Wednesday, July 2nd 2008

The Future Of Fashion

The glamorous bitches from the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints have finally answered their calling and joined the world of fashion. The mommies of the polygamous sect have launched a new website where you can buy their elegant frocks for kids. Unfortunately, they won't be showing at NYC fashion week anytime soon. They only did it for cash.

One of the polyhos told The Salt Lake Tribune, "Our motive is not to flaunt ourselves or our religion before the world. We have to make a living the same as everyone does." Damn right! Why stop there? They should put together a pop girl group and a reality show. If you got it, flaunt it.

It's a shame that this hot shit only comes in children's sizes. I'll have to stop eating for a few days, so that I can fit my fat ass into a baby onesie collared shirt. Fundamentalist glamour comes at a price! This shit is not cheap and most of it is made of polyester. They need a new marketing bitch, because they really should called it polygamyester.

P.S. - Those kids on the website are kind of creeping me the fuck out. I didn't know people were capable of smiling like that.

VIA Jezebel

Thanks Wilma



DannKnee's picture

Woah! Check out the femeale underwear. Its like a full body suit. I'm guessing that pooping/peeing in the underwear is a regular thing there...

lorin's picture

the girl on the left (near "overalls" and "underwear") looks like katie holmes.

Noelegy,

I am reading that book right now as we speak, and I can't put it down!!! OMG, it is BEYOND creepy. I almost think she is lying on some things cuz it is just too damn creepy to seem real!

Kizzy's picture

Submitted by Noelegy on July 3, 2008 - 3:28pm.

Same fucked-up justification Muslim hardliners use, yes, by all means cover every inch of every woman rather than expect any man to exert a little self-control. Heaven forbid a man should have to learn to keep his hands to himself.

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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

Noelegy's picture

forever.now said, "in light of this which I think is probably normal for someone who sews a lot... WHY would ANYONE want this crap they are selling?"

I recently read "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop, the woman who got away from the FLDS, and she said that under Warren Jeffs's leadership, the guidelines about what could and could not be worn got extremely strict.

The women once could wear prints and have ruffles and trim on their clothes, but it apparently got to be a sort of competition between them, and it all got a little too much like vanity, so they were restricted to plain clothing patterns in a small range of pastels.

I don't know what's the reason for the polyester unless it's the durability. The women claim that they're actually MORE comfortable in multiple layers of clothing.

When I was a kid, I attended church camp, in Oklahoma, in July and August. I mention that because we were not allowed to wear shorts or sleeveless shirts. The guidelines said we should dress in a manner that was pleasing to God, which always puzzled me, because I figured if God made us, no part of his creation would displease him. Fortunately, this was early 80s, so the girls could get away with wearing pedal pushers. We also had segregated swimming. And this was Church of Christ, quite a bit more liberal than FLDS.

Sorry for the length of this post, but after the FLDS stuff came out into the news, I followed some links and read articles about why the FLDS women dress the way they do. It was interesting if sad. They figure it's their responsibility to make sure that no part of them arouses lust or inappropriate thoughts in a man. Presumably that's why the long hair can't be worn loose. The "pouf" in their hair is about the only personal expression they're allowed.

Noelegy's picture

Did you notice that baby girls can apparently wear overalls? I wonder why that is.

Swedish_Bikini_Team's picture

Everything a Fundie Mormon could want is all here, including the infamous "magic" underwear and masturbation-proof pajamas.

Also, is it just me or do some those teen frocks look like they were last in style around 1880?

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"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think." Dorothy Parker

oklahoma's picture

Submitted by Genevieve on July 3, 2008 - 11:47am.
I'm sorry, but that little girl smiling in the corner is just too cute. Can I have her?

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Only if you trade for a set of wooden spoons..
And yes, she is adorable.. all smiling..

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So that's what your after... A Farter?

Genevieve's picture

Btw, I was raised LDS & my dad is still Mormon. Anyway, he wears the regulated undergarments & their really hard to get. You have to have an LDS id #. And it was hard to get em mailed, they really want you to go to the temple & pick them up. Anyway, I don't understand how they can just sell them on a site like this to anyone? If that's what they're doing then they're totally sacraficing their beliefs for money. And why isn't the LDS saying anything against these crazy people anyway? They're the ones who started this in the first place. Oh this whole thing gets me so riled up.
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People Suck!

Genevieve's picture

I'm sorry, but that little girl smiling in the corner is just too cute. Can I have her?
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People Suck!

angel_i's picture

I was all concerned about polygamy and child-abuse when this began but NOW I'm REALLY worried about all that polyester!

♥ ThreadKilla! Cheeto-Loving Redneck. Lean Like a Chola

bourgie's picture

Did Laura Ashley do this back in the day? Please eveyone know the best children's clothing are made in France, Spain and Italy. Who would by this crap for their kids and support a cult?
What next, a Scientology kids line? Please....

kdracofan's picture

TheBreakdown on July 3, 2008 - 6:40am.
The Children of the Damned now have a clothing line?
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*gulp*
the little boys on the left bottom corner and right (center) are adorable though.

VooDooVixen's picture

I like the nightgowns............sorry!

~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~

~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~

Few Words's picture

Devil's Sweatshop

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Submitted by jrtz80 on July 3, 2008 - 6:56am.
That shit is EXPENSIVE!
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No shit! $54 for a knit jumpsuit in newborn size that the kid will gloop all over.

Another post buried deep in this thread mentioned buying some of this clothing and painting it with pentagrams. I'll go that one better and cut out holes for the chocha and boobages for me and a dong hole for hubby. Or is that a wang bone hole?

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

juni's picture

Do these moms think they are doing their kids a favor with these clothes? It's not great for kids to run around in polyester all day. Their skin needs to breath through natural fabrics, such as cotton. Polyester is plastic. It is convenient for people who don't want to iron. So now you have tidy kids wrapped in plastic just because it's a convenience.

jrtz80's picture

That shit is EXPENSIVE!

Clarisse's picture

Ooooh-Weee! That baby on the bottom right corner = Gage from Pet Sematary!!!

We play Daddy! We had a awfully good time! Now, I want to play with YOU!

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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.

Pers's picture

I hope an enterprising hacker irrepairably fucks up their site.
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés

Deputy Trudy Wiegel's picture

There's over 200 comments, and I don't feel like reading all of them, so I apologize if someone has already shared this link:

http://www.modestapparelchristianclothinglydiaofpurpledressescustomsewin...

Modest Christian apparel for everyone! Yaaaay!!
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Cancel my subscription to the resurrection. Send my credentials to the house of detention. I got some friends inside.

Obviously, I will be the odd one out here....but getting a laugh at the expense of these children is deplorable. Child abuse in any form, is not funny, and should not be used as material for wanna-be comics.

I come here to read about celebs that create their own problems through their own actions and/or stupidity. I don't come here to see the exploitation of children who have been born into circumstance they have no control over.

Hekki's picture

Polyester is the devil's fabric. Repent, ye sinners.

And it was too far back for me to check, but I have to post again that MANY of these bitches were on welfare.

C U Next Tuesday's picture

CHILDREN OF THE CORN!!!!!

The infant on the lower left and the infant in the middle right column look like Rosemary's baby. Their eyes are black, look!

■"I want to fall in love like Amy,"says Nicole."I think Ive been in love before."
Winehouse lifts her head:"No,no,if you had, youd be dead because you werent together."
-Rolling Stone
■Even Stevie Wonder could get this Blind Item correct-Stock Broker

parkrangerpete's picture

Where can I order? These clothes are sooo me

Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs

Nanners's picture

The children smile like that because:

They've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in their hearts

Down in their hearts, down in their hearts!

They've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in their hearts

Down in their hearts to stay!

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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!

TheBreakdown's picture

The Children of the Damned now have a clothing line?

It only looks slightly less brilliant than House of Derriere designs.

www.myspace.com/triston

to kizzy...

that is true and it made for cuter outfits. :)

I guess the site is for start up cults whose womenfolk haven't mastered sewing bulky polyester clothes yet. :(

tangerine's picture

Damn, I missed a conversation about Robert Plant. I just saw him monday night with Alison Krauss (sp) not a big fan of bluegrass but his voice sounded great

Recently, On the hot millionaire singles club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M , I have some great experiences with hot girls there. Amazing, I seemed to see some famous player had a personal account there with his recent photos. He looks hot and handsome! It was reported on MSN Charlie Sheen has found his girl there last May. I am a bit curious what kind of relationship he's looking for. Sexual or serious, or committed?I am told to be a sexy american girl of 26. Catch me if you're quality and hot enough.

islandgirl's picture

Later, miso.

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Sláinte duine a ól.

miso-horny's picture

Ok Im outta here islandgirl...catch ya later...

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Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

miso-horny's picture

Islandgirl

HEHEHEHEHHEHEHHE

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Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

islandgirl's picture

Miso,

You said balls.

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Sláinte duine a ól.

miso-horny's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on July 3, 2008 - 4:15pm.

Or a batting cage with automatic balls hitting her head- balls...head hehehhe..(laughing like Beavis and Butthead)

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Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

islandgirl's picture

Submitted by miso-horny on July 3, 2008 - 3:12am.
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Ya think? I guess some people need to be hit over the head with a hammer more than others. Or a baseball bat, whatever the case may be.

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Sláinte duine a ól.

miso-horny's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on July 3, 2008 - 4:10pm.

About time homegirl woke up..damn!

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Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

islandgirl's picture

Miso, really? Vadge aside (if it's even true), I guess she finally realized that this asshole was going to cheat no matter what. Good for her. I don't think she'll be hurting for a dollar either. As it should be. Like my moher says, "You don't shit where you eat."

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Sláinte duine a ól.

miso-horny's picture

Don't know if you heard or not but A-Rod and his wife called it quits:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080703/ap_en_ot/bba_yankees_rodriguez

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Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

GovJerryBrown's picture

"Submitted by M.E. on July 3, 2008 - 1:03am.

Isn't this the same church that the ho on her 18th child is a memeber ti??

Please correct me if I'm mistaken."

Nope, these are Fundamentalist Mormons, (well, not really Mormons as their polygamy has kicked them out of the LDS church) the Duggers are part of this bizarre home schooling cult.

These guys...

http://iblp.org/iblp/

The BIG difference (I mean apart from basic dogma) is that FLDS seclude themselves on compounds and stay out of "the system" where as the IBLP are into getting into and CHANGING the government. Scary shit.

islandgirl's picture

Shut up, you viagara shilling, miscreant spammers. I would rather be shot with a ball of my own shit than buy fuckery.

Did I mention that you should probably piss off right about now? You are an asshole.

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Sláinte duine a ól.

pompom's picture

This is all well and good, but where are the merkins? I was all ready to make a purchase.... Damn! I just jumped in after a long day. Is there a Plant / Page conversation happening?

Diana Crabtree's picture

If they are selling children's clothes then where is the sexy lingere section for the 11 year old brides?

(Child abuse isnt funny. Sorry.)

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http://www.dianacrabtree.blogspot.com

cleonyc's picture

Those bitches make that crap out of Polyester? Sure it is durable but it doesn't breathe. I can't even imagine running around in a tent made out of polyester like that! CHEAP and HOT!

dlisted is the best on the web!

M.E.'s picture

I am breaking one of my lifes cardinel rules, and eating cheetos.

OMG! Why didn't someone tell me they were so sensational???

M.E.'s picture

Isn't this the same church that the ho on her 18th child is a memeber ti??

Please correct me if I'm mistaken.

gucci's picture

oh god are they serious?
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Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.

Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis

hellostranger2046's picture
    www.aooojna.com
islandgirl's picture

Submitted by luckycharms on July 2, 2008 - 11:52pm.
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It was the luck of the Irish! Seriously, there were so many to choose from. ♥

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Sláinte duine a ól.