Monday, June 30th 2008

TORTURE!!!

I must have been naive in thinking that I would never hear the name "Kristy Likes Cocks" ever again. It's true that sometimes she haunts my nightmares, but I usually just wake up in a greasy sweat and take a Simply Sleep. Unfortunately, all the Simply Sleep pills in the world cannot erase this truly tragic news. American's Idol's resident redneck hobag got herself a record deal!!! This cuntry ass hobag belongs in a broke down trailer, nursing her pet possums, while watching WWE Smackdown on the 13" TV she bought on lay-away. She does not belong in a recording studio.

Cocks' first single, "15 Minutes of Shame," will be released this August. Her single title describes what she had to do to get that damn record deal! I'm surprised she didn't name her first single, "American Christians Rule!"

Her album is supposed to come out in the fall. Does that mean in this pork rind skank is going to be everywhere this fall? If that's the case, I'm totally moving to Tibet to become a monk.

Sources: FoxNews

Thanks Michael

Posted by: Michael K


BobsBB's picture

Has she addressed the mustache issue yet?

Tanya looks beautiful. I saw her profile on milllionaire personals site ****"AffluentBachelors . c o m"****

last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Leatherette's picture

thought it was Tanya Harding with a mall makeover

just another random Idol bone for the bigot demographic, moving on...

letinstar's picture

who?
_____________________________________________
be honest...is my wig on straight?

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Mr. President on June 30, 2008 - 7:38pm.
Don't worry, Aubrey O'Day
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Now HOW did I know that was gonna be you?

♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola

DreamyAguileraEyes's picture

Submitted by angel_i on July 1, 2008 - 1:30am.

Uh huh, thanks angel!!

~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~

~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~

parkrangerpete's picture

My ears bled

Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs

Mr. President's picture

Don't worry, Aubrey O'Day will crush her like a bug on the charts. HAHA.

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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."

angel_i's picture

She's Kristy Likes Cocks, sillies. And she's MK's WORST nightmare. Only a ho like MK would know who she is (and I mean that in the warmest way).

Also, she has the face of somebody who will be nobody forever.

Obviously, by leaving her up at the top of the page like that, he would like her to be OUR worst nightmare as well.

And now you know:)

♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola

DreamyAguileraEyes's picture

Submitted by Sock-Monkey on July 1, 2008 - 12:47am.
Who is this bitch?

*

I'd like to add my voice to that question.

~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~

~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~

Einah Teb's picture

Hey, what's wrong with having pet possums?! Possums are cool! They have little hands! If you put out two water bowls, they'll use one as a toilet and it makes clean-up really easy. And you don't have to walk them, and they'll eat cereal, trail mix, kitten chow, pretty much anything. They don't need much attention. They're basically nocturnal couch potatoes.

Possums are cool. So there.

-Einah

Sock-Monkey's picture

Who is this bitch?

~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~

Eddie's picture

Ugh I can't believe this. Just to keep it positive, love Jordan Spark's "No Air".

TOPANGA's picture

This chick envokes the four "why's": who? what? when? and WHY?!

*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****

Sayonara's picture

Submitted by NovaNightly on June 30, 2008 - 7:20pm.
This bitch always reminds me of Kristy Swanson
_________________________________________________

Before or after the fight with that man's wife?!

Wanna bumble with the bee huh?! Bzzzzzzz

NovaNightly's picture

This bitch always reminds me of Kristy Swanson....she's her dopplegangbanger!

****++++****++++****++++****++++****
Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright

Sayonara's picture

Submitted by Mr. President on June 30, 2008 - 6:24pm.
Country music has become the dumping ground for the no-talent trash of the music world. I can't watch CMT anymore.
__________________________________________________

Hmmm this statement could be said for just about all of the genres of music today.

Wanna bumble with the bee huh?! Bzzzzzzz

Sayonara's picture

I am in the wrong profession.

Wanna bumble with the bee huh?! Bzzzzzzz

sillijane's picture

My favorite line on AI this year is when this ho down whore told Simon she was going to blow his socks of next week.

She is a Simple Kentucky Country Time Lemon Tart Cunt. I love this bitch.

Lucy Goosey's picture

Mr. President,
I agree. Country music has indeed turned into a "dumping ground" for many.

In the old days, country music was quite groundbreaking: Pasty Cline, Loretta Lynn, Emmylou Harris, to name a few.

Sadly, Hollywood got its hands on the it and turned it into a mecca of marginally talented, peroxide worshiping, corporate hyenas.

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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.

parissucksliterally's picture

....and who cares?

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"I think she is a bitch and whore. "
-Pam Anderson, re: Chestica

ILovePapaSmurf's picture

There's nothing wrong with a little WWE. But there is something wrong with giving this bitch a record deal. My god, she's worse than Kellie Pickler - and that's not saying much.

Mr. President's picture

Country music has become the dumping ground for the no-talent trash of the music world. I can't watch CMT anymore.

*********************
"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."

sexyboy20's picture

================She is such a cuttie. Her photos were seen at millionaire persoanals site ******W e a l t h y L o v I n g . c o m*****last week. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now==================================

Lucy Goosey's picture

While I never watch American Idol, I am surprised to see that Miss Piggy was allowed to compete and record an album. Did Jim Henson approve this?

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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.

jgm22's picture

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaat?

jgm22

Frost's picture

Seriously...who the fuck is that?

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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?

ViVee's picture

Well, at least it cuntry music cuz I know I won't be listening to that trash.

marijuanalaw's picture

i love simply sleep!

Karma Police's picture

Please make this bitch go away. I don't think I can stomach any more of her.

Stock Broker's picture

M.K. tell us how you REALLY feel about this bag of pork rinds.

Good Nite Ladies and Gentlemen!

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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"

its six thirty in the morning......i am already stoned's picture

fuck this bitch. wait.......no thanks

Its 4:20. Do you know where your weed is?