Cell Phone In Ass
Basically, this dude right here shoved a cell phone up his ass. You see, Jeffrey Barrier was arrested at a tanning salon in Cincinnati for allegedly trying to take pictures of a nekkid woman. 41-year-old Jeffrey stood on a chair to get pictures of the chick. When the fuzz arrived, Jeffrey denied away and said he didn't have a camera with him.
When the police searched his ass, literally, they found the shitty cell phone camera. Don't ask me how this sick fuck got the cell phone up his ass. Don't ask me to demonstrate either. I save fuckery like that for the end of the week. My ass needs a couple of days to recover.
Seriously though, he's one talented butt fucker. I bet he can text his friends with his sphincter. And screw a mug shot! I want an ass shot! His ass can probably smile and wink for the camera too!
Source: The Smoking Gun
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Submitted by pompom on June 24, 2008 - 2:48pm.
Do the police automatically search one's ass? Why would it occur to them to search his ass for a phone?
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The muffled Looney Tunes ring tone probably gave them the clue.
Every picture he takes will have a star-shaped frame!
everyone knows cell phones give you cancer.
i guess this guy's gonna get buthole cancer
Do you suppose he had his network in there too????
What did we learn from this thread?
There is an odd connection between loving to read about celebrities and loving to read about criminals.
Hmm, well maybe not so odd.
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Run! It's the clergy!
I bet they made him squat & cough !
more bars in more places.....
What an idiot. That's what the internet is for: porn!
LoLo.. Then said Coffee Maker uses his small hard on to remove the donut holes.. Fast, faster..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Another reason Im ashamed to say I live in Cincinnati. Dear lord!
did they ever catch him joe? As someone who also loves crime library, a peeping tom that would let his victims know they are there is just a small step away from assaulting someone.
I sooo am not sleeping tonight.
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
I just don't get the "shove something up my ass" thing.
I just can't. Sorry.
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“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton
I thought that was how gay dudes had phone sex. Was it at least set on "vibrate"?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by oklahoma on June 24, 2008 - 3:13pm.
ha!
I just kept thinking about big round folds of sweaty dimpled flesh, clamy to the touch, perched over a toilet that is a tad too small, just hovering as the person tries not to touch the toilet seat.
As the ass gets closer to the toilet camera, you see more acne then dimples. A normal person would gag, but the camera toilet guy gets a trouser chubby and goes to MAKE YOUR COFFEE!
RACHEL RAE TIMES!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Can you hear me now?
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I'm doing a paper on solicitor/client privilege. And it's actually very interesting.
Also, My MIL was a nurse, and said that people would stick light bulbs up their ass. That is what I don't understand.. Like this is something that breaks easily, and will cut the shit, shit SHIT out of you. but hey, it Felt goooood at the time??
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by pompom on June 24, 2008 - 2:48pm.
Do the police automatically search one's ass? Why would it occur to them to search his ass for a phone?
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When you are arrested as soon as they get your ass to the jail, you are strip searched, all orafices checked for "goods".
So, yes, it is normal.
LoLo.. No shit! All fat asses, and people shitting like they just ate a bunch of mexican food.. I guess that dude was a chubby chaser..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
You people are acting like this isnt normal!
Prudes!
So i saw this story of a man who put a camera inside a DUNKIN DONUTS bathroom.
I mean think about the quality of ass that actually uses a Dunkin Donuts bathroom in the first place!
NAS-TAY!
I mean i would almost excuse it if it was a bathroom in a nicer place, like um, hmmmmm maybe a four star excusive spot.... but dunkin donut ass?
I use to ride the f line and would see a bum on thee who I KNOW use to pee ON the Dunkins on Houston and Clinton. He would have showed the camera dude his warty wang wang for free!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Submitted by pompom on June 24, 2008 - 2:48pm.
Do the police automatically search one's ass? Why would it occur to them to search his ass for a phone?
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Maybe the phone rang whilst snuggly lodged up there. "Uh, no officer, my ass is not ringing. I just had Taco Bell for lunch!"
I agree joe....you know Dreamboat has done some ass smuggling...
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“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton
Submitted by LASHONCARTER on June 24, 2008 - 2:56pm
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You know it seems perfectly appropriate to me that Dreamboat Doherty be mentioned in any post that involves things being shoved up your ass. There's just a natural segue there.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Qe9ONRpoQ
DAME WHAT ELSE DID THEY FIND,OLD CUM,DIME BAG OF COKE,WONKEYS LOST DOG,AND DREAMBOAT U KNOW HOW HE LOSSES HIS WAY
THIS IS MY WORLD YALL HOS JUST LIVE IN IT
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/BUNNY420
Submitted by Clarisse on June 24, 2008 - 2:51pm
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WHAAAAAA! Stop it!! Hahahahaha. That guy really freaked me out. *cowering under my desk*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Qe9ONRpoQ
Clarisse, My hub will be gone until after dark. I'll be hearing shit outside my window's too. But I have 3 house dogs, whom will prob all turn into pussies in the event of a break-in.
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Submitted by pompom on June 24, 2008 - 2:48pm.
Do the police automatically search one's ass?
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Yes, they do. Kathy Hilton never even realized that she was having Paris until a full rectal exam found her.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
I'm also a Crime Library fan!
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
~George Carlin. RIP George.
Submitted by oklahoma on June 24, 2008 - 2:48pm.
*scratches on JoeShmoe's window*
*runs off*
BWHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Oh god! that you for making that creepy ass story funny!!!
(Even so, i know i'm going to hear scratcing on the window all night! thanks Joe!)
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Run! It's the clergy!
yes clarisse, those things too.
but peeping also pops up often in those stories.
its not something to take lightly, imo.
Clarisse.. OMG that is brilliant (flashlight).. Like that one Lifetime movie where the neighbor man had cameras all thru the house, and he was like the school helper. Like the new family moved in. They found cameras in the bathroom, bedroom. Eeeek! My husband would absolutely murder someone doing that shit.
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
hey joe! I know, about the coke can.....what a talent, eh?
I had a peeping Tom in my neighborhood...my next door neighbor caught him one day, and the man dropped his car keys hen he ran, so my neighbor threw them in the sewer....lol
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“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton
*scratches on JoeShmoe's window*
*runs off*
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Do the police automatically search one's ass? Why would it occur to them to search his ass for a phone? That is the last place I would think to look. Is the arse a common hiding place among the criminal populace? Perplexed....
Devore,
I love Crime Library!!
Anyhoo, i thought peeping was serial rapists and animal abuse was serial killers?
Whatev, as Bradi said, at 41, you know this ain't the first time this perv has hit!
Okie,
I don't turn the light on when i use any restroom outside my house! I have little pocket flashlight the size of a quarter that i use to see. If they are tapin, all they are getting is a light show!! What?? I watch Lifetime!
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Run! It's the clergy!
Joe!! ♥♥ Have you warmed up yet? And ewww, creepy is as creepy does.
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Sláinte duine a ól.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on June 24, 2008 - 2:45pm
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Hahahahaha
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Qe9ONRpoQ
Oh He looks like DannieLynn's daddy.. uh, ANS's baby daddy? Creepy freak.. I'm all nervous now. I'll never pee again except for at my house! And in my car seat.. lol
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
IG!! Hi!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Qe9ONRpoQ
Can you hear me now?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Peeping Toms are very unnerving. We had one in our neighbourhood when I was a teenager. He would creep around outside ground floor windows of bedrooms and scratch lightly on the screen or whistle softly, after he'd copped an eyeful of course. The he'd run off. C-R-E-E-P-Y
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Qe9ONRpoQ
I'm fairly certain he's been shoving things up his snotter too.
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Sláinte duine a ól.
For a straight guy, that must have been quite a stretch. ;)
Devore on June 24, 2008 - 2:41pm.
many serial murderers began their "careers" peeping- read some of the entries on the crime library.
- At 41 he's a late bloomer.
Seriously though, this was the FIRST time he got caught, how many times wasn't he?
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
JoeShmoe,, I almost died when I read that that person had a Net feed set up for a YEAR? WTF? Like ewww, I bet he ran in there after hours and smelled the toilet paper or something.. What a freak! I hope he got beat up or killed, That is not right!!!!
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Dahmer anyone?
Submitted by oklahoma on June 24, 2008 - 2:39pm
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Me too!!! I always do a full sweep of restrooms or changing rooms. Totally paranoid.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Qe9ONRpoQ
many serial murderers began their "careers" peeping- read some of the entries on the crime library.
Clarisse..LOL.. No lie! We'd make billions if only we could think of some way to post or mail pictures of naked people.. *scratches pubes* It just isn't clicking..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
If it was an iPhone -- double ouch. Or one of those 80s style cellphones with the big batteries that look like a backpack!