Nicky Kidman's Birthing Soundtrack
Nicole Kidman is due to pop out her pillow baby sometime soon and she's created the perfect soundtrack for when she goes into labor. Only Nicky Kidman would do this kind of shit. A source said, "Nicole has been putting together CDs of music to listen to during labor. She has always loved James Galway, particularly his classical albums. Whenever you go to her house, she has Galway on. There is one Prokofiev sonata that is her favorite."
Broing ass James Galway? That botox baby is never coming out, because it will be knocked the fuck out! James Galway could put a tweeker to sleep. And why do people always want to put soothing music on when you're going through some fucked up shit? When I had some painful ass dental work done, the dentist put on some easy listening. Like that shit is going to help. I'm sorry, but I don't need Sade cooing in my ear while a fucking drill is going into my toof.
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Kizzy, I'm tellin ya...
Dwight Yoakam rocks.
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You're not a dancer. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.
During birthing big D, my mother was all up in my face telling me to breath, etc. Dirty bitch has the WORST coffee breath, EVER! I yelled at her "YOUR BREATH FUCKING STINKS! GET THE FUCK BACK!"
Whoopsie.
kizzy
one of those assholes sings about dying in Iraq, what a wonderful thing to glorify!!!
"punches wall."
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by M.E. on June 30, 2008 - 3:41pm.
What?????????? How do you know this betch? Fess up, FESS UP!
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FROM: http://www.laineygossip.com/Brad_Pitt_Nicole_Kidman_Tom_Cruise_Wedding_L...
Thanks to the darling Patricia in Montreal who attended the Kenneth Anger seminar at Concordia recently. Anger is the author of the Hollywood Babylon books and he said the third installment of his series was being held up because the publishers did not want to include the chapter on Tom Cruise and then he expressed his own doubts about the genetic origins of Little Sci:
“Let me asked you, do you really believe that kid is his? This guy can't have kids, You want to know why? Because he was a male hustler from the age of 16 to 19 and he was very naive. At one point he caught Syphilis, but he had no idea what it was. He (thought) he lubrified more. He waited so long to get it checked out that now he's sterile.'
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You're not a dancer. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.
SAndbitch
what IS it about x mother's in law?
I would kill mine if I knew I could get away with it. jesus.
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 6:39pm.
Kizzy that is one of the songs that brings it out! I can hear that twangy beginning with the guitars. Friends in low places is another song that inspires tremendous anger. You make a good point, country music is something that just pisses me off.
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OH!!! I HATE GARTH BROOKS!!! OMG!!! They played that damned song everywhere, all the time, you honestly just want to go all BugsBunny and clang some big cymbals with someone's head in the middle!!
See, the response is so strong, it's got to be an allergy. I truly believe if I were forced to endure an entire album, I'd break out in hives.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
remember what beavis and butthead thought of cuntry
it's about whiskey drinking and butt kicking.
B and B were very wise people. we should heed them at all times.
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
When I was pregnant, my now X mother in law gave me some shitting book called "childbirth without pain". We met up again recently at a family wedding I told her to get fucked. I've waited years to do that.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 30, 2008 - 2:35pm.
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 30, 2008 - 3:29pm.
Call me slow, BUT, she and Tom couldnt have any babies and now they are both popping out kids? someone enlighten me please.
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Tom was a rent boy when he was about 19, he got an STD which rendered him sterile.
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What?????????? How do you know this betch? Fess up, FESS UP!
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 5:36pm.
...and people think I'm in your face...they don't know Kizzy! :D
I definately have a broken down spirit about me in accomplishing things at times and don't have the energy to keep it up the way you do...I was more like that 8 years ago...I love that you are that way! Getting shits done the Kizzy way :D
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 30, 2008 - 6:27pm.
BWAHAHA! i went by the green beans the other day at the store with hubby and snickerd. He thought I was laughing because he farted by some old lady and walked away.
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Mr.Snugglebunny does that, or even WORSE, he'll come by ME and do it loud, and walk away!!
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Kizzy that is one of the songs that brings it out! I can hear that twangy beginning with the guitars. Friends in low places is another song that inspires tremendous anger. You make a good point, country music is something that just pisses me off.
Submitted by angry mom on June 30, 2008 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 5:18pm
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ROFL--there's you being all nice and sweet, and then there's me, f-bombs away!!! I start off nice, but then I wind up with questions, and when I'm not given what I feel is an adequate response, I get frustrated. Frustration leads to f bombs. I try to be good, I really do. But when they do something that makes me feel uncertain, I start to question their abilities-to their face. I have no problem asking someone, "are you fucking up?" I'd rather know, than just guess. I have no problem with someone asking me that same question, either. It's a fair question, I feel!
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
All i could hear when i was giving birth was the damn nurses talking about krispy kreme donuts and Sees Candies. I hadnt eaten since the day before and it was like 4-5pm. Needless to say...I wanted to yell at them to shut up!!
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 30, 2008 - 3:29pm.
Call me slow, BUT, she and Tom couldnt have any babies and now they are both popping out kids? someone enlighten me please.
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Tom was a rent boy when he was about 19, he got an STD which rendered him sterile.
Plus he's gay, so ya know, he and Nicole never had sex anyway.
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You're not a dancer. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.
well, when jlo was preg, she was a total whale and now that nic is not of those proportions she' not preg??jezzzzzzzzz
my sister just had her baby and she was just like nicole.. y ou could hardly tell she was preg at 6 mos... and she's back at her normal weight after 2 weeks and no exercise or diet either (lucky biatch) some women, specially slim women that get pregnant do not get too big..
There's no time to worry about background music when you're birthing babies. Nicole is just silly.
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Call me slow, BUT, she and Tom couldnt have any babies and now they are both popping out kids? someone enlighten me please.
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 6:19pm.
I am so feelin' you on this one, girl, I know it's old as dirt, but that damned beshitted achy breaky fucktard song invokes homicidal tendencies in me. I know one lyric of the song, "an' you can tell yer dawg t'bite my leg, but don't" blah blah I swear I could chew through metal. Just thinking of it makes my fingers curl into claws.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
cuntry makes me puke...All its about is "mah wife done lefted me fer mah brother an ran over mah dawg."
Keith Urban looks like a child toucher. Gross.
BWAHAHA! i went by the green beans the other day at the store with hubby and snickerd. He thought I was laughing because he farted by some old lady and walked away.
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 30, 2008 - 5:17pm.
you know?
I think of every one of you sluts when I hear the name brittney spears, see green beans, hear someone say bitch, it goes on and on..
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 5:18pm.
I remember the dude was Indian so I was talking to him in our "mother" language and the other docs and nurses thought I was cracking up...I remember saying over and over I am NOT going to feel this THIS time right in Urdu over and over as nicely as I could. :)
Kizzy you're adorable with all of the cussing to the doc! Awesomeness.
Bye Zomay!xoxox
my boss listens to cuntry.
me and steve look at each other in disgust and go outside and smoke.
fucker.
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Mr. Goosey and myself have never had children. But, as I have told him many times: I do not want him in the room with me and I will request pain medication.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Kizzy/M.E- I become almost homicidal over certain music. It's almost a Pavlovian response that alams those around me when a certain song comes on "ding" My mood is like Jekyll/Hyde. There are few stations anymore that play good music, if they do it's two good songs, 15 terrible. That one Chestica Simpson song that was popular a few years back brought out the killer in me.
Submitted by angry mom on June 30, 2008 - 6:13pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 5:09pm
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They'd have knocked my ass out just to shut me up, I swear it. When I had my gallbladder out, I was arguing with the anaesthesiologist "5-I still don't feel anything, are you sure you are giving me enough? 4-I still don't feel shit, man, are you fucking up? 3- If I feel this bitch cut me open, you know I'm going to come looking for your ass" and then I was out. No lie.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by zomay on June 30, 2008 - 5:14pm.
YOU TOO ZOMAY! xoxo :)
Sorry, I was out watering my flowers. Fuck yeah, Hoffers, you were doing your boot moves, tennis shoe moves, and flip flop moves all in one.
Its so funny when we think of our fellow DListed sluts when something like that happens! I was grinning from ear to ear.
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~
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Have a good week all.
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I'm sure Nicole can't wait to cue up Neil Sedaka, "You're having My Baby".
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Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 5:09pm.
by the time I realized it didn't take I noticed gigantic scary scissors and was too thirsy to yell due to the parchment...At least baby was healthy in the end and still is :)
Plus the doc that gave the epi had to put me under just a few hours later in the O.R. cause some other crap went wrong with me...It is fun to say Choke a Bitch though :D
It's easy to listen to calming music when your numb from the waist down. I find it hard to believe that she will do natural child birth.
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 30, 2008 - 4:54pm.
haaha, that song came on in the supermarket, and I nearly punched the cashier!!
when you thought of me, was I doing my boot moves?
course, it's summer so it's tennis shoe moves now.
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
shoe addict on June 30, 2008 - 3:06pm.
ZZZZZZZZ.............can u say slow news day.
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In case you have not noticed, the last 2 months have been slow.
I'm six months pregnant and look it. I sometimes do not believe she is really pregnant. And what happened to Nic??? Bitch looks NOT REAL.
Submitted by angry mom on June 30, 2008 - 6:03pm.
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 30, 2008 - 4:54pm.
Mine only worked on my waist...Bastards! :)
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That's when I would become possessed by Wayne Brady, and be havin' to choke a bitch. Only worked on half your body, and only worked on your waist??? I'd have had to choke a bitch. If they were men, I'd choke 'em twice. Just on principle.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Pretentious much?
I'd think music you can scream along with would be better.
"They tried to make me go to rehab I said NO, NO, NOOOOO!!!"
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
devilgirl - oh honey I COMPLETELY understand! I feel that way quite often! The radio stations around here SUCK and play the same tired shit.
Can't really have Metallica or Pantera blarring when I have my babies in the car.
Little Prince already has a new saying.
"Oh, shit."
It's lovely.
*rolls eyes*
MK has a good point. If I ever gave birth (which will never happen) I would totally listen to 7 Year Bitch or Hole and scream the lyrics to let out my inner anger and pain that the damn baby is causing me!!!
ZZZZZZZZ.............can u say slow news day.
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love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
angry mom, I hear ya!
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Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 30, 2008 - 4:54pm.
Mine only worked on my waist...Bastards! :)
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 5:57pm.
My sister, you are not alone. Country music of any kind, makes me immediately want to punch something, or someone. Since I do have allergies, I count country music as one of them, the response is so strong.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 5:56pm.
@Kizzy@I have no idea about pain from giving birth, but I do know that I have had toothaches where I am like a crazed, turettes syndrome person punching walls and screaming like Kaye West types on his MacBook Air
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See, that's me with a systemic allergic reaction, blood poisoning from a cat bite, tetanus shot, dental visit, whatever. I guess that's not normal, huh?
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
christine the hoff Ha! So true.
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Believe it or not M.E that music is more calming to me than a "sonata" or anything else could ever be. There is music out there I hate so much, when I hear it, I actually get angry.
Submitted by christine the hoff on June 30, 2008 - 5:53pm.
Alright, that settles it. The only thing I'm having is kittens.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
@Kizzy@I have no idea about pain from giving birth, but I do know that I have had toothaches where I am like a crazed, turettes syndrome person punching walls and screaming like Kaye West types on his MacBook Air. I ahve had broken bones, car accidents, terrible falls and deep wounds and no pain has ever come close to some of my toothaches. People have said they have learned curse words when I have had an "episode"
When I had my son, and only child, my epidural only worked on one fucking side of my body. they tried 4 times and I said "fuck it!"
I was petrified to do it again, ever. It was horrible.
Hoffers~ I was driving home the other day and heard "Car Wash" and thought of you with your rags a spinnin'! My black SUV looks like shit unless I get it hand washed.
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~