Did You Feel The Earth Shaking This Morning?
No, it's wasn't Greasy Bear farting. It was Saint Angelina's precious angels entering the mortal world out of her holy vagina. Well, maybe. Yes, we're doing this shit again. Closer Magazine in France reports that St. Angie went into labor Tuesday Monday night and popped out the twin chosen ones this morning. This has not been confirmed and I called Maddox for the juice, but the line was busy. He's on the other line with Jenny Aniston and singing to her, "My mommy has 6 babies and you have 0. Mommy - 6. You - 0. Mommy wins! Ehehehehehe!" That's how Maddox laughs. Ehehehehehehe!
Figures that Angie would pop out the chosen ones on July 1st. Way to take the shine away from Canada.
Happy 141st Canada Day!
UPDATE: The Associated Press reports Angie is sitting her ass in a French hospital right now waiting to pop out her two golden money makers. A spokeswhore for the hospital said she's fine and everything is going well. She was admitted so the hospital could watch her ass and she's not expected to give birth anytime soon. BLAH!
VIA Huffington Post
Thanks Ben
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Clarisse on July 1, 2008 - 11:46am
omg, your so funny!!!!
Where is my head at, up my ass? Again? It must be.
Hope Skeletina has her photoshopping in order, you know, to be "real" and "the best example ever till the end of time".
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Bradi!?!?!?
"craptastic movie"?????
Noooooooooo! Angie's stirring perfomance as Master Tigress is getting major Oscar buzz.
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
If this is true then I am so excited for Shiloh!!She will finally have company in her kennel!
Well her craptastic movie was out done by WALL.E, so why not drop the news of the birth NOW.
The tummy tuck is not going to pay for itself.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Awww! After getting high off my ass last night, I was just thinking about how lucky I am to live in Canada: where weed is cheap and near-legal.
Canada for hot slut!
Aw, thanks MK for the shout out!!
Happy Canada Day to everyone and much love to all our soldiers overseas!! XO
In other news, I don't give a fuck about this twatty bitch or her rotten crotch fruit.
I won't beleive until People confirms it.
*rolls eyes*
Our Saviors are born.
Submitted by missy on July 1, 2008 - 3:57pm.
DAE - what does that mean... Female First??
*
It's a rubbish gossip blog
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/
~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~
~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on July 1, 2008 - 7:10am.
- Yes, yes they have. But there's a free all you can eat buffet and Bingo.
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I am so there.
Its 4:20. Do you know where your weed is?
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 1, 2008 - 11:04am
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Thanks Christine!
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" N'oubliez pas que le cerveau est l'organe sexuel par excellence."~Laurence Dubois
Submitted by M.E. on July 1, 2008 - 11:09am.
Have the gates of hell opened up????
Im sure she spread her legs at least once today to take a shit and piss, so yes.
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Submitted by M.E. on July 1, 2008 - 10:09am.
Have the gates of hell opened up????
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Isn't that how AJ got pregnant??
*ba-dum-dum-ching!*
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
M.E. on July 1, 2008 - 11:09am.
Have the gates of hell opened up????
- Yes, yes they have. But there's a free all you can eat buffet and Bingo.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Even if her actual due date is in August....doesnt mean she will make it. I was told that I would have my boys on 4/20....(WOOOT for 4:20!!)...anyway...i had them March 13.
Twin pregnancies rarely go full term...there just isnt enough room for them to go that long...even if your vagina is effing saintly and gold velvet lined like Angies.
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Have the gates of hell opened up????
I won't believe it until I see the chosen twins pics splashed on the cover of some rag.
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"Fuck off, ya Bitch-holes." by my son. I am so proud...
Those people at ET are going to wait till she finally does give birth and say "SEE, we were right all along!!"
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaa....buncha dumbarses!
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Oh, goody. I can have a beer now. No, wait. I'd have one anyway. Blah!
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If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.
happy Canada day and my apologies to all canadians who have to be attached to the country run by that asshole bush.
I knew there was a reason I washed my hair this morning..
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"In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure.."
ROOF FLIES OFF!
RIP George Carlin
Ok, so July 1st huh? That is a far cry from August 19th!
I still believe she popped three weeks ago.
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!
I should have known she had given birth...I swear I have been smelling chinese food EVERYWHERE i go this morning....its eerie!!! Dont know what chinese has to do with Angie...maybe its the smell of the next adoption on the horizon. lol.
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
DAE - what does that mean... Female First??
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Oh noooo....
*twitches, convulses, straightens up*
Canada? It's Canada's birthday?
CANADA FOR HOT SLUT!!!!
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 1, 2008 - 3:37pm.
PSL - FF is Female First
~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~
~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~
I hope they are healthy.
MISSY!! Did you really?? You are soo Funny! *opens up pic again* Jerome!!! Woopa!!
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
okie - BWAAHAHAHHAAA!!! ohh jerome... I hit that shit ya know... woopa woopa!! shit, now Im horny..
*grabs okies tit*
just a lil squeeze!! hehehee!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Missy.. I was looking in my documents this morning to do a report, and in those I found what was listed as "jerome" from yesterday.. LMAO!! Yummy Times!! dingaling dingaDANG!!
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
while brushing my teeth this morning I had an apparition of christ, I just knew St. Angelina was bringing the chosen ones into this world today. Praise the day of holy resurrection.
THANK YOU, missy!
I read the paragraph, and couldn't make out anything that looked like days of the week words.
i guess someone at the AP or Huffington Post screwed up the translation.
So maybe it did happen.
Congratulations and much health and happiness to the new babies!
I have to go to work now, so attack me if you wish for wishing the best to these particular children!
P.S. I wonder if E.T. will report it when it actually happens, or ignore the story altogether. (Still won't admit they were wrong, as far as I've heard.)
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"People stop and stare at me,
we just walk on by.
We just keep on dreaming.
Dreaming is free."
Yay, Marissa.. you can feel the Teet for that!! Just a little tho.. You did just get back from London!!
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Submitted by paulapoo on July 1, 2008 - 9:41am.
Those babies are evil. July 1st = evil children birthday. It's my younger daughter's birthday today too, and she is the antichrist.
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hahahahahahhahaaa! yes, Ill support that theory :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
accouché ce matin = gave birth this morning
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
wow her hands DO look scary! not like, wino evildead cheeto hand scary, but frightening nonetheless...
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I don't drink as much as I use to could.
~~Anna Nicole Smith
Oh, no wonder everyone's in such a pissy mood today...Satanalina spawned the 2 "chosen ones."
Was wondering why the air reeked of sulfur...
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Those babies are evil. July 1st = evil children birthday. It's my younger daughter's birthday today too, and she is the antichrist.
Four years of French and I got nuthin' on that link.
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on July 1, 2008 - 9:33am.
"becca @ 07/01/2008 at 9:31 am Is this true? Oh well I will wait for official confirmation from a CNN or a rep from Brad. No sense in pestering people for confirmation when you can just wait."
*snort* That was amazingly clear headed and logical. Oh, except for the "Brad" part like he's gonna text your ass during recess to let you know the good news.
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heheheheeee!! you funny beeotch!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by islandgirl on July 1, 2008 - 9:32am.
Well, we know it's not true because People didn't announce it.
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Hahahaha!
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
~George Carlin. RIP George.
Submitted by libby on July 1, 2008 - 9:35am.
does anyone speak French? go to the link:
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it doesnt say wed or tues.. it says somehting about this morning (ce matin) and somehting about last night (hier soir)
um, yeah that was helpful! :p
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ooooh, I have chills.
here go the "loonies"...
I had someone on FadedYouth.com accuse me of posting on "FF" (whatever site that it) because I said "loonie".
Branegloonies are SO FUCKING STUPID.
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“Some young people are told they’re actors and they’re not. It’s unfair to exploit a young person who may look good on a magazine cover and tell them they can be in movies."
- Ben Kingsley
IDk, I think her arms look a bit flabby there.. well her upper arms anyways.. We know she won't tone them up by picking up her newborns.. b/c those are actually her Blood children..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
does anyone speak French? go to the link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/01/angelina-jolie-has-twins_n_1101...
does it say tuesday night/wednesday morning?
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"People stop and stare at me,
we just walk on by.
We just keep on dreaming.
Dreaming is free."
Woohoo...cancer babies....
She better pop those things out, they apparently are sucking all the blood, nutrients and life out of her hands..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
"My mommy has 6 babies and you have 0. Mommy - 6. You - 0. Mommy wins! Ehehehehehe!"
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Genius, sheer genius!
"becca @ 07/01/2008 at 9:31 am Is this true? Oh well I will wait for official confirmation from a CNN or a rep from Brad. No sense in pestering people for confirmation when you can just wait."
*snort* That was amazingly clear headed and logical. Oh, except for the "Brad" part like he's gonna text your ass during recess to let you know the good news.
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
Well, we know it's not true because People didn't announce it.
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Sláinte duine a ól.