There's No Way This Ho Is Knocked Up
Wonky McValtrex having a baby is the final sign of the apocalypse. The Gods above would not do this to us. The world cannot end. I still haven't done the tango with Phoebe Price underneath a chicken cutlet canopy with Rojo Caliente playing the violin in the background.
Either Benji Madden has some super fatty jizz or Wonky is doing this on purpose for attention. It's probably both!