Thursday, June 19th 2008
Attack Of The Bitch Ass Thong
I'm sure you've already heard the story of the woman who was denied the sexy by one of her Victoria's Secret thongs. The woman was on "Today" this morning where she explained her traumatic experience. You see, when she went to put the thong on to get her sexy on, the metal part slapped her in the eye. She had to go to the hospital and everything. Don't laugh. She almost DIED!!!!
Of course, the chick is suing VS and wants C-A-S-H.
I can't wait for this fucking trial. The grouchy thong must be vindicated! It will take the stand and say, "Your honor. I had no choice but to slap that nasty bitch! She kept putting her panty pudding all over me. It was self-defense!"
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I know what Victoria's Secret is: How to make people overpay for crap-ass merchandise by using good looking models and lots of photoshop.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by M.E. on June 19, 2008 - 2:37pm.
Why the fuck were her underwear in her face?
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HAHAHA...I was thinking the same thing. You know exactly what this bitch was doing when she got popped in the eye: She was holding that thong between her hands and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g the ever-livin' fuck out of that thong and saying, "Maybe....maybe if I just streeeeeetch it out a litttttle mo... POP!!"
Jeeezus, just the thought of it and I am sitting at my desk laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes.
She should have hired Alexyss K. Tylor as her attorney.
Alexyss would have labeled this shit "A thong that went and done yo vagina WRONG!"
I can see them on Larry King right now.
<3-------------------------------<3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOv-2HzNPaA
Por favor, mantenerse al lado de las puertas.
LCT,
HERE HERE!!! Let's start a movement.
M.E.,
Take it off and look at the tag!
*stock broker runs to ME's window*
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“Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print!
Mel-Tang
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Sue all of them. :)
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Yeah! Fuckin' A!
I am gonna sue the pants off of all of them bastards!!!
Sensi here is one of them. I'll have to get back to you on the one I have at home. I can't remember which one it is.
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namesp...
She has brain damage from being donkey-punched one time too many. I bet her pimp made her sue.
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 19, 2008 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by mike on June 19, 2008 - 8:39pm.
Mike, are you Canadian? Because if you are, that would make you perfect.
Nope, native North Carolinian (but you'd never guess it).
Men don't fondle their women's boobies enough.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
sensi - Uhm, fuck....I am not wearing it today and I can't remember which one it is.
Let me see if I can find it on their site.
Submitted by cycloneb on June 19, 2008 - 1:57pm
LMAO
Sue all of them. :)
<3-------------------------------<3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOv-2HzNPaA
Por favor, mantenerse al lado de las puertas.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on June 19, 2008 - 2:53pm.
My guess is that she was lying down on the bed, legs in the air, trying to get that sucker over her fat knees. Ping! that's how it got her eye
BWAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
How wipped is that husband that he didnt prevent her from making this shit public.
He needed to have sat her lovely round ass down and said, "Baby, lets tak about you, extra cheese, deep fried goodness, and going up a size in yo draws!"
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
This ho had no business buying victoria secret's anything in the first place. Team Thong.
Are you fucking kidding me, this fat bitch just doesn't want to work anymore..fucking lazy cunt wasting our tax dollars in court!! I would counter sue this fuck for being a fucking idiot who bought underwear to small for her fat ASS!!!
Once upon a time ago,
I accidently tripped over whilst trying to put my big girl undies on and I smashed my head into a brick wall, sustaining permanent brain damage... ":?
Do I sue the company who made the knickers?
OR
Do I sue the company who made the bricks?
OR
Do I sue my parents for making me soooooo pathetic???
dohhhhhh
*anxiously watching for escaping funbags*
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
So is she going to do a re-enactment in the courtroom? She better, because I'm still trying to figure out how that could have happened.
I can sense another crazy warning label coming like "keep small metal parts away from eyes". What?
She wouldn't give up the "defective" thong to VS for them to inspect?
We have a WAR going on for cripe sake-----let's play this video for our troops and see how this crazy woman's thong-related 'injury' measures up. It's no wonder other countries hate Americans so much. I wish Meredith would've given her a "Bitch, PLEASE" and cut her and her ambulance-chasing attorney off the air.
ME -
You can sling your DD's into VS bras and not have to adjust the titties all day? WHICH BRA? I'd love to know. My funbags are always trying to escape from VS bras because even the DD's are padded to the hilt!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
"I'd rather have lots of breastmilk than a million melons!"
Unfortuntely, VS will probably settle to make it go away. Then, she can buy more thongs.
Hi Clarisse... I only know that because Miso-horny mentioned it here one night. Yet another reason why DListed is so edifying!
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Sláinte duine a ól.
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 19, 2008 - 2:34pm.
Another example of the media focusing on bizarre-sounding lawsuits so that they can make all lawsuits against corporations seem frivolous, so that an increasingly cynical public will agree to legislation limiting the individual's right to sue - "tort reform" that only helps corporate interests.
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Couldn't have said it better myself.
@Euphoria- Yeah, maybe we can get a class action suit going. Flying balls can be dangerous, especially when they become blue!
Submitted by LoLo on June 19, 2008 - 2:52pm.
ha ha WHEN BACK FAT FIGHTS BACK!
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Hahahahaha oh gross. That just gave me the more horrible mental picture ever.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
My guess is that she was lying down on the bed, legs in the air, trying to get that sucker over her fat knees. Ping! that's how it got her eye.
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
If you want to see women in clothes that have been severely overstretched, go to Sturgis, SD in August for the biker show. I didn't know that fabric could stretch that much.
Islandgirl!
That shit is true. Those Japanese have crazy shit in their vending machines!!!
Batteries, Beer & Sake, Compact Discs, Eggs, Hot Cup Noodles, Fortunes, Hot Meals, Milk, Porn, Sex Toys, Toilet Paper, Umbrellas…
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“Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print!
She should have tried putting the thong on feet first instead of head first.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by M.E. on June 19, 2008 - 2:49pm.
And excuse me, but the "defective" decorative item is on the BACK of that thong. How the FUCK does that pop off and cut your GD eyes?
ha ha WHEN BACK FAT FIGHTS BACK!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Submitted by M.E. on June 19, 2008 - 2:41pm.
Same here.
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"Paris Hilton is like a bowling ball: she's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter." - von3248 (1/12/08)
She's 52. I don't think she wore the right choice when it came to being on TV. Did they say what size the thong was?
Did she give up wearing a bra in protest? Those chichis need to be lifted and separated, Mercreda!
Best tag line ever.
Submitted by mike on June 19, 2008 - 8:39pm.
Mike, are you Canadian? Because if you are, that would make you perfect.
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"They're just different types of shit, Charlie is the smooth easy type, Denise is the kind that breaks off halfway through and no matter how much you wipe, you just can't get her off your ass." - Team Valtrex
Bitch is lying. She can't even look into the camera, she looks down when trying to explain the situation.
And excuse me, but the "defective" decorative item is on the BACK of that thong. How the FUCK does that pop off and cut your GD eyes?
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 19, 2008 - 2:34pm.
Another example of the media focusing on bizarre-sounding lawsuits so that they can make all lawsuits against corporations seem frivolous, so that an increasingly cynical public will agree to legislation limiting the individual's right to sue - "tort reform" that only helps corporate interests.
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Yes!! Thank you. I love you.
just kidding but seriously
Submitted by devilgirl on June 19, 2008 - 2:45pm.
And those big blue balls that cut down on dryer time gave my husband blue balls...should we sue? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! ☺
just by looking at her, she was maybe trying to squeeze into a medium when she should have had a large.. it can only be stretched so much!
Ok, let's point out the obvious, THAT WOMAN SHOULD NOT BE WEARING THONGS.
EW.
Seriously, you're suing a panty company because your rolls are getting in the way of getting them on/taking them off properly?
This is almost as bad as fat people suing McDonald's for making them fat.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Yeah, those pearls around your neck make you look so elegant and cultured, lady, and so believable. I bet your IQ is lower than your ass size.
Well hell, maybe I should go ahead and sue Downey for their hazardous Downey Ball fabric softer dispenser. I sustained a horrible black eye from pulling the stopper out of the ball. The plastic ball part flew back and hit me right in the eye. People swore I made the story up so as to deflect suspicion off of my boyfriend for doing it. But truthfully, it was the Downey Ball that blackened my eye. I see I missed my chance at easy money!
Thats like taking my chair to court for busting under my big ole hermaphrodite ass!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
I think the settlement should come directly out of Gisele's pocket.
LisaMarie
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Apparently?
With not only a "weight limit"...but they also need to have a dirty great fucking warning sign, with flashing lights >>> "Enter at your own risk!!!"
grrrrrrrr Fucking stupid whinging, money grubbin' fat arse whore!
I would be too embarrassed to admit that shit. It would just turn into one of those "sucks now, but we'll laugh at it later" moments. And also I can admit that my ass is too sizely to squeeze into a thong.
oh god too funny, I loved how she huffed and puffed when Meredith told her that some people might roll their eyes. I was waiting for her to be like UH OH OOOO NO SHE DIDN'T! Oh and I'm so sure this law suit is all about safety? PULEASE.
What next? Fruit of the Loom gets sued because some bitch nearly choked to death from trying to eat it because it had the word "Fruit" on the label? Sweet Lawd!
What a LOSER! You know her fat ass stretched that thong beyond its limits.
As much as I HATE paying $45 for a GD bra, VS bra's are the only ones I can wear. The only one's that fit my floppy ass DD's where I don't have to constantly adjust myself all day.
Thongs are thongs. Why pay VS high prices when you can get them cheaper anywhere else.