Is This A Lohan?
This is a picture of HoHan's supposed secret half-sister. InTouch has the first pictures of 13-year-old Ashley Kaufman and her mother, Kristi Kaufman. Kristi claims she did grossy grossy times with Michael Lohan and produced lil' Ashley.
Michael at first admitted it, but now he's denying it. He recently submitted his DNA for a paternity test. He said that if Ashley is his, he will accept responsibility. If she's not his, he plans to sue Kristi for defamation. Um...he should sue himself too, because he's already defamed himself plenty of times.
Michael told the NYDN last week, "I've seen pictures and, to tell the truth, there are similarities with Linds."
Hmmm....she doesn't have greasy orange skin, a cokey nose or a permanent poo stain on her upper lip. And she actually looks a normal 13-year-old and not a 35-year-old hooka! Nope, definitely not a Lohan! That being said, she'll still get her own reality show and record deal.
ShareThis
*check, adds the Osbournes to the list*
Oooo, one more, Billy Ray Cyrus......
zomay: "Maaaa...", omg that voice, I can do a pretty good Drescher, sadly.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
This this mother decide she didn't like her daughter? Why did she throw her to the wolves?
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on July 1, 2008 - 3:35pm.
I'm in, I got dibs on Lynne Spears, tho- I will let my inner Wayne Brady come out and "choke a bitch" LOL
************************************
"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
She definitely looks like Mike in the eyes-poor thing. I think they should go on Maury so we can hear "Michael Lohan...you are the father!"
This is insane. I'm looking at this thread and there are SO many questions...and answers, too...
Should that picture have been released...?
No fucking way! She's a child whose privacy should be protected. She is not a "do-it-yourself-ho" doll.
Does she look like him?
Yes.
Does Ali look like she could be her mama?
Yes.
Is her real mama a ho?
Who else would fuck Michael Lohan? (wait, that's two questions...I guess we really can't figure that one out)
Did we need to know every word of every sentence uttered with regards to this situation?
HELL no! (see question one).
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
I THINK THE KID LOOKS A BIT LIKE THE ALLI KID.
HELL GIVE IT ITS OWN REALITY SHOW, IT CANT BE ANY WORSE THAN THE LOHAN SHOW, COULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE A KID NOT RAISED BY THE WHITE OPRAH, PITTED AGAINST THIS ONE.
Bradi
"Mister Sheffield, Gracie is not a baby anymore."
But you have to use the Fran Drescher nose voice.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on July 2, 2008 - 4:35am.
Would it it be wrong to add the Osbournes in the mix?
-----------------------------------------------------
Hey... this looks like fun!
I think I want to be a Lohan, too!
Submitted by Clarisse on July 1, 2008 - 3:30pm.
Gazing at the Oldman avie, and the Brad avie makes it all better.
Plus, Mrs.Kravitz, Missy and LoLo were on fiyah.
************************************
"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
miso-horny on July 1, 2008 - 3:15pm.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on July 2, 2008 - 4:10am.
Yeah so let's string them both up! I don't mind a 2 for 1.
- It's double coupon day for fame whoring parents, we'll take them first then the Spear's, Then the Simpson's...
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by Kizzy on July 2, 2008 - 4:31am.
I thought it was the new name for a Fergie Doll.
-----------------------------------------------------
zomay on July 1, 2008 - 3:19pm
hahahahahahaha...you 'MEMBERED her name!
That chick was/is on "Californication", she slept with Duchovny's character. I only saw the trailers.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by miso-horny on July 1, 2008 - 3:29pm.
What's the hell is a MissyPissyPants? Is that a new doll or something?
===========
Old troll with a new name.
************************************
"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Alright! Pissypants was making Kizzy cry? Now i'm pissed.
Lemme at em! Lemme at em!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
What's the hell is a MissyPissyPants? Is that a new doll or something?
-----------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 1, 2008 - 3:01pm.
The fact that she had anything to do with Michael Lohan prolly means she's a whore, so what do you expect?
She's thinkin' "Show me the money!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know. I guess my train of thought is that of a normal person/mom who wouldn't want to expose their kids like that. I really think her identity should've been kept a secret AT LEAST until the results of the paternity test came back. I know she looks like Papa Lohan and the timing makes sense, but imagine if by some weird chance she turned out not to be his. Instead of having a whore for a mom, she'd now have a lying whore for a mom.
meh, I bet it isn't his. I agree as to I don't understand why she'd want kid to be his, I don't think he has much $$. But hell, a lot of you people might have looked like this as a kid.. LOL.. I hope not tho..
-----------------------------------------------
So that's what your after... A Farter?
Kizzy
*hugs*
who can be nasty about what Mel- Tang said?
only some person who pee pee in teh pants.
_____________________________________________
I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
In order to be in this issue of the mag, the mother had to go the the mag at least a week ago.
I think Daddy Lohan was trying to do damage control, but comes out looking like an ass every time.
Submitted by TOPANGA on July 1, 2008 - 3:21pm
ITA- Unless she is dirt-poor about to be evicted, and thinks that maybe he might get a loan from Ali, that's the only thing I can think of. She should have known that Michael would immediately take it public.
************************************
"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Maybe she is letting the public know so that down the road daddy Lowhan does not date the girl. He seems to like them young.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well when she was fucking this douche he was still a banker in NYC. Ive seen some dumb whores do some real dumb shit to sit on a bankers dick for a minute and pretend you'll get a house in the Hamptons if you bounce on it just right.
Some bitches will do anything to not make their own money. Men OR women.
______________________________________________
I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 1, 2008 - 8:16pm.
ladyd was the first to post the news. I just repiled to the comment. :0)
~♥~my little boy breathes new life into me~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
~♥~Rather than change who I am for Max, I bring the life lessons I've learned to the table~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 1, 2008 - 2:55pm.
Submitted by missy on July 1, 2008 - 11:49am
===========
I want to thank both of you, as well as LoLo, too. That was really breaking my heart, and you ladies are truly wonderful people. Thank you.
************************************
"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
What a difference White Oprah can make. She looks strikingly like Michael Lohan though. Don't think there's going to be any surprise when the results come back.
What I'm still puzzled about is why any self respecting woman would want to claim Micheal Lohan as the father of thier child?! It's not like she's going to get any money from his broke ass anyway.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
BRADIFUL BITCH on July 1, 2008 - 12:14pm.
She reminds me of the youngest daughter from "The Nanny".
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Haahaahaa "Gracie".
Mrs.Kravitz,
"MissyPissyPants"
...charming.
Ricki Lake,
I'm glad you got my email!!! Sometimes bad-word filters flag the PissySlut part!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
Poor kid.
At any rate, she's too pretty to be a Lohan. But she does look like Michael. :(
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
DAE
thanks for sharing that! xoxox
congrats MK!
----------------------------------------------
"In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure.."
ROOF FLIES OFF!
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on July 2, 2008 - 4:10am.
Yeah so let's string them both up! I don't mind a 2 for 1.
-----------------------------------------------------
Great, vile skeezer 'family' needs new minors to exploit.
She reminds me of the youngest daughter from "The Nanny".
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by ladyd on July 1, 2008 - 8:09pm.
MK's made it big!!! Daily Mail is using him as breaking source for Sluttyienna's latest!! Go MikeyK!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1030865/Pictured-Sienna-Mil...
*
That's so great!! Congrats MK!!!!!
~♥~my little boy breathes new life into me~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
~♥~Rather than change who I am for Max, I bring the life lessons I've learned to the table~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
I'm sure the mother is a complete and total piece of trash, but that's how Daddy Lohan likes them apparently.
__________________________________________
It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
So if the girl isn't his, he's going to sue the mother for defamation of character??? Who was the one being a publicity whore and blabbing to all the tabloids about another possible Lohan to exploit? Maybe he needs to ask himself what would Jesus do? Since he's such a Christian and all. THAT lasted a long time, didn't it?
The poor girl does look like him, I wish he would do the decent thing and stay out of her life.
Submitted by miso-horny on July 1, 2008 - 2:07pm.
I think he's a fucking asshole for pushing this kid in the limelight, she did fine without him all these years. He should of kept his business private. Fucking asshole! I know I said that already.
*********************************
Maybe if we say it three times, he'll burst into flames. Fucking asshole!
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
miso-horny on July 1, 2008 - 3:07pm
It isn't all his fault, that mother's compliance, timing, et al, is very telling that she may not be so fabulous.
These pics could not be printed with out their consent.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 1, 2008 - 8:04pm.
DAE:I think some of them are missing important parts of their brain.
VLL: Yeah, the brain part.
*
*squeels* I'm on your siggy!! I've never been on anyone's siggy before. Wicked!!!
~♥~my little boy breathes new life into me~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
~♥~Rather than change who I am for Max, I bring the life lessons I've learned to the table~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 1, 2008 - 2:06pm.
HAHAHA! Omg, I remember the best spam I ever got was for a porn site supposedly called "PissySlut.com" haha. It went on and on in typical, garbled Spam-English. "MissPissyPants pee drink for u long good funn tyme! Only slut piss frog hookers urin in swimming pool sex!" I wish I'd saved it.
MK's made it big!!! Daily Mail is using him as breaking source for Sluttyienna's latest!! Go MikeyK!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1030865/Pictured-Sienna-Mil...
I think he's a fucking asshole for pushing this kid in the limelight, she did fine without him all these years. He should of kept his business private. Fucking asshole! I know I said that already.
-----------------------------------------------------
Submitted by LoLo on July 1, 2008 - 1:59pm.
Oh God. It's hard to put into words....the most heinously askew schnoz in the biz came up, that's what. Bitch looks like she broke her nose in a bar fight! It's so flat in front it looks like a diamond! The fact that her face was contoured to the last inch of its life with whore paint did not help the nasal sitch.
She does look like the Lohan girls. It's kind of scary. She has the same shaped face and freckles... I feel sorry for her. She will be a mess soon, if she isn't already...
Submitted by Clarisse on July 1, 2008 - 12:04pm.
Mrs K.,
Give me a name, and i'll mess a bitch up! I got awesome ninja skill!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She's gone now, thank you Jesus!!!!!
She called herself "MissyPissyPants"... now, what does that tell you?!?!?!
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
DAE:I think some of them are missing important parts of their brain.
VLL: Yeah, the brain part.
zomg - all the lohans are being whored out. (why would you want to tell the world that you're the sister of a known druggie, drunk and uber-slut?)
miso-horny on July 1, 2008 - 12:01pm.
Okay. Am I the only one who thinks that this kid's photo shouldn't of been released at all?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
100% agree. Who cares if this man fathered another child. And the kid should stay away from the public.
Trust, this will be HIS daughter, not WO's and Michael will get a reality, make his illegitimate kid famous all while trying NOT to make her famous, premise of the show, it'll be called:
"I Don't Want My Kid Famous" produced by Ryan Gaycrest.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by miso-horny on July 1, 2008 - 12:01pm.
NO!!!!!
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
DAE:I think some of them are missing important parts of their brain.
VLL: Yeah, the brain part.