Thursday, June 19th 2008
Attack Of The Bitch Ass Thong
I'm sure you've already heard the story of the woman who was denied the sexy by one of her Victoria's Secret thongs. The woman was on "Today" this morning where she explained her traumatic experience. You see, when she went to put the thong on to get her sexy on, the metal part slapped her in the eye. She had to go to the hospital and everything. Don't laugh. She almost DIED!!!!
Of course, the chick is suing VS and wants C-A-S-H.
I can't wait for this fucking trial. The grouchy thong must be vindicated! It will take the stand and say, "Your honor. I had no choice but to slap that nasty bitch! She kept putting her panty pudding all over me. It was self-defense!"
oohhh i hate bitch so hw i like this one
Celebrities and Animals Don't Mix
My unwaxed nads just got caught in the Velcro to my boxers. Not sure if I've got a case?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't find (Beckham) sexy, but I think he's a grower, like most guys. (Dlister, 6/18/08)
Hilarious. That is such bs, her lawyer sounds like an idiot and so does this woman, if you can't put on a thong w/o sustaining injury you're a moron, and isn't the detail or whatever supposedly hit her in the back or the side, how the hell did that hit her eye?
cut to three seconds after that interview, Meredith Vieira screaming to producers...
"I didn't sign on for this bullshit! I should get MY lawyers!"
www.myspace.com/triston
Waiiiit a sec, this lady waited a year? Suspicion ensues.
Migraineuse, excellent point about the media and corporations.
Mahaatma, you be a female? Much respect! =)
■I'll tell you what he said...he asked me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus!-Donnie Darko
■Submitted by britscomingback: YOU CAN'T STOP HER BOOT CLAP WITH A BUTT SLAP!
I used to have a few thongs with claps on the side.i think i am special coz i am a girl
in uniform....
iam just here wanna know some guys who respect girls in uniform. u can check out here -"WealthyDater.com-- find me catch me!
i am waiting...
o.m.g. immediately excruciating pain?? make her whole again?? treatment was not 'just' ointment but 'topical steroid'. boohoo. much pain, missed work?? for something that just needed ointment??? she didn't even have any surgeries & she wants 25k++?? ridiculous. she should get something for the defective undies & the visit to the doc & ointment, but not 25k++. you could tell when she started lying because she looked down as her nose started growing, that's criminal psych 101. geesh.
---------------------------------------------------
http://www.myspace.com/naervana
Submitted by von3248 on June 20, 2008 - 9:02am.
I'm kind of sorry for pointing this out, though, because people were riffing on the subject and some of what they said was pretty funny.
On the other hand, tort deform is one of my major pet peeves.
*______________________________________*
"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 19, 2008 - 8:53pm.
_______________________________________
Nah. You've been fooled by the media into thinking that everybody is running around filing frivolous lawsuits and winning millions of dollars. That's not the truth.
The media is corporate owned.
Corporations would like to be able to sell any defective product they want and get away with it. They don't want to be sued. So they want to discredit anyone who wants to sue them in advance.
So they make sure that there's always some outrageous-seeming lawsuit story circulating, to piss people off and make them think that we need to stop people from filing lawsuits at all.
The indoctrination has worked so well that you really think passing some law against filing lawsuits is all YOUR idea.
You've been played, my friends.
*______________________________________*
Truth. You tell the truth.
*************************************************
"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
Lawyer: "The undergarment was defective in both its design and manufacture." Yeah, that's what law school does to you: you lose the ability to speak English.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't find (Beckham) sexy, but I think he's a grower, like most guys. (Dlister, 6/18/08)
"Killer Thongs"! Are YOU at risk, news at eleven.
---------------------------------------
She shouldn't be allowed to wear a thong anyway!
My unwaxed nads just got caught in the Velcro to my boxers. Not sure if I've got a case?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't find (Beckham) sexy, but I think he's a grower, like most guys. (Dlister, 6/18/08)
If she can't safely operate underwear, who the hell trusted her with the phone she used to call Jacoby & Meyers?
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on June 19, 2008 - 9:58pm.
ITA-- Undue influence and peer pressure. Plus, when you play it backwards, it says, "of course you can fit in one, of course you can fit in one"
************************************
"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
I think she should also sue Sisqo, just for that crappy thong song.
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
If you are unable to put on a thong without injuring yourself, you probably shouldn't be out without a minder.
************************************
"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Try buying a thong that's not too small for your dumb-ass, moron.
****************************************************************************************************
"My, my the clock in the sky is pounding away
There's so much to say..."
When Thongs Attack!! Fox Special!!
hell, I can't blame 'em. I bet it's hard out there for a thong. You KNOW some fat greasy skank bitch is trying to squeeze her fat ass into one right now. Her fat ass should rightfully be slapped for that nonsense
BTW, maybe it's thongs attacking the people in The Happening...LOL now that would be a funny movie. Much better than *spoiler*
.....plants
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hot damn, ho, here we go again.
Of all the ridiculous things!
This is why the court systems in the USA are in a perpetual state of disarray.
Mr. Stockbroker,
you have a good taste, most impressive.
************************************************
Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Of all the ridiculous things!
This is why the court systems in the USA are in a perpetual state of disarray.
************************************************
Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Submitted by missy on June 19, 2008 - 3:48pm.
NYC lady - absolutely! I personally think there should be laws set up to prevent frivolous lawsuits... think of the billions of tax-payer dollars that go to processing these types of suits in our courts.
_______________________________________
Nah. You've been fooled by the media into thinking that everybody is running around filing frivolous lawsuits and winning millions of dollars. That's not the truth.
The media is corporate owned.
Corporations would like to be able to sell any defective product they want and get away with it. They don't want to be sued. So they want to discredit anyone who wants to sue them in advance.
So they make sure that there's always some outrageous-seeming lawsuit story circulating, to piss people off and make them think that we need to stop people from filing lawsuits at all.
The indoctrination has worked so well that you really think passing some law against filing lawsuits is all YOUR idea.
You've been played, my friends.
*______________________________________*
"They're just different types of shit, Charlie is the smooth easy type, Denise is the kind that breaks off halfway through and no matter how much you wipe, you just can't get her off your ass." - Team Valtrex
Submitted by Stock Broker on June 19, 2008 - 11:45pm.
Victoria Secret is crap for hookers.
I shop La Perla when I need to impress a woman with lingerie. And it works.
_______________________________________
Yes, I will go out with you, thank you for asking.
*______________________________________*
"They're just different types of shit, Charlie is the smooth easy type, Denise is the kind that breaks off halfway through and no matter how much you wipe, you just can't get her off your ass." - Team Valtrex
Submitted by Mejinn on June 19, 2008 - 4:38pm.
I think the thong should counter-sue for cruel and unusual punishment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?
I was hoping she would hold them up, can you see Mr. Mouthpeice saying, as you can see these are designed to stretch. While they look miniscule they are actually the correct size for my client. She is in fact a size 2.
I think the thong should counter-sue for cruel and unusual punishment.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on June 19, 2008 - 3:34pm.
I stopped buying VS crap years ago....it falls apart, and the bras gent dents in them when you wash them.....nice smooth look under a t-shirt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Their cotton underwear rocks but the bras, oy, from hunger. They mangled my boobs sumpin' fierce.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Hold it. Hooolllddd it. Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
Nothing Ralph, Carlos is just teaching us the mambo.
I stopped buying VS crap years ago....it falls apart, and the bras gent dents in them when you wash them.....nice smooth look under a t-shirt.
StockBroker, I need some new stuff. Feel like "impressing" me? UPS or USPS is fine.....
**************************************************
“I thought I knew you, I got a new view; I thought I knew you well...."
-No Doubt "Sunday Morning"
Submitted by Stock Broker on June 19, 2008 - 2:45pm.
I shop La Perla when I need to impress a woman with lingerie. And it works.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And he likes to try it on first.
I kid, I kid!♥
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Hold it. Hooolllddd it. Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
Nothing Ralph, Carlos is just teaching us the mambo.
@Stock Broker- You are my kind of man. Shows you have good taste and some class, in addition to knowing what will impress a woman!
Victoria Secret is crap for hookers.
I shop La Perla when I need to impress a woman with lingerie. And it works.
Submitted by cycloneb on June 19, 2008 - 5:06pm.
``````````````````````````````
....Yay!!!....of course, as my attorney you'll be getting the 46 million and I'll get the .9 ....and of course I'll give my portion to charity....
...a job well done, counselor!....
...how perfect of MK to have an ass-eating thong in the ad right next to the thread...
...whoever invented the thong should be shot in the head for the pain they cause.....and given a big kiss for making our panty lines disappear while our men are drooling...
...I swear if Mr. M sees me in a thong he goes ape shit and jumps my bones....just because of that damn thong!....WTF?....
mahaatma
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Good news for you!
We finally settled with the undies for a nice $46.9 million.
(They expect you to sign a gag order)
anyways...enjoy!!!
Cheers ":)
mahaatma on June 20, 2008 - 6:50am.
...cycloneb got me 2.2 million dollars!....you know the story!....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Yeah Matey!
I know the story...and the 2.2 million offer? That's just the pooh talkin!
We reject that offer...we can do better than that! Just gotta stay firm mahaatma, hold out and make those undie's sweat!!!
Well, my ass is eating my thong today. Can I sue myself?
Submitted by cycloneb on June 19, 2008 - 4:47pm.
```````````````````````````
...cycloneb got me 2.2 million dollars!....you know the story!....
mahaatma on June 20, 2008 - 6:41am.
....signed, Mahaatma K. Dixenbawlz
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Excellent!
Let the records show that the documents have been signed in a timely manner.
Now remember Mahaatma K. Dixenbawlz...you are not allowed to discuss this case with anyone, without me being present!!!
*shakes your hand*
*races off to file Court Documents*
A local radio personality suggested the thong may have only been trying to defend itself.
Mrs.Kravitz,
Pudge is smarter than your average bear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print!
Submitted by cycloneb on June 19, 2008 - 4:32pm.
`````````````````````````````````
....signed, Mahaatma K. Dixenbawlz
Submitted by Kandykane on June 19, 2008 - 4:26pm.
``````````````````````````````````````
...I think you're right....trying to shove a size 18 ass into a size 5 thong is a crime in itself...innocent people could have been killed!....Victoria's Secret needs to counter-sue this fatty boom-bah...
mahaatma on June 20, 2008 - 5:43am.
--------------------------------------------------
...LMAO!....and the shit-eating grin on my face....priceless!....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well...ummmmm....errrrrr....yes....
YOU do have a very nice grin there, however, mahaatma...WE must concentrate now...concentrate...SNAP INTO IT mahaatma!!! *shake* *shake* *gives mahaatma a good right hook*
>>>
Okkkkkkk....
You have been the victim of a vicious "sexual assault" by your undies!
We shall not rest until you have been fully compensated for the pain, suffering and grief you have gone through!!!
$3,050,000,000 - My Fee = $50,000,000 (yours)
However, I am under an obligation to advise you that you may need to seek independant "therapy" at your own expense to assist you in over coming the trauma of the events you have experienced.
blah blah blah....
___________________ Plaintiff signature
mahaatma
Deep lacerations to her cornea? Uhm, that shit must have snapped at atomic force.
She'd better have those medical records for that hospital visit ready. Cuz I'm calling BULLSHIT!
I think her ass was just too fat and the fucking thong stretched beyond capacity and snapped. That's what I think. As a member of the jury, this moocher would have to prove otherwise.
Submitted by KD on June 19, 2008 - 3:39pm.
That attourney sure is a windbag. Reminds me of a politician, dancing around the questions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I definitely got a whiff of matchbox cover law school from him
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Hold it. Hooolllddd it. Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
Nothing Ralph, Carlos is just teaching us the mambo.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 19, 2008 - 3:01pm.
Men don't fondle their women's boobies enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whatever, LCT. Pudge can't keep his grubby paws off of mine!
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Hold it. Hooolllddd it. Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
Nothing Ralph, Carlos is just teaching us the mambo.
Submitted by KD on June 19, 2008 - 3:39pm.
That attourney sure is a windbag. Reminds me of a politician, dancing around the questions.
***********
An attorney that's a windbag??? Surely you jest?
**********
Le petit chat~Emile Debraux
Submitted by mahaatma on June 19, 2008 - 3:14pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on June 19, 2008 - 4:00pm.
``````````````````````````````````````
...hi joe!....nice to see you too!....damn life is cutting down on my Dlist duties....I'm way behind on my ass-ripping and finger-pointing!....
**
hahahhahahaaa!! me too m
sucks when life stands in the way of snark
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by mike on June 19, 2008 - 12:03pm.
Nope, native North Carolinian (but you'd never guess it).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2008 BEST CITIES
No. 2: Raleigh, N.C.
http://www.kiplinger.com/features/archives/2008/05/2008-best-city-raleig...
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Hold it. Hooolllddd it. Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
Nothing Ralph, Carlos is just teaching us the mambo.
LCT,
*clears throat*
Dear Senator (Insert Name),
I am writing you in hopes that you support
the upcoming Mandatory Mammary Attention Act (MMAA).
For centuries men have ignored the woman's need to have her boobage caressed, kissed, motorboat'd etc...ect. It's time for a change. It's time for some action!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print!