Madge & Guy Are Over (Maybe)
Another day, another 10,000 Madge/Guy Ritchie divorce rumors. The rumors are everything from Madge officially hiring Paul McCartney's divorce lawyer to Madge announcing her divorce after her world tour ends in November. My favorite story is about Madge and Guy's romantic three-day trip to Milan, Italy.
The Sun reports that the trip was supposed to be all romantic and shit, but they both spent it working. They also spent it in separate hotel rooms. A source said, “They had completely separate rooms, schedules, everything. It is all very well organized but it’s not a marriage the way most people understand it. They have this attitude like ‘we’re not really a couple but we’re friends and we love each other and raise our kids’. "
If you were married to Vadge, you'd have to sleep in a separate room too. You know her vagina snores like a choking walrus. Besides, the bed isn't big enough for Vadge, her blackberry, her laptop, her money bag, a life-sized cardboard cutout of herself AND Guy. There's just no room for him!
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Her vadge is so old that paleonotologists found a stegosaurus fin in it at her last exam.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Madge gets her song ideas from the echos that come out of her gaping dildo-locket.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Her vadge is so gay, Adam left Eve for Steve.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
_Submitted by angel_i on June 26, 2008 - 1:29pm.
ha ha she married a vag ha ha ha
merkin times arggggggggggggg!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
MAdonnas love canal is so old and senile after she has sex she has to ask the cock, "what did you just say?"
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
I will make everyone here a promise: If I ever win the lottery, I'm sending you all merkins.
I'm reading about them on Wikipedia and apparently the word's been around since 1617. Those French pirates were so cool.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by LoLo on June 26, 2008 - 12:26pm.
Madonnas penis holder
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I have to say: these are my favourite parts of your MEAN, MEAN posts!
PS. you're funny:)
Madonna's vadge is so used up she married one.
♥ Paris Hilton, to Jackie Collins: If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours.Lean Like a Chola
I hope Guy sues her for alimony so he can replace his spine & balls that Madonna took away and keeps under her pillow...next to the apothecary jar that contains his manhood.
I hate Madonna with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.
Modonnas panty burrito is so chola she hides razors in her sharpie pubes!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Submitted by Clarisse on June 26, 2008 - 12:28pm.
Uh, She's so old, when god said "let there be light" Vadge was the one that flicked the switch.
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Hahahahahah!!!
Her vadge is so old she uses Ben-Gay for lube.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Madge's vadge is so gay, Elton John wants to marry it!
Uh, She's so old, when god said "let there be light" Vadge was the one that flicked the switch.
Nah...i'll leave this to the pros.
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You know her vagina snores like a choking walrus. - MK
Her vadge is so old, they used it as a loudspeaker to echo broadcasts at jousting tournaments.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Madonnas penis holder is so old and gay that she has platform shoes with kick stands on them so she wont trip and break a hip!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Gay vadge. LoLo, you're killing me!
Madge's vadge is so gay, Peter Allen gave up and went straight.
Carrot said merkin!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Madge's vadge is so old....*how old is it*, it's so old it it took an team of Vadgeologists to decipher the hieroglyphics on it's walls.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
The poster/s who mentioned madge clutching her dress in a control grip and Guy holding onto HER are arm as the girlie man are spot on, all the way down to Guy lifting his pinky. I'm shocked that he isn't the one carrying the GD purse. Poor Guy looks owned.
Uhm, Her ass hole is so old, she farts powdered donuts? IDK.. I got nothing here..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Damn - I HAVE to play!
Her vadge is so old, she squirts cobwebs.
Like Spiderman.
*sigh*
♥ Paris Hilton, to Jackie Collins: If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours.Lean Like a Chola
Madonnas vag is so gay when she queefs a marching band in pink tights and sparkle wigs comes marching out!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
K, let me try again.
Madge's first merkin was made of the tails of a hundred woolly mammoths.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
That's lame if they really are waiting to announce their divorce until after her tour in Nov. If so, Why wait?? Just stupid trickery!
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Submitted by Team Valtrex on June 26, 2008 - 12:10pm.
The 1st condom she ever saw was made of papyrus.
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I'm telling Aunt Bea!
♥ Paris Hilton, to Jackie Collins: If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours.Lean Like a Chola
Madge is so old she used her gap to start fires by rolling wood between her front teeth.
Wop wop wooooooooop. I lose.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
That dress is completely gorgeous - shame her head can't quite pull it off. Their relationship just sounds horribly lonely. I reckon they both must have someone else on the side otherwise they'd be utterly miserable.
Her baby birther is so outdated she cums metamucil!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Her lips are so meaty that PETA is boycotting Guy Ritchie.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 26, 2008 - 1:08pm.
Her vadge is so old...
ha ha vagina clown cars
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
The 1st condom she ever saw was made of papyrus.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Her nay nay is so od the pubes have been replaced with cob webs.
Her "jane fonda" is so worn out she can jump out of a plane and not need a parachute!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Her talons are clutching desperately to any shred of relevance she can hold.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Her vadge is so old...
Vadge and Guy were out driving in a large car --both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. Guy, who was in the passenger seat thought to himself "I must be losin it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time Guy was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that he was losing it. He was was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and he turned to Vadge and said, "Vadge! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!" Vadge turned to him and said "Oh SHIT, am I driving?"
Submitted by LoLo on June 26, 2008 - 12:55pm.
Her cha-cha is so old she pees in black and white!
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Bwahahahahaha..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Her vadge is so old, she used the Shroud of Turin as a maxipad.
I don't know about you but there is nothing wrong with separate bedrooms and a lot that's right - like getting a really good night's sleep.
As for the romantic notion that long-married people should or do do everything together - that is suffocating.
But what goes on in her marriage - who cares?
Her first diaphragm was made of Brontosaurus.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
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You know her vagina snores like a choking walrus. - MK
Her first dildo was steam powered.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
hang on im fuxin choking on TVS! betsy ross shit!
that was the best one so far!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
I'm crying over here!!
I imagine being married to her would be very lonely.
Her first diaphragm was made of Brontosaurus.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Team Valtrex,
"Her vadge is so old, she doesn't get yeast infections, she gets poltergeists."
Oh, LoLo, that's gonna be hard to beat!!!
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You know her vagina snores like a choking walrus. - MK
Her first thong was sewn by Betsy Ross.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by LoLo on June 26, 2008 - 11:55am.
_@ Team Valtrex and Green is good
Her cha-cha is so old she pees in black and white!
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Love the vadge jokes Team Valtrex and LoLo! I'm peeing my diaper over here!!!
Submitted by LoLo on June 26, 2008 - 12:49pm.
You know what i find so ironic about that? She done hid his balls in the closet shes in and he doesnt even know it!
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Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha oh fuck. So true. He might have to scrape the strap-on lube and trimmed pubes off his balls once he gets them out of there.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by LoLo on June 26, 2008 - 12:55pm.
Her vadge is so old, she doesn't get yeast infections, she gets poltergeists.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
I do not blame Vadge for wanting to retain her youth and remain relevant but sometimes, girlfriend, ya just gotta go with the flow.
As my old buddy JL said, Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream.
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I guess you dont want to see what my hand it touching right now. Its intimate and there is mayo involved~~Lolo, 6/24/08
_@ Team Valtrex and Green is good
Her cha-cha is so old she pees in black and white!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!