He Had Me At "Elegant"

A couple of hilarious voicemails (above) from a mega-douche named Dimitri are currently making the internet rounds. It all started when d-bag Dimitri met the "elegant" Olga outside of a bar in San Francisco. Elegant Olga made the mistake of giving him her business card. Dimitri called Elegant Olga several times and delivered such memorable quotes as:

"You're an extremely elegant woman. I couldn't take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous, even if they say they weren't..."

"I'm Greek and I'm extremely particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here. "

"But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder."

Jezebel has the complete transcript of Dmitri's douchetastic voicemails to Elegant Olga. I'm shocked as to why Olga never called Dimitri back. I mean, he called her "elegant" several times! Any dude that calls me "elegant" is definitely the one.

Dimitri totally borrowed his mommy's cell phone to leave Elegant Olga messages during his lunch break from his 8-hour shift at Quizno's.

Thanks Melanie

Posted by: Michael K

•

Dumb Bitch of the Day • Girlfriend Please

Submitted by Lori Dukes on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:42pm.

I hope he called her again.

Submitted by Athina on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:42pm.

Holy crap, this reminds me of something that happened to me a couple of years back. I met this (seemingly) nice guy at a party and gave him my number. He was a friend of my best friend's husband, so I think he's ok. We make plans to go to dinner the next night. He comes to pick me up. He pulls up to my house in a huge black pickup truck with a vanity license plate in the front that said---STALKER. I shit you not. I asked him about it, and he said he thought it was funny because a girl called him a stalker one time. We had a very uncomfortable dinner, and I made up a story about having to be up early the next morning. He kept calling for like 2 weeks, several times a day, leaving me messages calling me "rude" and "ungrateful." Psyyyycho.

Submitted by 2Di4 on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:39pm.

those
are
the
most
**awesome**
voicemails
ever.

thank you for making today worth living, michael.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:38pm.

creeeepppyy....
and this, folks, is why I live with my police dog..

----------------------------------------------

"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin

Submitted by pompom on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:38pm.

I was expecting him to say 'classy' as well. He sounds like a member of the Paul Janka pick-up school. Gawker had this to say about him this morning (see below). This rare jem is Canadian? Anyway, the url doesn't seem to be working. Not sure if it is a joke...

From Gawker:
Dimitri doesn't seem to be too upset that his incredibly creepy pickup strategy leaked onto the internet. He just relaunched his webstite! THE OFFICIAL WEB SITE OF DIMITRI THE LOVER, CANADA'S GREATEST LOVER AND SEDUCER is live! Just last night his site announced something major in the works. And here it is! He's working on a full-length documentary, apparently, as well as two reality shows.

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:37pm.

CUNTY!

______________________________________________
I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!

Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:36pm.

well, this post is random.
Elegant Lady needs an elegant side arm.

OPA!

?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"

Submitted by Madam Yummi on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:36pm.

What is wrong with Olga! If someone called me and left messages like that, I'd be all on it.

But seriously,
I actually had someone call me over and over and leave messages similar to this. He even got his cousin to call me. And then some "friend".

Crazy!

Submitted by CeeCee on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:36pm.

Run Olga, run!

Submitted by The Real Mimi on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:36pm.

OMG! That is hilarious!!! Why did she give him her number in the first place?! I love it when he says that he's one of the few normal guys left. LOL!

Submitted by LoLo on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:35pm.

my god
______________________________________________
I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:35pm.

People are just getting cerazier and crazier, aren't they? I work with a bunch of loons, some who are not unlike Mr. Elegance. Scary, huh? What the hell is going on?

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:34pm.

Submitted by ricki lake on June 27, 2008 - 9:31am.

Ricki, dear. Do me a favor. Eat a knish and a black and white cookie for me this weekend. We don't have such things in the Pacific Northwest :(

-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Near the end, "Sir, you kill my children with this price."

Submitted by dustbunny on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:34pm.

And he's completely clueless on why he is single.
creep
============
http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
Submitted by Migraineuse: "Chaps are assless by definition. If they weren't, they'd be PANTS."

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:33pm.

What a JERK!!

~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~

~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~

Submitted by ricki lake on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 12:31pm.

Why are Greek dudes so often so full of themselves and the fact that they're Greek? Get the fuck over it, the rest of the world did. Or did you not notice that Greece hasn't been at the forefront of anything since fucking BCE? Talk about keeping the old glory days alive.