Oh Jesus!
Heidi Montag, the plastic pony from "The Hills," told UsWeekly that she's planning to record a Christian album. The "non-denominational Baptist" said, "I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God."
It gets better. Heidi said that she once planned to devote her life to missionary work in Africa. She will travel there this August to "feed children and help build things." In other news, Africa has just announced they are closing all their borders effective immediately.
And it gets EVEN better, Heidi compared herself to Jesus when talking about spreading the rumors about Lauren Conrad's sex tape, "God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted, ya know?"
Somewhere in Hollywood, Christopher Guest has to be sitting in a little room feeding these lines to Heidi Montag through an earpiece. There's no way this vapid skank is coming up with this kind of pure comedy on her own.
And Jesus is not amused.
When I sit on the toilet, SHE comes out and plops in the water.
She looks so sexy with the dress. I saw her profile on milllionaire personals site ****"AffluentBachelors . c o m"*****last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
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I hate this fucking twat, she always makes my brain hurt!
Your face!
You know, HM maybe a stupid ugly whore but I admire her persistence in trying to make a buck no matter what. Same goes for Douche Spencer.
I'll bet this is another dumb bitch who thinks Africa is a country!
She is pretty and sexy. I think I will love her. LOL. Every time I sign in to the celeb club RICHLOVING.COM , I can see many new topics talking about her. She has created a nice profile for seeking a great man for hook ups.
the Heidi Monsloth is made of plastic...
Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs
What's the big deal? Don't you remember Mother Theresa getting a boob job and writhing about on the beach in a pop video prior to her devoting her life to the poor?
Submitted by NovaNightly on June 30, 2008 - 4:14pm.
Mud Packer....I wasnt offended by your avie. It was strange to see...until i understood what it was. Truly a sad condition!! I read on wikipedia that the oldest known survivor of this is a girl of 18 (which was reported in 2005, so who knows if she is still alive)
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I know! I saw a special on discovery channel or somethn like that about her awhile back, thats how I learned about it. They showed a pic of her when she was little and I was like, I think thats the most disturbing baby pic ive ever seen!
MudPacker ~ much obliged!
See you around the Dlisted Neighborhood.
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
Doctors can always do something about the looks, but the stupid is permanent.
the DUDE! abides...
Mud Packer....I wasnt offended by your avie. It was strange to see...until i understood what it was. Truly a sad condition!! I read on wikipedia that the oldest known survivor of this is a girl of 18 (which was reported in 2005, so who knows if she is still alive)
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Submitted by angel_i on June 30, 2008 - 3:04pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 2:00pm.
Y'know, I'm betting Jesus doesn't appreciate everybody that comes to him,
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You got a point there...
Isn't "a crazy connection" the kind of thing that stalkers feel?
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Hmm, good point, I guess it all depends on just how crazy your connection is. Like, comparing your trials and tribulations of being a vapid twat with no talent for anything other than finding a camera lens, as remotely resembling the persecution of Jesus. That definitely qualifies as "stalker-crazy connection". Poor Jesus. He just can't get a break. Crucified, and now stalked by Heidi Montag. ***weeping
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Once again, im sorry if I offended anyone, I just deleted it and am now on the hunt for a new, better, much more sensitive pic!
And to StockBroker, thanks for the welcome!
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 2:00pm.
Y'know, I'm betting Jesus doesn't appreciate everybody that comes to him,
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You got a point there...
Isn't "a crazy connection" the kind of thing that stalkers feel?
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
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she'll melt in hell
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Y'know, I'm betting Jesus doesn't appreciate everybody that comes to him, I'm thinking he's ducking this one. I feel a crazy connection telling me that he wants no part of that.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
It's incredible to think someone so stupid, so shallow, so incredible void of any talent can make millions. Ain't America great?
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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MudPacker ~ the overwhelming consensus is to please have you change your avie ASAP.
While we appreciate enlightening us on the plight of these children, we prefer to stay focused on snarking celebs; your avie is too damn depressing.
Oh, and welcome to DListed.
Thanks.
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
poop
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Let us pray the Pimp's Prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Lord, so that she might learn a hoe's place. Amen. - A Pimp Named Slickback
Book of Revelations: sign of the beast
LMAO!
Somewhere in Heaven the almighty God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are laughing their asses off while drinking box wine and smoking a Bob Marley doobie.
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
Mud Packer has brought to light something that was foreign to me until now. I feel that I have learned something new today(in addition to my regular DListed curriculum) so I guess the offending avie was actually kinda a good thing.
Thanks Mud Packer:)
And kdracofan: I was typing when you posted, I guess, but I was glad someone was already feeling it and said so.
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Submitted by DJ Tanner on June 30, 2008 - 1:59pm.
that avie makes me want to cry
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Is it really that disturbing?
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I am holding my infant son while he sleeps so yes, it is disturbing to me as I can not fathom such a horrible thing as having your baby be born is such a way. I have learned something new as I had never heard of that disease. However, it is very inappropriate for a gossip site and what is most disturbing is why someone would select that as their avie. It seems too desperate a way to get attention thru shock value.
Well....if my avie offends so many people ill change it, but im not at liberty to do so now so itll have 2 B later....
She's looks real religious. A regular nun. Who knew that under the habit they all have boob jobs and wear red lace bras? Meanwhile, I'm personally praying that Heidi shuts the hell up or something from somewhere is gonna come down and smite us all REAL hard. I hope it hits her first.
angel_i: that's exactly what I wanted to say. I came across incorrectly but I wonder why must an user have the need to promote that?
Ha. What a crazy whore. Like she cares about Christianity. "Hmm, how can I make more money? Oh yeah, let's profiteer from religion!" I'm sure they'll have something to say about this at www.celebrityprayerlist.com
Submitted by Mud Packer
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Thanks to you, I now know that these babes don't live very long and are not often born at all. One source claims the oldest child to live with this was 2 and a half but I saw a pic on another site of a boy who was maybe 8 or 9, or older maybe, it's really hard to tell and it was only the picture. Apparently 1 in 300,000 get it - rare but not as rare as I'd like it to be and also, it's genetic. It's really sad. Why you want to make us so sad Mud Packer?
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Mud Packer on June 30, 2008 - 1:52pm.
Submitted by kdracofan on June 30, 2008 - 1:15pm.
Mud Packer: your avie is effing gross
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Would you call a burn victim gross? Wise up to the world!!! Its a Harlequin baby!
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It really is innapropiate. Why must you have the need to have such avie?
Not cool buddy
Mud Packer -- I saw that baby just recently on some website and they were referring to it as the "demon baby." The name is harsh--but not nearly as harsh as the physical disadvantage that poor baby has to endure.
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In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
Submitted by DJ Tanner on June 30, 2008 - 1:59pm.
that avie makes me want to cry
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Is it really that disturbing?
that avie makes me want to cry
Submitted by kdracofan on June 30, 2008 - 1:15pm.
Mud Packer: your avie is effing gross
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Would you call a burn victim gross? Wise up to the world!!! Its a Harlequin baby!
*See explanatin below!*
Eh, perhaps she's too busy thinking about her future *cough* charity work, but she should fix that bra she's got peeking out from her shirt, there. The whole "Look at me! Look at my bra!" is a shameless, transparent plea for attention and is magnificently trashy to boot. Jesus doesn't like attention whores, and he sure as hell doesn't like sloppy bitches.
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In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
Submitted by FilthyBitch on June 30, 2008 - 10:34am.
Jesus says get your roots done, whore.
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ah ha ha ha ha
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Let us pray the Pimp's Prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Lord, so that she might learn a hoe's place. Amen. - A Pimp Named Slickback
Does that mean we get to crucify her too?Yea!Let me get the pop corn!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Little posts like this over the last year and a half had enabled this plastic hot ass mess to generate millions of dollars.
She may believe in God, but this is proof the the Devil is alive and well.
www.myspace.com/triston
Jesus says get your roots done, whore.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Will she be wearing that red lace bra when she sings her Christian songs?
"...I always felt this crazy connection to God."
Yeah, painfully stupid people usually do.
Kiss,
Fifi
"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction..."
On release day it will be at the bottom of a bargain bin at a Big K truck stop along with chestica's cuntry album.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
Submitted by Mud Packer on June 30, 2008 - 11:51am.
Harlequin Babies....they're people too! There are people who live like this out in the world and they should not be grimaced at or hidden away!
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Aw man! You're making it really hard for me to be shallow today. And I *like* being shallow. *sigh*
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
She's beautiful and talented...I saw her profile on whoreswhopray.com :::::::::::::
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Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth.
On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
-- Steven Wright
LMAO!!!!!! I guess she fancies herself another Audrey Hepburn. Hope she gets worms and a good case of the Hershey Squirts!
"Gaaaaaack urp urrrrp gulp gaaaack PTOOEY!" - Mimi my cat just tossed a hairball when she saw this post.
My God, where do I start? First, Christ wasn't persecuted because he was a liar. She is a liar. Second, being a Baptist is a denomination. Third, if she is so religiously devout, she wouldn't be shacking up with another woman (Spencer) without the union of marriage. Fourth, Africa doesn't need some plastic, vapid, uneducated reality ho doing any sort of missionary work for them. What kind of help could a brainless whore be in a poor village? Fifth, if she had a crazy connection with God, he would have told her to take her own life by now, because even he is sick of the bitch!
Mud Packer: your avie is effing gross
Is this stupid skank setting herself up for a run for the Senate from Misissippi? Between the guns, Jeebus, and the plastic tits, she's about perfect.
Submitted by Better Off Dead on June 30, 2008 - 1:05pm.
Mud Packer - The name and pic is from a John Cusack movie, and those harlequin babies make me want to cry. Thanks for fucking up my day! (kidding)
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I think im desenitized to alot of things at this point in my life. Thanks cable television!