Thursday, June 5th 2008
Keep Your Head Up, Ed!
Ed McMahon is in danger of losing his pepaw kingdom, but that didn't stop him from having a lovely dinner with his wifey last night. I would normally say that he should stay home and eat Top Ramen if he can't afford his mortgage payments, but he's elderly. If he wants to eat overpriced Chinese food, let him!
And why haven't any of you e-mailed ideas about how to help one of the country's most treasured pepaws? I asked for ideas! You cold-hearted bitches! You send me dolphin porn (don't ask), but not suggestions on how to save Ed's pepaw kingdom!
I'm going to ask Candy Spelling if we can rub her twatty for good luck. Well, she's magic!
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So sweet MK,
I sent you that dolphin porn months ago and you still remembered? It's like our anniversary *tear. Thanks for the pseudo-shout out, it made my day!
MK, you know nobody gives a rat's ass when the kindest comments are from the spammers...
I am thinking that they could strap his to a dolly, like in silence of the lambs and wheel him up to the Jimmy Kimmel, then he can do Chelsea Handler, Carson Daily , dr Phil, Jay leno etc.He could raki in bucks selling autographs and photo opportunities to the audience while they stand in line waiting to get in.
he and his wife should sell the house and move in with britney. he will earn his keep by watching britney learn her new songs and dance routines. he will motivate her by doing his typical butt kissing thing. in exchange for that and keeping her wigs combed and dog poop picked up they will have free rent. meanwhile his wife will get a job to help pay for food, etc. since they are moving into a smaller space they can have a terrific yard sale. ed probably has enough clothes to last him the rest of his life. problem solved. it will also give papa spears someone to talk to.
can't jay leno or conan or one the other boring late night dudes let ed be on one their shows...he could just sit there and laugh at all the corny jokes...what does that gig pay?____________________________________________
my new ringtone...hotness...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsW58hO8Mok
He should have Heidi Fleiss move in and turn it into a hooker haven.
Or have Chi Chi Larue move in and bring the boys and do live cam feeds with her gay porn stable.
He's just waiting for the courier to come with his Publisher's Clearinghouse winnings.
James: Don't worry, I have already told Ed he can room at my house. He will have to earn his keep by serving as my living garden gnome in the daytime and announcing the guests as they arrive for nighttime parties.
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Actually, I'm just the President of the Dungeons and Dragons club here in town.
James Haven has organized a car wash and a MaryKay makeover fundraiser for Ed! Ed has been James Haven's mentor for years! It was Ed who told James Haven to "Shoot for the stars, kid"!
James Haven would hate to see Ed on the streets but would hate it worse if he had to share his bedroom with Ed. Ed asked James Haven if he could move in with him, if he loses the house.
James Haven doesn't have room. James Haven sleeps on a cot in a walkin closet.
James Haven will have to let Ed sleep with him. But James Haven doesn't want Ed's stank feet in his face. So James Haven decided to organize this car wash, where, yours truly, will wash cars in his bathing suit. Then after that James Haven (for a small price) will give makeovers. It will be a long day. Wish you bitches could help out!
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Angelina Jolie and I love each other. IF that's unusual these days, that's sad.
Shit Ed you can't fuckin be broke! He is probably just trying to work a deal for a new reality show with the Lohan's!
Karma's a bitch isn't it. After selling that BS with the chance to win millions and taking poor and elderly peoples cash and dreams. Look what happens.
Casper....oh no you dinnint!
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yeah, I said it! what?
He looks so handsome .He is my favor ♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥. Yes, he is single now. I saw his profile on dating site ---"SingleParentKiss.com ----" last week. It is said he is in relationship with a young beautiful woman on that site now.
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I guess I'm never getting my $10 million dollar check, Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with all these magazines?!?
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yeah, I said it! what?
i'm sure a lot of people would forgo their save the whales or starving kids donations to help out an elderly celeb used to a posh lifestlye
Oh, wait, don't post the dolphin porn if Hayden Plantagenet might get involved.
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Borregos
Perhaps if Ed had been more grounded in his business dealings and not have had a revolving door of ex-wives, he could have avoided this mess.
Where are his children in all this?
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
he can't need that much money, cripe he is only gonna live another 8 years at most
Submitted by P.T.Bull on June 5, 2008 - 2:26pm.
That wife of his looks like a librarian who is a serial killer.
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No, I'm the librarian/serial killer
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Don't call me Norman, call me Chubbsy Ubbsy.
The first thing I would do if I were Ed McPepaw is get a massive life insurance policy. Then Id drop dead, as he is surely near to doing. Problem solved!
Not feeling the sympathy, the old coot had plenty of money. Not so much today? Too bad then he's a horrible manager of money. God only knows he's whored himself out plenty over the years.
Maybe he should move into a Del Webb retirement community in a house that doesn't cost fucking millions.
^
I saw some new privacy news in site ’’W e a l t h y L o v I n g .c o m’’. ♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥Maybe it will have heavy influence on us. Just care.
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Inside Edition was just on and they said he owes
American Express over 747000.00, they took him to court and he was orderd to pay them.
This is the only dolphin porn I could find:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-zryEEWNOk
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Actually, I'm just the President of the Dungeons and Dragons club here in town.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on June 5, 2008 - 6:19pm.
Exactamundo.
^^ I have no idea where that word came from. I apologize.
IsprainedMU, I think it came from the character "Fonzie (the Fonz)" from the sitcom "Happy Days".
:)
That dolphin porn is some really cool shit!
1) Enter Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes
2) Sue Gary Shandling over the Hank character, clearly a rip off of Ed
3) Pow wow with Screech - did Screech get is house back, btw?
4) Celebrity garage sale, a la Reinier Wolfcastle!
Submitted by Stock Broker on June 5, 2008 - 4:58pm.
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Exactamundo.
^^ I have no idea where that word came from. I apologize.
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I hate you all, your mom's a whore.
What an undignified way to live the final years of your life. That's what happens when you marry someone 31 years younger when you're a senior citizen.
They're not marrying you because you're such a great guy.
I don't feel sorry for him.
He's done a bunch of endorsement deals in the past plus working the Tonight Show.
Learn to live within your means.
POST THE DOLPHIN PORN!
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Borregos
Oxa (though yelling) is right. Ed got a settlement a couple of years back for $7 million because he had a mold infestation in his house. How many of us could live the rest of our lives on $7M? And Ed is 85. He should have put some money aside by now...perhaps it's been spent on two preceding wives.
I have to say, I don't care for the smarmy, second-banana, laugh-at-any-joke, kowtowing schtick he did for so many years, and Johnny Carson was an ass who was not that funny, treated women and most other people like shit, and read his jokes from cue cards in the most obvious way possible. I grew up with it, I'm not dissing it out of hand, I watched it for many years. It's thought of as classic, and in many ways it is, but this man is not owed anything.
He has a young wife, get her working!
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
They have to read a book to learn what to do
HOW ABOUT A "SAVE ED'S CRIB CONCERT"
KINDA LIKE A "LIVE AID" FOR OLD FARTS
TONY BENNET AND ANDY WILLIAMS CAN HEADLINE, DIONE WARRICK AND CHER SING BACKUP, KIRK DOUGLAS CAN M.C. THE EVENT WHILE DOLLY PARTON FRISKS TICKET HOLDERS.
Hmmm.....I think Conan,Letterman,Leno and any other late night host out there who owes his career to The Tonight Show should hire him for as long as it takes to make good on his payments and a little more....
That wife of his looks like a librarian who is a serial killer.
Ed looks like he's having a teebagging nightmare.
As clarisse mentioned, its good to see him holding his head high despite the setbacks.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 5, 2008 - 5:10pm.
Submitted by . on June 5, 2008 - 2:07pm.: Your mind's not going -- we just want to forget what an asshole what Johnny Carson was.
lmao
Oh Momus, you just made my sanity!
Submitted by . on June 5, 2008 - 2:07pm.: Your mind's not going -- we just want to forget what an asshole what Johnny Carson was.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 5, 2008 - 4:52pm.
Submitted by . on June 5, 2008 - 1:49pm.: Johnny is dead. He died January 23, 2005. No royalties for Ed; Johnny and NBC owned all the rights to the show.
Momus,
Ahhhhhhhhh shit. Forgot! Mind going. Mind going. Going, going, goneeeeeeeeee. :(
I HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING THAT HE IS UNABLE TO PAY HIS MORTGAGE. THE MAN HAS WORKED MULTIPLE JOBS FOR DONKEYS YEARS. HE BOUGHT THE PLACE ALMOST 20 YEARS AGO FOR A LITTLE OVER 2 MILLION, GOT SOMETHING LIKE 7.5 MILLION IN A SETTLEMENT JUST A FEW YEARS BACK, NOW OWES OVER 4 MILLON, IT MAKES NO SENSE, HE GET SOCIAL SECURITY PLUS PENSIONS FROM ACTORS UNIONS ETC AND I AM SURE A BUNCH OF OTHER PENSION DEALS.
HE MUST BE MORE ADDICTED TO DOLPHIN PORN THAN MICHAEL K.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 5, 2008 - 1:56pm.: I agree 100 percent. If Johnny had really cared about Ed then Ed would be receiving royalties from the DVDs of The Tonight Show. And, if Ed were receiving royalties he probably wouldn't be losing his home.
BTW $4.8 million for a SoCal home is cheap.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 5, 2008 - 1:52pm.
Submitted by . on June 5, 2008 - 1:49pm.: Johnny is dead. He died January 23, 2005. No royalties for Ed; Johnny and NBC owned all the rights to the show.
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Even if Johnny were around, I'll bet he wouldn't be of much help. In all the years that Ed was on The Tonight Show, Johnny never invited him to his house once. Not once.
I loved me some Johnny but he was a cold hearted bastard.
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Don't call me Norman, call me Chubbsy Ubbsy.
Laracroft: your avie's scaWy.....o and EW (about the piss smell)
Submitted by missy on June 5, 2008 - 1:43pm.: Thanks. I'm full of them today.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by . on June 5, 2008 - 1:49pm.: Johnny is dead. He died January 23, 2005. No royalties for Ed; Johnny and NBC owned all the rights to the show.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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In the main pic, Ed finally let out that fart he's been holding in for the last 20 miles.
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Where is Johnny to rescue 'is old sidekick?
Poor guy. Put your teefs back in.
OXA,
lmaOooo
HE CAN DO A BUNCH OF COMMERCIALS SUCH AS......
DEPENDS
PREPARATION H
POLYGRIP
THE NEPTUNE SOCIETY
THE SCOOTER STORE
INCONTINENT SUPPLY DELIVERIES FOR THE HOME
FOSAMAX
FLEXI STRAWS
MOTTS APPLE SAUCE
JELLO PUDDINGS
I THINK THAT THESE SHOULD PAY OFF HIS HOUSE
yeah, can you post some of that dolphin porn?
Im curious!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 5, 2008 - 3:25pm.
Suggestion: Make a tape for a microchip that announces "Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny" that plays every time the door opens to the men's room.
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I think thats a great fucking idea!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Mel-Tang on June 5, 2008 - 4:21pm.
I have an idea, MK!
He can live in Candy's gift wrapping room! I'm sure she doesn't need it now that the leeches are out of the will.
Candy could put a fab bow on his pepaw neckbrace!
I also want dolphin porn
How about people buying shit they can afford and not buying shit they cannot afford?