The Future Of Fashion
The glamorous bitches from the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints have finally answered their calling and joined the world of fashion. The mommies of the polygamous sect have launched a new website where you can buy their elegant frocks for kids. Unfortunately, they won't be showing at NYC fashion week anytime soon. They only did it for cash.
One of the polyhos told The Salt Lake Tribune, "Our motive is not to flaunt ourselves or our religion before the world. We have to make a living the same as everyone does." Damn right! Why stop there? They should put together a pop girl group and a reality show. If you got it, flaunt it.
It's a shame that this hot shit only comes in children's sizes. I'll have to stop eating for a few days, so that I can fit my fat ass into a baby onesie collared shirt. Fundamentalist glamour comes at a price! This shit is not cheap and most of it is made of polyester. They need a new marketing bitch, because they really should called it polygamyester.
P.S. - Those kids on the website are kind of creeping me the fuck out. I didn't know people were capable of smiling like that.
VIA Jezebel
Thanks Wilma
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Hi Aphid, good to see you.
Are you the Wednesday wife?
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Submitted by Aphid on July 2, 2008 - 9:13pm.
Hi Aphid!! Absolutely adorable avie!!
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Hi everyone!
Haven't been on here in almost 2 weeks I think
Hope all's well with everyone
OT: my unibrow is almost grown out, all I need is one of them there Little House on the Prairie dresses and a can of Aquanet and I'm set!
I know what I'm gonna be for halloween - I just need to hijack my friend's kids - and her & her husband. Now I just need some black clunky women's shoes ....
Mormons that live on those compounds in Utah and Texas do not have TV or Computers. That's why when the ones who do leave give interviews, they're are always like "I've never wacthed TV before" If they owned TV's and computers they would probably know that it is not ok to marry your uncle and wear clothes straight out of Little House on the Praire.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Honestly those hot mom MILFs with the unibrows and the big Mormonite hair need to show all you sluts how it's done. Yeah, I'm talkin' FLDShair.com. You know you whores need to know how to grow four feet of hair with mall bangs, then braid that shit, you know you do...HWAT! Do FLDS allow scrunchies because that's the only way I can think to improve upon their hair perfection...Oh and QUIT PLUCKING YOUR EYEBROWS whoooorz...It ain't Mormontastically HWAT no more...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
mike,
Exactly. Fundamentalism is itself scary shit, it doesn't matter what denomination or title you put in front of it.
Submitted by ladybugg on July 2, 2008 - 8:03pm.
I'm gonna make myself a polygamyester chastity thong and pair it with exquisite lucite heels. Then, I'm going to seduce the hot fundamentalist leche out of MK.
Throw in some huge mamachichis and chola brows and you just may have a shot!
ps It also helps if you are under the 3'6" mark.
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"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
Gee, where IS the 13yr.old bride outfit?
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Ahhaha Fucking_Classy,
You're right... this is serious. That second to the lower right little boy is seriously testing out how many wives he's going to be able to fit into his cart at Polywives-R-Us.
migraineuse,
My understanding though, is that Mormon woman are seriously discouraged, to limited, to banned from looking at "outside information" (computers, most books, media etc), for obvious reasons... they'd find out that they were getting screwed hard. And not in the good way.
Submitted by madam s. on July 2, 2008 - 8:56pm.
The little girl on the lower right is already planning to be THE BESTEST MOST DEVOTED WIFE EVER!!!!
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And here I thought she was thinking: "When I grow up I wanna have boobies, er I mean, groupies".
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
I'm gonna make myself a polygamyester chastity thong and pair it with exquisite lucite heels. Then, I'm going to seduce the hot fundamentalist leche out of MK.
"Our motive is not to flaunt ourselves or our religion before the world. We have to make a living the same as everyone does."
Well, a LOT of those cult women were collecting welfare. If I were a Texas taxpayer, I'd be steaming pissed about that.
Submitted by Mr. President on July 2, 2008 - 9:01pm.
Well, at least they'll look their best when the compound bursts into flames after the FBI and ATF storms in.
Here's hoping! NO fundamentalists should be trusted, be they Christian, Jewish, OR Muslim.
Submitted by TOPANGA on July 2, 2008 - 8:56pm.
I was thinking the same thing they dont have Internet soo how are they goin to buy those outfit out of Paris catwalks
"She probably put one of her bear coats in charge. Actually, she probably popped them out, posed for her multi-million dollar pictures and then handed them over to a pack of wolves."
Submitted by Manimal5 on July 2, 2008 - 7:59pm.
The underwear is probably called Billy-Bobs Secret.
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LMFAO!!!!
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
Well, at least they'll look their best when the compound bursts into flames after the FBI and ATF storm in.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
Mormons have computers. And electricity. You're getting them mixed up with the Amish.
Actually I think the Amish don't have TV or read any tabloids either. I'll bet they've never heard of Heidi Montag. That almost makes me want to join.
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"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
The underwear is probably called Billy-Bobs Secret.
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Submitted by madam s. on July 3, 2008 - 8:56am.
The little girl on the lower right is already planning to be THE BESTEST MOST DEVOTED WIFE EVER!!!!
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Dammit, madam s.!! You're making me ROTFLMAO and this is just plain WRONG! This shit is serious!
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"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."
For me, the funniest thing about all this is how all of those tragically hip, largely atheistic commitmentphobes who think they are too wonderful to confine their affections to only one other person, and who call their cheating "polyamory" -- would never give these religious nutters the time of day, yet believe in EXACTLY the same thing.
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"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
We just totally took down that site. HAHA. Does that qualify as a "denial of service" attack? These chastity cases should know a thing or two about denial of service.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
This ad is a Pedophiles dream come true....and I though Mormomns didn't like getting thier pictures taken-oh wait-that's the Amish. Watever. As far as them having to "make a living" Is anyone really going to buy this sh** except other Mormons?(and pedophiles) and hello! Mormons don't own TV's or computers!! Someone needs to work on thier marketing skills.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Oh for the love of Half-Pint...
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The little girl on the lower right is already planning to be THE BESTEST MOST DEVOTED WIFE EVER!!!!
Sorry 'bout the double-post.
Anyhoo, this purity ring shit borders on incest to me. Beyond fucked up.
And you KNOW that if any of these poor kids ever get the chance to escape the evil grip of this CULT, they will become either hardcore drug addicts or serial killers.
These so-called christians ought to be SHOT.
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"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."
Ha! My mom used to joke that a purity ring would only work if it came with instructions for date nights:
1. Place purity ring on right knee.
2. Hold in place with left leg.
♥ ThreadKilla! Cheeto-Loving Redneck. Lean Like a Chola
lol Migraineuse! i love the PP taint slap avie
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I haven't attacked anyone or named called. I guess, I named called some today. - Submitted by HEART ANGELINA
I think it's freaky as FUCK that the little girls are dressed identical to women but the mini version. And for the love of Spandau Ballet, if you're a woman who has no human rights, no ability to go out into the world and do what you love, and have to share your freaky, nasty-ass man... can't you AT LEAST be allowed a dress that fits properly??
"Polyhos" is now a cherished addition to my vocabulary.
Thanks, MK.
*______________________________________*
"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
lol its six thirty...hers came from a gas station and says cock ring on the wrapper. that billy ray!
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I haven't attacked anyone or named called. I guess, I named called some today. - Submitted by HEART ANGELINA
Submitted by modianos on July 2, 2008 - 4:45pm.
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i bet miley has one
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you know she does. only i dont think she wears hers on her fingers. its prolly between her legs.
'guyliner-wearing, walking vagina known as Pete Wentz'-MK-july 1,2008
Submitted by its six thirty ... on July 2, 2008 - 7:38pm.
its some fucked up shit where the dad and the daughter have some sort of promise that the girl wont fuck til shes married. she wears a 'purity ring' for the whole world to see.
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Oh and do boys have a purity ring, too?
Assholes.
Poor kids, especially the girls.
What a bunch of sick, worthless pigfuckers.
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"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."
Submitted by Mr. President on July 2, 2008 - 7:40pm
A purity ring is worn by someone who pledges abstinence until marriage. The Jonas Brothers wear them. Of course, that doesn't preclude blow jobs, hand jobs, or taking it up the ass
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yer totally turnin me on right now :/
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I haven't attacked anyone or named called. I guess, I named called some today. - Submitted by HEART ANGELINA
Submitted by its six thirty ... on July 2, 2008 - 7:38pm.
its some fucked up shit where the dad and the daughter have some sort of promise that the girl wont fuck til shes married. she wears a 'purity ring' for the whole world to see.
______________________________________________
Oh and do boys have a purity ring, too?
Poor kids, especially the girls.
What a bunch of sick, worthless pigfuckers.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."
Submitted by modianos on July 2, 2008 - 8:45pm.
i bet miley has one
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Miley has Purity anal beads.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
LA on July 2, 2008 - 8:45pm.
Can't get in. The traffic from Dlisted probably crashed their site.
- All the evil do'ers from the DL are knockin' on there door...
Knock knock,
who is it,
Candygram.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Yep, it just crashed.
The server at www.fldsdress.com is taking too long to respond.
Its all MK's fault!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by its six thirty ... on July 2, 2008 - 7:38pm.
its some fucked up shit where the dad and the daughter have some sort of promise that the girl wont fuck til shes married. she wears a 'purity ring' for the whole world to see.
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i bet miley has one
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I haven't attacked anyone or named called. I guess, I named called some today. - Submitted by HEART ANGELINA
Can't get in. The traffic from Dlisted probably crashed their site.
Any group that wants me to give up alcohol is ten shades of evil in my book. If being drunk is wrong, I don't want to be right.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
LMAO @ "It's probably powered by horses."
fucking dlisted commenters slay me every time, even when I don't feel like laughing.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on July 2, 2008 - 7:38pm.
In the name of Kelly McGillis, NO!
This reminds me of Amish Pick-Up Line #3:
You've really got the build for that plain bonnet and shapeless black dress.
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Ha! That's better...I'd heard it like this:
I can see you've got something pretty special under that bonnet.
♥ ThreadKilla! Cheeto-Loving Redneck. Lean Like a Chola
Dayum, sorry for the double post, that site is bogging down my whole computer being that slow.
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Dick happens! - MK
Glad someone cleared up the purity ring for me, I just thought it was another name for their buttholes!
This shittery would make me RUN to join a Satanic cult. You get to wear cool black robes, lots of silver and goat blood make-up. Seriously, though, this is some messed up crap.
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"Fuck off, ya Bitch-holes." by my son. I am so proud...
Submitted by modianos on July 2, 2008 - 8:32pm.
whats a purity ring?
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A purity ring is worn by someone who pledges abstinence until marriage. The Jonas Brothers wear them. Of course, that doesn't preclude blow jobs, hand jobs, or taking it up the ass.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
(ok Paige, I am going to laugh just-this-once, damnit to FLDS hell)
oh yeah, and that is precicely where those brainwashed zomboids should go to.
BREAK FREE little buttoned up children of the corn... BREAK FREE!!!
Anyone got far enough to see what kind of payments these hot bitches take? I'm thinking they don't take PayPal.
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by Mr. President on July 2, 2008 - 6:30pm.
Shit, I'll give them bonus points just for having a website. The server is slow as hell, probably because it's not designed to have more than two visitors at once.
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It's probably powered by horses.
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin