect as Angelina. I wish the hospital would take the precautions for everyone else as well. Nothing worse than being in a late stage of pregnancy and having flashes of cameras buzzing the room. So unfortunate that even their most private moments are exploited by people. I hope they hide away with the babies and other children after the birth and can enjoy that alone time without the need to satisfy the press with pictures, interviews, press conferences. Poor woman can’t even give birth in peace!!
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
LOL @ idiots drive me loco for "A2K" and for stuttering.
So none of you guys read the Vanity Fair article with most pretentious angiejo? The author said "blabity blabity blabity blah.....and she's not perfect - very not perfect" regarding her personal appearance. I paraphrased that. I'll get you the real quote laterz when i'm at home where the mag is at. My cat's been using the cover as a scratching pad.
Point Sock Monkey.
Zoomay, very interesting and easy to believe. What is the herion problem like in France?
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
Submitted by pompom on July 9, 2008 - 6:02pm.
I don't get it. Do people need these c-sections for medical reasons? Why are there so many? If a person (not AJ in particular) is going to take fertility treatments / have multiple kids / be all earth-mother about things / breast feed multiple kids etc., would they not choose to have a natural childbirth?
I would hypothetically get a c-section because I am not maternal and I am grossed out by anything to do with childbirth - but why do people that are really into this stuff not go the natural route? I hear about so many c-sections among acquaintances etc...
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It's been rumored that a lot of stars in Hollywood have herpes. Would explain all these C-sections. Also, some are just too posh to push.
IDML,
Oh! Yeah, you and Bradi better watch out to!! Watch for anyone with a lisp, an eye tick or a cheek twitch.
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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.
Thanks for the heads up, Michael K. Now I know to avoid all media sources on Tuesday. (Given what attention whores these two are, I am really surprised Brangelina didn't sign a deal with CNN to broadcast the birth live.)
Submitted by zomay on July 9, 2008 - 2:29pm.
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I read this too somewhere. But everytime I bring up random studies, people like to get on me about how dumb they are. Anyways I really believe science and Doctors don't really know the full ramifications of alot of the shit they are doing these days.
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Ya. Like vaccinations giving them autism! Its the TRUF! Ask Jenny McCarthy. (Really, I think there's something to that.)
LOL IT was not too fond of me and Bradful either.....
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Here is a post I found on another blog. A little long but interesting.
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Hate to break this to you, but I lived out in LA for a long time and knew a lot of people....no I won't name who I knew...I can tell you this, it's long been rumored inside Hollywood circles that Angie is still nursing a heroin habit....and people inside Hollywood know it's a place where everyone can know your business in the Hollywood circles and the juiciest dirt they have on each other does not usually get out to the public, because they hire spin doctors and lawyers who specialize in squelching squealers....the stuff we read in mags is often, note the word "often", either stuff that isn't as juicy as the dirt that I know that does not get out and if it did, in my opinion, many actors would be in jail for seriously sick stuff....or often it is stuff that is true, but the spin doctors go to work and the public buys the lie/aka explanation for the alleged behavior the star is accused of doing....it is refreshing when the spin doctors can not stop the truth from coming out and the public does get to see the mask pulled off a particular public figure at times...we need the truth to get out to stimy the enormous culturally declining influence public figures have over much of the public....
that's why LA is such as sad place....so much sicker than the public even realizes, in my personal experience and observation...
by the way, it is easier for a rich person who drops her kids off at studio day care most of the time, then picks them up later, and who has nannies working for her to shoot-up or smoke-up, and hide the effects with non-surgical face lifts, toning facials and all the tricks the doctors can perform...often on an out-patient basis and quickly too....if Angie's recent weight loss, huge veins, glassy eyes and dreamy talk during interviews (which from my experience could indicate she's coming down off a high during interviews, since she's not too spaced, but just enough to be dreamy and have this supremely positive way of talking that again, seems consistent with drug users to me) are indeed evidence she can't hide the symptoms of a heroin habit anymore...than the real issue should be why is an alleged heroin habit raising children and perceived as a healthy role model...one more thing, brad pitt is rumored to be long-term drug-user inside hollywood and is allegedly responsible for influencing Jen Aniston to become a "pot-head"...so his ability to raise children as an alleged drug user should be check into, as well....
I hope the truth comes out, no matter what it is...I will say that what I have seen certain A-listers do and the extent I have seen them go to cover their tracks publicly is enough to justify that odds of Angie's rumored heroin addiction as being very accurate, as opposed to not being accurate.
It's too bad the public isn't able to move to West Hollywood and hang out with stars, so they could see what really goes on in Hollywood...I think it would remove the naiivete of many people.
When have you ever seen Angelina traveling on a commercial international flight? Never. She travels on her own private jet. She even uses her own private jet at her own personal expense when she is traveling for work as ambassador for the UN. I have heard her say it in interviews that she does not bill them for travel. I find that odd since every other celebrity out there would bill for everything from meals to hotel stay. She repeatedly goes to countries where heroin is prevalent and a problem. She has had several countries literally break every know law just to accommodate her and make her happy even if it meant hurting one of their own citizens. Why did she have Shiloh in Namibia. I find that odd. I thought it was because of Herpes which she apparently has. Maybe it was more a situation like Anna Nicole Smith where they had to go where they could control and pay authorities off to keep her secret. I have read Ted’s column for a long time and before he had his column watched his show for years and I cannot remember one time where he penned a blind vice that was so obvious he could get sued for libel. Ted hit this one right on the head, that I am sure of.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on July 9, 2008 - 6:12pm.
(it is her no no place cause the only time Bradley gets a look is when she wants more publicity, oops I mean kids)
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Ooooo..I get a feeling he puts his junk in a cup and relies on Clooney photos to get enough to fill the turkey baster. Then he goes off and pretends to build a house or do something noble. lol
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
IDML,
No, it would def. be Lolo first! She gave that LA a ride!!
Then it would be LCT and Kizzy!
LMAO!
"I have no pity"
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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.
"A source said that when Angie first arrived at the hospital in Nice, France, she all nice and shit, but now she's turning into a real cunt. The source said, "She's starting to feel that the staff are starstruck and not attentive enough. She's throwing fits if she rings and they don't come quick enough."
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She's pissed that she had to give up heroin for months just for these two privileged blobs incubating inside her.
The site goes down, I actually go accomplish stuff and come back to this cunt demanding salmon. Is it to match the smell emanating from her no no place?
(it is her no no place cause the only time Bradley gets a look is when she wants more publicity, oops I mean kids)
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
I just picked a random hot Dlisted slut to fit into my AJ and its minions torturing us ala Red Dragon.
:)
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Wowza! I'm starstruck! My boring lil' ole city of Ottawa mentioned on dlisted! Whee! :D
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"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
I wish people would get over this sh-t already, elevating two annoying holier-than-thou twats is pathetic.
??
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"I'm allowed to complain that my fucking butt hurts every now and then." - Lolo
I can see it now...
Here is carrotop before...now she is changed. click to a slide of her drooling, writing bampz or whathefuckever over and over again and molesting mr and mrs. smith dvds. Of course, the lobotomy scar would be visible.
wonder which one of us would be sent flaming towards MK's apartment as a warning?
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
I think of them as SBPAZM rather than BAMPZS.
Darlene and Marlene probably can't wait to be born to get away from the constant sound of her screech to the quiet of the nannnies.
She is probably itching to get back to shooting up. Could Ted C.'s BI be any more obvious? A leopard never changes its spots.
I don't get it. Do people need these c-sections for medical reasons? Why are there so many? If a person (not AJ in particular) is going to take fertility treatments / have multiple kids / be all earth-mother about things / breast feed multiple kids etc., would they not choose to have a natural childbirth?
I would hypothetically get a c-section because I am not maternal and I am grossed out by anything to do with childbirth - but why do people that are really into this stuff not go the natural route? I hear about so many c-sections among acquaintances etc...
idiots drive me loco,
Brilliant link!!!
"You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing. To me, you are a slug in the sun. You are an ant in the afterbirth. It is your nature to do one thing correctly. Before me, you rightly tremble. But, fear is not what you owe me. You owe me awe."
Absolutely Angie!
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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.
1 Now when the Chosen Twins were born in Nice of France in the days of President Bush the Dubya, behold, there came wise men from the East to Nice,
2 Saying, Where are they that are born Emperors of Planet Earth? For we have seen their star in the East, and are come to worship them...
9... and, lo, the star, which they saw in the East, went before them, till it came and stood over where the Twins were.
10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.
11 And when they were come into the Lenval Hospital, they saw the twins with Santa Angelina their Mother, and fell down, and worshipped them: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto them gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh.
She's just so always pretentious...
Submitted by ☆ Shonathan Hilton ☆ on July 9, 2008 - 5:08pm.
Look at that woman.
She is so gorgeous.
If she were infront of my eyes,
I would so totally get on my knee for her lol.
She is just this Godess
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And she would kick you in the throat after she had spit on you!
Frankly, I'm suprised the :barf" humanitarian haven't personally issued a proclimation for our heads yet. Her and her minions could give us the Red Dragon treatment ala P. Seymore Hoffman.
The plus side is, all those mornoic brangaloonie idiots will be too busy masterbating to the news and rubbing their chocha's against their memorbelia that perhaps we aren't all doomed.
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
I'd be cranky too if I was bedridden, getting ready to squirt out twin crotch fruits.
Even Mia Farrow is saying "Bitch, tubal ligation NOW!"
Is anyone surprised that she's a royal cunt?