Dust Off Your Brangelina Shrine....
The golden chosen twins are coming this Tuesday! Shit, instead of dusting off your Brangelina shrine, you should clean out your bomb shelter. I'm sure the presence of the twin messiahs will knock out electrical, gas and water lines. You better stock up on bottled water for your Kool-Aid.
According to InTouch (via DM), Angie Jo has scheduled her c-section for this Tuesday. A source said that when Angie first arrived at the hospital in Nice, France, she all nice and shit, but now she's turning into a real cunt. The source said, "She's starting to feel that the staff are starstruck and not attentive enough. She's throwing fits if she rings and they don't come quick enough."
Angie has also demanded the hospital serve her royal ass salmon even though it's not on the hospital menu. "I think she's in meltdown mode. She's been getting upset if there's not enough ice in her glass," said the source.
Those nurses better watch it. It only takes one phone call from Saint Angelina for them to spend the rest of eternity in hell. Seriously, I think God and Buddha are both in her T-Mobile Fave 5.
In other chosen ones news, a radio station in Canada is offering Brangelina $1 million cash if they name their messiahs Mauler and Rush. Mauler and Rush are the name of two DJs on HOT 89-9 in Ottawa, Canada. Actually, those are fucking perfect names, but this shit is never going to happen. Saint Angelina queefs out $1 million in cash. That ain't nothing to her.
Thanks Mari & Cam
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Great more kids for her to whore out and get publicity from. The slut at like she is the only mother in the world every second she gets shes shoving the fact the she has kids down peoples throats
St. Angelina of Jolie and St. Brad of Pitt are the patron saints of Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition. Seriously, Jesse never got that concept off the ground and St. Brangelina have a six-kid start on him (or is it five? I forget).
Submitted by Leatherette on July 9, 2008 - 9:06pm.
Not from a SCHEDULED C-Section. Emergency c's are just that: rush in and save baby and mother after her shit's all tore up. Look it up; make fun of them all day, but celebs at least can hire the brains to do the thinking for them. Befriend an OBGYN with no religious or hippie nazi axe to grind. And most of all, insurance adjusters/accountants don't give two shits about "what's right" for the baby or the mother -- yeah whatever, maybe they do on their own time, but they're paid to know where the highest RISK factors lie an that's vaginal births and UNPLANNED c-sections, therefore the high risk of giner birth. fuck, look up what happened to Brooke Shields giving vag birth to her first baby -- her uterus on the surgical pan next to her, etc, doctors tearing in their buck wild to save her baby from being strangled by the umbilical chord IIRC, yuck ...whew, typing buzzed sucks
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Oh my god. Yikes! Fuck. Scheduled C-section for me.
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on July 9, 2008 - 9:34pm.
Now I'm off to throw a can of Bon Ami around my bathroom and make my husband clean it up.
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You're dead sexy. LMAO!
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
Your original post is toooo funny:))
She went on to say that she nearly kicked the bucket when she had her twins, "I had preclampsia, which is toxemia, and I had to have an emergency C-section and I almost lost my life. So my advice to her [Jolie] is to listen to your doctors and if they say bed rest and they say blood pressure cuff every hour and they say whatever medication they say, you should take it very seriously.">>>>>>>>
That actually seems like they AREN'T starstruck, and they're treating her just like any other patient.
"Stupidity has a knack for getting it's own way. If we weren't so wrapped up in ourselves, we'd know that."
Only 1 million?
Ha! Angie can get that for one of the twins' toes!
www.myspace.com/triston
She is a sexy lady. Her husband and she were said to be invited to an interview by a luxury millionaire&celebs dating site R I C H L O V I N G.C O M . That sounds crazy!!
I'd like to point out that "nice" is not an especially creative name for a city. It smacks of false boosterism, like calling it "happy home" or something.
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Why not have a delicious lolly (and $100)?
she is so beautiful.. but someone said she joined the famous online service SugarbabyMeet .c Qm, a place for rich men to spoil and support sexy women.....
I just read an article about disgruntled hospital employees endangering the lives of patients! Aj better watch it! God why does Brad seem to bring out the worst in all the women who date him? Fishsticks even seemed nice after they broke up! And stop demanding salmon, and listen to doctor Quinn!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Well I know one good reason to get a c section, it ensures that your baby won't end up with cerebral paulsey
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
leatherette, ALL c-sections are risker than a vaginal birth for one simple factor--the anethetic (sorry, can't spell that one). Many people are allergic, and even in scheduled c-sections, there is a risk of bad reactions, overdoses, etc. I read in Men's Health that of all doctors, anetheticians are far more likely to be addicts than any other kind of doctors. Factor that in too. Anytime you go under, whether its an emergency or planned, there is a likelyhood you will not wake up.'
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I will have to disagree there with you m8. You receive an epidural during a c-section and -nowadays-most vaginal births, you are awake and you doctors can soon tell if you are having a bad reaction to it and they will most likely lower the dose.
As for having an addict as your anesthetist well THAT is what I call bad luck. LOL.
Generally speaking, if performed well, both c-section and vaginal birth are nowadays pretty safe, however there is the component of "surprise" that is undeniably more present in vaginal births that even the most skilled doctors respect.
As for c-sections being harder on women than vaginal births, I couldn't agree more IDML. Whoever said that people who want to avoid pain should have a c-section was on crack. I wish I could have delivered naturally so I could have walked and bend over to change my baby's nappies. My friends who had their babies vaginally, were bustling around the house within the hour! I needed aid from a pillow and a nurse to pee for fuck's sake!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Leatherette on July 9, 2008 - 9:06pm.
Submitted by KidL on July 9, 2008 - 9:31pm.
Submitted by Leatherette on July 9, 2008 - 9:12pm.
Submitted by funsten beewaxer on July 9, 2008 - 9:05pm.
there's another reason for the enormous increase in C sections:
obstetricians often demand them because they don't want to screw up their malpractice insurance with accidents. many ob-gyns pay $60,000 per year in malpractice insce and that is not anywhere near the top.
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And that shit ought to tell you something: vagiiiiner birth has its perils -- no surprise it was a major cause of death for women before scheduled c-sections were available world wide. Am too wine-buzzed/dont care enough to search and link for the Natl Geographic article by an ortho surgeon who explains that evolution sacrificed efficient birthing to walking upright and survival from predator needs in the female homo sapiens structure, but look that up if your IQ hovers anywhere above Britney's.
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Vaginal birth is not without its complications, but you are much more likely to die from a C-Section than a vaginal birth.
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Not from a SCHEDULED C-Section. Emergency c's are just that: rush in and save baby and mother after her shit's all tore up. Look it up; make fun of them all day, but celebs at least can hire the brains to do the thinking for them. Befriend an OBGYN with no religious or hippie nazi axe to grind. And most of all, insurance adjusters/accountants don't give two shits about "what's right" for the baby or the mother -- yeah whatever, maybe they do on their own time, but they're paid to know where the highest RISK factors lie an that's vaginal births and UNPLANNED c-sections, therefore the high risk of giner birth. fuck, look up what happened to Brooke Shields giving vag birth to her first baby -- her uterus on the surgical pan next to her, etc, doctors tearing in their buck wild to save her baby from being strangled by the umbilical chord IIRC, yuck ...whew, typing buzzed sucks
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Exactly! As crazy as it sounds, a planned c-section is A LOT safer than a vaginal birth. (I should know, I'm surrounded by them). Doctors always say that the moment you are closest to death is when you're about to give birth.
Now an emergency c-section is a very different thing, that means there is something already wrong and that the c-section will most likely save your life as opposed to a vaginal birth. The joys of motherhood!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
If they were starstruck they would be tripping over each other waiting on her, they probably argue on whose turn it is to go in there, thats what we did with difficult patients, took turns. I highly doubt she is getting poor nursing care.
Bradiful Bitch, you seemed to hit the nail on the head.
I have looked in high places ((not really)) and low places ((really)) and have not been able to find this anywhere else.
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When life hands you lemons, you have one big effing basket of lemons.
OK, I'm going to say this in my best Mommie Dearest "wire hangers" voice:
"NO...MORE...BRANGELINA!!!!!!!!!!!"
The font is not big enough to express the volume of my voice.
Now I'm off to throw a can of Bon Ami around my bathroom and make my husband clean it up.
not that she is even considering it but what if they were two girls? Mauler and Rush? Yeah, ok.
leatherette, ALL c-sections are risker than a vaginal birth for one simple factor--the anethetic (sorry, can't spell that one). Many people are allergic, and even in scheduled c-sections, there is a risk of bad reactions, overdoses, etc. I read in Men's Health that of all doctors, anetheticians are far more likely to be addicts than any other kind of doctors. Factor that in too. Anytime you go under, whether its an emergency or planned, there is a likelyhood you will not wake up.'
And recovery from a c-section is hell. I couldn't touch my toes for weeks, and wasn't cleared to exercise for months afterwards. I wish I could have delivered naturally.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by zomay on July 9, 2008 - 4:29pm.
Thanks for the info. No big surprize...gotta wonder about him, wtf is he on to let this woman (i use the term loosely) land them with six kids in three years...hmmmm.
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
I'm tired of hearing about her. It's not like she's dying. She's having a baby. I was pretty much dying in the hospital and you know what, the nurses didn't drop everything and come running. Maybe there's more critical patients in the few rooms she's not taking up. Maybe nurses are avoiding her because she's such a self righteous bitch. I'm so sick of her "I'm a celebrity, I'm special attitude".
Submitted by KidL on July 9, 2008 - 9:31pm.
Submitted by Leatherette on July 9, 2008 - 9:12pm.
Submitted by funsten beewaxer on July 9, 2008 - 9:05pm.
there's another reason for the enormous increase in C sections:
obstetricians often demand them because they don't want to screw up their malpractice insurance with accidents. many ob-gyns pay $60,000 per year in malpractice insce and that is not anywhere near the top.
-------------------
And that shit ought to tell you something: vagiiiiner birth has its perils -- no surprise it was a major cause of death for women before scheduled c-sections were available world wide. Am too wine-buzzed/dont care enough to search and link for the Natl Geographic article by an ortho surgeon who explains that evolution sacrificed efficient birthing to walking upright and survival from predator needs in the female homo sapiens structure, but look that up if your IQ hovers anywhere above Britney's.
__________________________________________________
Vaginal birth is not without its complications, but you are much more likely to die from a C-Section than a vaginal birth.
---------------------------------------------
Not from a SCHEDULED C-Section. Emergency c's are just that: rush in and save baby and mother after her shit's all tore up. Look it up; make fun of them all day, but celebs at least can hire the brains to do the thinking for them. Befriend an OBGYN with no religious or hippie nazi axe to grind. And most of all, insurance adjusters/accountants don't give two shits about "what's right" for the baby or the mother -- yeah whatever, maybe they do on their own time, but they're paid to know where the highest RISK factors lie an that's vaginal births and UNPLANNED c-sections, therefore the high risk of giner birth. fuck, look up what happened to Brooke Shields giving vag birth to her first baby -- her uterus on the surgical pan next to her, etc, doctors tearing in their buck wild to save her baby from being strangled by the umbilical chord IIRC, yuck ...whew, typing buzzed sucks
i was hoping the holy twins would wait until my birthday, the 19th which is the holiest of all holy days...i guess i can't have it all...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
freaking computer, the dreaded tripppllleee post. lol
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basket of lemons.
lemons.
I believe the upswing for c sections are a direct result of the need for the public to be amazed and astonished that celebs bounce back so quickly and look so good after giving birth. They do not want mothers hips which result from vaginal births.
They schedule their c's and nip/tuck so that teams can go in and do their JOBS on a schedule that works for all.
One exception to rule? Gwen Stefani. Got her bod back the old fashioned way with hard work, diet and exercise.
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When life hands you lemons, you have one big effing basket of lemons.
Tuesday doesn't work for me.
I feel so bad for Brad, Angie is a crazy b@*#. That family is gonna have so many issues, whatever therapist gets that fam will be rich $$$$
Submitted by Leatherette on July 9, 2008 - 9:12pm.
Submitted by funsten beewaxer on July 9, 2008 - 9:05pm.
there's another reason for the enormous increase in C sections:
obstetricians often demand them because they don't want to screw up their malpractice insurance with accidents. many ob-gyns pay $60,000 per year in malpractice insce and that is not anywhere near the top.
-------------------
And that shit ought to tell you something: vagiiiiner birth has its perils -- no surprise it was a major cause of death for women before scheduled c-sections were available world wide. Am too wine-buzzed/dont care enough to search and link for the Natl Geographic article by an ortho surgeon who explains that evolution sacrificed efficient birthing to walking upright and survival from predator needs in the female homo sapiens structure, but look that up if your IQ hovers anywhere above Britney's.
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Vaginal birth is not without its complications, but you are much more likely to die from a C-Section than a vaginal birth. You are also more likely to have complications after a C-Section.
Oh, and the death following childbirth went down dramatically due to better hygiene.
Submitted by funsten beewaxer on July 9, 2008 - 9:05pm.
there's another reason for the enormous increase in C sections:
obstetricians often demand them because they don't want to screw up their malpractice insurance with accidents. many ob-gyns pay $60,000 per year in malpractice insce and that is not anywhere near the top.
-------------------
And that shit ought to tell you something: vagiiiiner birth has its perils -- no surprise it was a major cause of death for women before scheduled c-sections were available world wide. Am too wine-buzzed/dont care enough to search and link for the Natl Geographic article by an ortho surgeon who explains that evolution sacrificed efficient birthing to walking upright and survival from predator needs in the female homo sapiens structure, but look that up if your IQ hovers anywhere above Britney's.
jesusHandcrackers that Joker grin is out of control
there's another reason for the enormous increase in C sections:
obstetricians often demand them because they don't want to screw up their malpractice insurance with accidents. many ob-gyns pay $60,000 per year in malpractice insce and that is not anywhere near the top.
If I ever have kids, I don't know how it will go...
But it seems so fucked up that people can "schedule" c-sections and actually arbitrarily choose the birthday of their kids. How do you even make the choice? "Hmm, Tuesday sounds good!"
Anyway I'm sick of hearing about this shit. Her frail butt better not have any more kids.
I had 3 c-sections, not by choice, and they said three was the limit, I was done anyway so I got spayed. I also don't have the bikini cut, so that may be a factor.
I KNEW MY SHRINE WOULD COME IN HANDY! ALL MAH FRIENDS ARE JELLIS OF MAH SHRINE. I GOTTA GUARD MY SHRINE WITH MACE, KABALLAH WATER, A SUB AUTOMATED BB GUN AND 4589675678956879568776-96-8 GRAMS OF METH. DON'T TRY TO OUCH MY HOT ASS SHRINE, BITCHES AND STOP STALKING MY CATS ON MYSPACE...NOW!
Blah blah blah. What b.s. as usual lol.
Man pregnancy hormones can be such a bitch lol.
Hahahaha, just the same old/ same old Jolie circus. Soooooo boringggggggggg
I won't believe anything unless I hear it straight from James Haven
Sounds to me more like they weren't star-struck enough.
♥ ThreadKilla! Madge's new Vadge and Hot Pregnant Dude 2.0
Lean Like a Chola
Also, I wish I had jam.
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"I'm allowed to complain that my fucking butt hurts every now and then." - Lolo
Oh fuck I love Brangeloonie posts. They're so much FUN. And no, I'm not being sarcastic. It's fun to bash the biggest hag that ever lived.
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"I'm allowed to complain that my fucking butt hurts every now and then." - Lolo
Nurses would never withhold care, but like any human being, they migt get close to some person in the hospital (relative of a friend they have, a fellow urse who's sick) and go the extra mile for her (e.g.- getting her the food she likes, checking on her again, etc). If someone is a bitch to them, they don't go the extra mile- they do what they have to, and not more.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Nurses would never withhold care, but like any human being, they migt get close to some person in the hospital (relative of a friend they have, a fellow urse who's sick) and go the extra mile for her (e.g.- getting her the food she likes, checking on her again, etc). If someone is a bitch to them, they don't go the extra mile- they do what they have to, and not more.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
I heart zomay. Good posts!
EastEndGirl,
The only thing I know about France is that you can get two types of treatments while pregnant and hooked on opioids. One is the traditional methadone and the second is the newer buprenorphine. Doctors believe taking one of these will help an addict not use during pregnancy. though I believe that methodone is still the choice, buprenorphine may be gaining popularity because it gives the patient a more "heroin" like feel. Also, they believe you can take these while pregnant with no "longterm" issues for the baby. But like everything else in the world that is not 100%. So bottom line is you can hide a heroin addiction while pregnant if you had a drastic need, money and left the country.
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See you guys later! Got to go.
"Submitted by DiamondDawg on July 9, 2008 - 7:01pm.
Submitted by Green Is Good on July 9, 2008 - 3:57pm.
Question: How many C-Sections can a woman have??
St. Brangie already had one. What do Docs do, use the same spot to pull the crotch fruit out?
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Yes, I believe so. But I would not know from personal experience. And I have no clue how large/long the scar is. Anyone?"
My brother and I were both delivered by Caesarean Section, he in 1953 and myself in 1958. It wasn't a big deal then and I am sure it's even a lesser problem nowadays.
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"You better start thinking happy thoughts!"
http://www.myspace.com/artbybillie
"Submitted by DiamondDawg on July 9, 2008 - 5:00pm.
lol, Tonic. Could you please put a call into Buddha and ask him to reincarnate this whole gaggle of tards? Thx!"
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Already done. So far, pretty much everyone in H-wood is in the works to come back as a giant herpe.
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Save a life. http://www.dogsindanger.com
Very interesting post zomay.
zomay: Interesting post!
Angelina better watch it because there are certain people you do NOT fuck with: the IRS, flight attendants, the IT guys in your office, NURSES... I don't think any of them would ever withhold critical care or do any HARM, but they can still make things unpleasant for you.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on July 9, 2008 - 4:10pm.
"You see, I'm an artist, I am worthy."
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Yes, Bradiful, Miss Holie is, how shall we say... special.
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"There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all." - Oscar Wilde