Ed McMahon: Thanks For The Suggestions!
I want to thank all five of you that sent suggestions yesterday on how to save Ed McMahon's crumbling pepaw kingdom! Here's just some of your ingenious ideas:
Well, how about instead of a kissing booth, we set up a Dlisted blow job booth? Where else would you find such a large gathering of total whores? We could raise enough cash to pay off Ed's mortgage. - DDI figured out a way to get Ed McMahon out of debt. Get your favorite nut job Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out to help Ed spruce up his place and get it sold! Could you imagine? Ziola and Ed McMahon on one tv screen. I would die! - Brooke
Okay well maybe Ed can sell his old papaw sperm? Or maybe Werthers originals could let him come out with his own flavor?? - Stacey
Idea: Pepaw McMachon Garage Sale ala Tori Spelling.... if that fug can have one why not Ed? - Rosa
Open up a man hole in front of Mr. Chows and let him fall in. Problem solved. - Holly
Holly, Ed McMahon is not amused by your suggestion. Ed went on Larry King last night to discuss his situation. Outside the studios, he told The Insider, "We're very optimistic that we're going to work this thing out. There's a lot of people [who] have problems and I'm hoping that this will help them help themselves. That's what my plan is."
Ed's manager told Page Six that he thinks booze is to blame. Isn't it always? Johnny Podell said, "You drink and you don't pay attention to your business affairs. He wasn't paying attention and probably got some bad advice. I'm hoping America will rally around him and somebody will have a great idea to make him a spokesman."
Ed needs to lay off those Gin Rickeys. The bartenders need to give him lime spritzers with artificial gin flavors instead. He won't know the difference!
Fuck him and his sleaze bag friend dick clark.
LCT: We can share him, maybe every other weekend or something.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
They have to read a book to learn what to do
How about I send him 1,000 Publisher Sweepstake entry postcards that falls out of my magazines and mailbox. There's a guaranteed winner and no subscription required.
Mmmmmmm, who cares. Just saw this old guy's blog and photos at milllionaire dating site ---"W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.com"---- last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is seeking on that site.
I saw a clip of Ed and Holly on Larry King. Holly said something like," I never even owned a house until I married Ed."
No shit, ya don't say??
A man is not a financial plan.
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Don't call me Norman, call me Chubbsy Ubbsy.
Just have some gin & Metamucil, it'll calm your tummy right down...or so Ed sez LMAO
Thank u Izzy, it workes well so far.
Robert Englund should make like Ed McMahon and get some top teeth!
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“I have the libido of a teenage boy. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.”-MF
My question is, why the fuck is he on Larry King? Are we supposed to care this dumbass owes money? Larry King is a gotdamn joke. Paris Hilton and now a broke Ed McMahon? Bitch, please!
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -LA
It's Karma, Ed. He dumped his first wife and several kids decades ago and selfishly left them broke while he lived it up.
He can always put up a tent next to Tricia Walsh Smith...I would have loved to hear Larry ask Ed if that my be an option?
And what the hell is up with his manager?
Aw, have a heart for an old drunken pepaw. Put his ass on a reality show or some shit.
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The really morbid part about these paintings is that they're easier to look at than actual photographs of his desiccated olive loaf of a face. -- PantyChrist, 6/6/08
shizz, i didn't know he was a drunk! maybe he could sit in for paula abdul on american idol so she can have a day off!
Submitted by OXA on June 6, 2008 - 10:31am.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 6, 2008 - 10:15am.
Submitted by OXA on June 6, 2008 - 10:10am.
Just have some gin & Metamucil, it'll calm your tummy right down...or so Ed sez LMAO
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
No sympathy for this drunken geezer.
Submitted by Bo on June 6, 2008 - 10:06am.
I watched Ed and his blithering wife on Larry King last night, what a joke! The man has made millions and he has no money at the age of 85! Poor him. There are a million people losing their homes worse off than him. Get a reverse mortgage, you old nutcase
I dont think there is any equity left, he owes $4.6 million on the place. Ed is late on over 466 grand in mortgage payments, owes American Express something like 747000.00 they sued him and there was a judgment to pay them.
I think he is fucked so maybe Jerry Lewis can have a Telethon for him.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 6, 2008 - 10:15am.
Submitted by OXA on June 6, 2008 - 10:10am.
ROFL-- viagra "Heeeeeeeere's Johnson!!"
I lost me breakfast, I can handle the thought of Ed an his Polygrip but Ed on VIAGRA was too much for me.
oxa
Submitted by jgm22 on June 6, 2008 - 10:27am.
how about a finger fucking booth?
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Fingernail trim MANDITORY. Nothing like getting finger banged with an unkempt nail.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
I also blame it on alcohol. I saw a 6 pack of Miller Lite reaching for his wallet just last week, and I already fired Jack Daniels as my financial advisor.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
how about a finger fucking booth?
jgm22
Submitted by DebFrmHell on June 6, 2008 - 10:24am.
LCT, I am glad to see you getting back to...uuuhh...normal~~LMFAO
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You mean I'm stuck on this plane without a pilot? Tit's ok. I've got my pre-Jenny Craig fat pants with me. *Fwoomp*
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
LCT, I am glad to see you getting back to...uuuhh...normal~~LMFAO
***closing and locking down the cockpit door, but laughing thru the peephole***
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No comment!
Submitted by Clarisse on June 6, 2008 - 10:18am.
Kizzy,
LMFAO!!
** mental image of cane-wielding swimmers tapping on the egg **
Talking like Herbert from Family Guy "Hey in there. You like popsicles"
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BWAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
OMG!! ROFL--Too funny!!
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by NitWitty on June 6, 2008 - 9:13am.
@DebFrmHell, I could tell you, but then DD would have to kill you.
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That's right. I have my box cutter handy right now! *box cutter goes click click*
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Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system. ~P.J. O'Rourke
I saw peg leg talk! Song time!
I'm Jake the Peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my extra leg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
Wherever I go through rain and snow
The people always let me know
There's Jake the peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With his extra leg, diddle-iddle-iddle
The day that I born (oh boy) my father nearly died
He couldn't get my nappies on, how matter how he tried
'Cos I was born with an extra leg, and since that day begun
I had to learn to stand on my own three feet
Believe me that's no fun
I had a dreadful childhood really, I s'pose I shouldn't moan
Each time they had a three legged race, I won it on me own
And also I got popular, when came the time for cricket
They used to roll my trousers up
And use me for the wicket
I was a dreadful scholar, I found all the lessons hard
The only thing I knew for sure, was three feet make a yard
To count to ten I used me fingers, if I needed more
By getting my shoes and socks off
I could count to twenty four
I'm Jake the peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my extra leg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
Whatever I did they said was false
They said "quick march" I did the quick waltz
Then they shouted at me "put your best foot forward" - but which foot?
I said "it's very fine for you, you only got a choice of two"
But me, I'm Jake the Peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With the extra leg... diddle-iddle-iddle-um!
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
ImpertinentVixen,
Alright then, i'll let you and LCT fight this one out, i'm currently obsessed with Eddie.
Kizzy,
LMFAO!!
** mental image of cane-wielding swimmers tapping on the egg **
Talking like Herbert from Family Guy "Hey in there. You like popsicles"
kdracofan,
Gooood Morning!
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Run! It's the clergy!
Submitted by Sheeps
I thought I recognized a peg leg in there...rear left, red heels, black stockings and garter. Hellz to the yeah, I thought it was Heather...LOL.
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No comment!
The McMahons are talking so "regular" people who are losing their homes, don't feel so "alone"...isn;t that kind?
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“I played on the table- you held something back....if love is aces, give me the Jack"
PeePee and Ed...they'd both jump at it. It really is a queasy thought.
Submitted by OXA on June 6, 2008 - 10:10am.
ROFL-- viagra "Heeeeeeeere's Johnson!!"
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on June 6, 2008 - 10:12am.
Wait just a hot scot minute here. Neither of you can be having sexy times with Gerard Butler, because he's currently rumpling my sheets.
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But... we're supposed to get married... and I'm carrying his Spartan baby...
*tear*
Cheating bastard.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
@DebFrmHell, I could tell you, but then DD would have to kill you.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on June 6, 2008 - 7:11am.
No Heather avie. You mean the sheep in stockings? Good morning!
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"Gimme. I want it bad." "No, Jessica, don't get involved with drugs." "It's too late, sir." "Noooooo."
"Wait...Ed!...Here comes the Prize Patrol!
Oh no, it was only 'Hollywood Stupid Old Fart'
Patrol...Sorry, maybe next time."
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 6, 2008 - 10:09am.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 6, 2008 - 10:07am.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 6, 2008 - 10:02am
HABWAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
** mental image of cane-wielding swimmers tapping on the egg **
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 6, 2008 - 8:05am.
Submitted by Clarisse on June 6, 2008 - 10:03am.
LCT,
Nothing like waking up to a little Gerry! Or a big Gerry *insert porn music*
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Ooooh rrrrrrrrrawr. Bow chica bow wowwwwwwww. Fuck Cheerios, THAT'S the right way to start the day.
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Wait just a hot scot minute here. Neither of you can be having sexy times with Gerard Butler, because he's currently rumpling my sheets.
*giggles*
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
They have to read a book to learn what to do
@Sheeps, did Nitty do you a heather avie? Inquiring minds, ya know...
OT: Wow the housing crunch got Big Ed. You would think that his widow (J Carson's that is) would help him out some...
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No comment!
POSTED YESTERDAY BUT I ADDED A FEW TODAY
Submitted by OXA on June 5, 2008 - 4:44pm.
HE CAN DO A BUNCH OF COMMERCIALS SUCH AS......
DEPENDS
PREPARATION H
POLYGRIP
THE NEPTUNE SOCIETY
THE SCOOTER STORE
INCONTINENT SUPPLY DELIVERIES FOR THE HOME
FOSAMAX
FLEXI STRAWS
MOTTS APPLE SAUCE
JELLO PUDDINGS
I THINK THAT THESE SHOULD PAY OFF HIS HOUSE
FRIDAY ADDITIONS
INFOMERCIAL FOR HIGH END COFFINS
EAT AT PANDA EXPRESS INSTEAD OF MR CHOW
HAVE A GARAGE SALE, USE SOTHEBY'S OR CHRISTIES AND PAY EM A COMMISION.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 6, 2008 - 10:04am.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 6, 2008 - 10:01am.
HAHAHA! Who got the Metamucil?
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He did, of course! Poor guy had to have something to mix his gin with while awake.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on June 6, 2008 - 10:07am.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 6, 2008 - 10:02am.
All of Bob's pets have to be spayed or neutered first.
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Let's start off by making sure Bob is spayed or neutered. I would NOT be surprised if one of his little Price is Right whores announced she's knocked up by his cane-using spermies.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Good morning Clarisse :)
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 6, 2008 - 10:02am.
All of Bob's pets have to be spayed or neutered first.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
I watched Ed and his blithering wife on Larry King last night, what a joke! The man has made millions and he has no money at the age of 85! Poor him. There are a million people losing their homes worse off than him. Get a reverse mortgage, you old nutcase!
Submitted by Clarisse on June 6, 2008 - 10:03am.
LCT,
Nothing like waking up to a little Gerry! Or a big Gerry *insert porn music*
-------
Ooooh rrrrrrrrrawr. Bow chica bow wowwwwwwww. Fuck Cheerios, THAT'S the right way to start the day.
----------------------
To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 6, 2008 - 10:01am.
He had to, he lost custody of the Polident in his last divorce....
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HAHAHA! Who got the Metamucil?
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Well, how about instead of a kissing booth, we set up a Dlisted blow job booth? Where else would you find such a large gathering of total whores? We could raise enough cash to pay off Ed's mortgage. - DD
It worked in high school. And I know how much dlisters love salchicha.
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Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system. ~P.J. O'Rourke
Triscuit,
Ooooh! Well, then smoke on baby. You don't want to live that long anyway.
LCT,
Nothing like waking up to a little Gerry! Or a big Gerry *insert porn music*
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Run! It's the clergy!
Why don't he and Bon Barker shack up together? You're totally lying if you say you can't see them lounging around on their plastic covered sofas in their orthopedic slippers and fleece onesies sippin' on gin 'n prune juice.
----------------------
To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 6, 2008 - 9:54am.
Maybe the problem lies in soaking his teefs in the gin
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He had to, he lost custody of the Polident in his last divorce....
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
I know relatively little about Ed McMahon, and although he certainly seems like a decent enough guy, I have a hard time feeling REEEEALLLLLY sorry for him. Losing his home sucks, but heaven forbid he have to move out of his posh Beverly Hills gated community and have to live somewhere slightly less luxurious. It's not like he's going to wind up on the streets, like many people do. I still wish him luck though.
Careful MK, last time I let DD plot something for me it involved valium, chainsaws, digging a six foot hole and a roadtrip to Vegas. Then again, that might just work for Ed too!
Meh!?!? I want to help the nicotine additcted baby.
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THAT is Vin Diesel's baby!!!!!!!!!
(looks just like him)