Vomit Inducer Of The Morning
Why oh why did I read this News of the World interview with Mini-Me's sexy times tape co-star?! Especially on a Monday morning.
You know, I'm all for midget sex! Throwing Mini-Me up in the air to see if he lands in your no-no hole sounds like it could be fun. I just don't want to know all the little details! Actually, I do, but I'm a glutton for punishment. Here's just some of the things Ranae Shrider had to say about sexy times with Mini-Me:
on sexual positions:"I had to kneel down just to give him a hug. And anything but the traditional missionary position was just impossible. So I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees!"
These are some non-creative bitches! They could've gotten a baby trapeze for Mini-Me to swing on. That way he could hit it from the back.
on Mini-Me's mini-me:
"It wasn't quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big."
Um....couldn't he just put the condom over his entire body? FUCK! This bitch is so stupid! Oh and she's totally going to have Mini-Me babies now.
on Mini-Me's sexual appetite (cover your eyes):
"It was strange having sex with someone who couldn't reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing."
Do you think he has mini jizz loads too?
on almost drowning Mini-Me:
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub. Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him. Verne's voice is just like it is in the films and as he disappeared under the water, I heard this tiny yelp for help. I could just hear him crying, ‘Ranae, I can't see! Get me out, I'm drowning!'
I hope that scene makes it into the sexy times tape. Pure comedy. Seriously though, she could have prevented this by using one of those toddler tubs.
You can read the rest of the interview here. Just make sure you read it on an empty stomach.
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Stock Broker,
Oh, yes please! Too kind really!
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
LOL! Seriously ....you are too funny.
Submitted by mike on July 7, 2008 - 8:54am.
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub. Sadly I almost killed him."
Doesn't every good sex story start this way?
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
She's a cruel person for bringing all this shit out into the open.
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub. Sadly I almost killed him."
Doesn't every good sex story start this way?
I'm feeling oddly uncomfortable...as if I've just seen my old lady neighbor wearing nothing but a thong. *shudders*
He slithered up her legs and his feet were tickling her knees as he kissed her stomach? eeewww.
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In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
Oops, there goes more of Verne's "privacy". As though he's not already the laughing stock of the whole world.
I don't trust anyone whose eyes are on the sides of their head.
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
Clarisse ~ here's the bucket. Would you like for me to hold your hair back?
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
DAE,
Hey I havent caught the new season of Dr Who, is it even out yet or have I just missed it? I havent seen it on BBC, is Catherine Tate in this season as well?
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
Stock Broker,
Pass da bucket please.
DAE!!!!
David Tennant!! Brilliant! I LOVE the new Dr. Who!!
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on July 7, 2008 - 2:37pm.
Thanks ESE!
~♥~cause every moment we share together
is even better than the moment before
if every day was as good as today was
then i cant wait until tomorrow comes~Westlife~♥
She's clearly insane. Why is she giving all these details? Better question, why am I still reading about this shit?
Minime is 2 feet 8 inches????
WELL, at least we know where those 8 inches aren't at.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
She is an ugly fame seeking skank! I keep laughing everytime someone calls her "an aspiring model" ROTFLMAO!!!!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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I am starting to like this bitch more and more the more she speaks. Fuck mini-me, Ranae is going to be a real true star sooner or later and she'll have a time slot on VH1 and everything. Just you wait and see.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
The drowning part. It's priceless. Whoever knew that midget sexy times could be so dangerous?
*______________________________________*
"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
Somebody needs to tell Jughead here to shut her face and go get a job or something... No sympathy for anyone who allows his claws to touch them.
I am laughing my ass off. Seriously, this is the funniest shit I've read in a long time.
*______________________________________*
"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
I need some Dramamine....and a bucket.
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on July 7, 2008 - 9:35am.
2 ft. 8 in. (approx 80 cm)
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"My flag boy and your flag boy
were sittin' by the fire.
My flag boy said to your flag boy
I'm gonna set your flag on fire."
Christ, I read this shit yesterday in the News of the Screws. Even as I was reading it, I couldn't believe I had sunk that low.
Ranae needs to put that little guy to work on her snatchal area, standing on a footstool if needed. No more missionary position or bubble baths until he's earned it.
Why!? Why did I read this post!?
BARF!
(this chick's a pig!)
How tall is he excatly?
~♥~cause every moment we share together
is even better than the moment before
if every day was as good as today was
then i cant wait until tomorrow comes~Westlife~♥