Shanna Moakler is having a divorce party in celebration of, you guessed it, her divorce to Travis Barker. He shot off about this new situation on his MySpace:

SOMEBODY SENT A MESSAGE AND A FLYER WAS ATTATCHED (I POSTED IT BELOW). SHANNA IS HAVING A DIVORCE PARTY FOR HERSELF IN CELEBRATION OF OUR FAILED MARRIAGE APPARENTLY….. THIS IS THE SAME WIFE THAT EMAILED ME TO TELL ME SHE WOULD BE SLEEPING WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND IN MY BED THE DAY OF OUR ANNIVERSARY 2 DAYS AGO SO THIS DOESN’T COME AS A SHOCK. AND THE SAME PERSON WHO IS MAKING "I LOVE SHANNA" SHIRTS FOR PEOPLE TO BUY, IN SUPPORT OF ALL THIS AND PLAYING THE VICTIM, IT SADDENS ME PEOPLE AND EVEN BRINGS ON THE URGE TO PUKE, HOPE IT DOES YOU AS WELL. IM GONNA SAY A LONG PRAYER FOR HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THERE ISN’T A PART OF SHANNA AND I AND THE FACT OUR MARRIAGE FAILED THAT I COULD BE CELEBRATING OR HAPPY ABOUT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME IT WAS OUR FAMILY…IT WAS ALL WE HAD……I MEAN A PARTY??? WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER:) GOODNIGHT AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH U….STAR WARS IS ON AND THIS IS NOW IN THE PAST. HOPE SHANNA’S PARTY IS EVERYTHING SHE COULD HOPE 4.

What is wrong with these people? First of all, he needs to stop with the caps. It gives me a headache. Second of all, I'm not hating on her, because I would probably have a party too. He needs to chill. Also, why is he surprised? She's a dirty ho through and through and that's why I love her.

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Awesome! I love Britney Spears. She almost fooled me in this disguise at KFed's glum Halloween performance in West Hollywood. What do you think she's going as? I'm guessing Natalie Portman from Closer. Right?

She was nowhere to be seen when KFed receieved a mountain of boos, but she was at the after party. Hotness.

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Pete Doherty was in the hospital for two hours on Tuesday. Surprisingly, bitch didn’t OD. He was in the hospital, because he got Kate Moss’ ring stuck on his finger. They were fooling around at her London home when it got stuck and he had to be taken to the ER. Nurses used clippers to remove the ring.

A friend said, "Pete found it embarrassing -- and Kate found it hilarious."

I can see it now. The two were probably high as a kite taking turn doing rails when they thought it would be funny to fool around with her ring. I’m guessing that it wasn’t his finger, I’m guessing it was his prick it got stuck on. His pores spew out grease on the minute, so I'm surprised he couldn't just split it right off. These crackheads love to crack themselves up.

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Why is the media obsessed with this whole Madonna buying a baby thing?! I mean can't a homegirl buy an African baby in peace?! Jesus! Well, the latest story to hit the papers attacks David Banda's father. Here's the headline in the Daily Mail:

Madonna baby's father dumped him to run off with a new woman

Who cares?! Anyway, the article goes on to say that David's father wanted to be with some chick in another village so he dumped his son in an orphanage to be with his new woman. Ugh. Madonna isn't helping things by talking about it, STILL. She said that David's father hardly visited him.

"If someone had said to me, "His dad comes every week or his granny visits on a regular basis and he's well looked after," I would not even have given it another thought."

She wonders why people are still talking about it? Maybe, because she is. She should honestly just stop talking and it will go away. I'm over it.

Tyra Banks dressed as a fugly dude for the Halloween edition of her lame-ass talk show. She joined Chingy in performance. The two have been romantically linked and no doubt that they went home in costume and she did him in the ass. On the honest, she makes a totally passable dude. I'd hit it.

The sign on the ATM should read, “Please do not deposit envelopes, money or ANYTHING with folds into this machine.” - Whisper Runner-up:

Lurleen was so poor, she had to go to the ATM to get a nekkid video took of herself. - Lurleen

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This little diddy is presented to you by Ali Lohan, sister of Blohan. I guess she put out some kind of Christmas album which is in stores now. The piece of awful music I'm providing you with is called "Lohan Holiday" and is sung by Ali with background vocals by Blohan. I'm not sure what a Lohan holiday is, but I'm sure it involves doing lines off of each other's firecrotches while crying about how their lives are a complete waste. Then they totally crank call Paris Hilton while smoking crack from broken light bulbs. Ahhh...I love the holidays!

Thx Nick

Earlier I wrote about how Patrick Dempsey's first wife, Rochelle, once claimed he beat her ass. Many of you asked what Patrick Dempsey's the hell she looked like and here she is! This is when he was 21 and she was like 80. Love the Kirk Cameron hair.

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