He's Driving Her Car.....
Jennifer Aniston is already dickmatized! Good dick makes you do stupid things like give up your car keys to the douche you're boning.
John Mayer was driving around in Jenny's SUV today. He ended up back at her place with an overnight bag. I bet you he didn't even fill up the gas and left a wet spot on her driver's seat! What's next? She's going to let him piss with the seat down? I must admit that pissing with the seat down is great fun because it splashes everywhere like a pretty fountain.
In other FerMan news, the two are planning on getting matching tattoos! A source said, “John had the idea that they should both have a ‘J’ tattooed in a secret place as that is both their first initial. Jennifer is really keen on the idea but is going to wait a few months. He said she’s in great shape and her skin is like a baby’s bottom."
She totally burst into tears when he said the word "baby." I guess Courtney Cox forgot to tell him that word must never be used around Jen. NEVER!
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Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 7:15pm.
LMAO @ AniMay! I told ya hors, the possibilities are endless!
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Well, thank you. I love being a hor.
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on June 4, 2008 - 4:15pm.
Stones are so not limp dick music :)
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on June 4, 2008 - 7:46pm.
That's fine-sometimes I pretend my hubby is the guy in my avi. =)
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
God be with you, dumbass.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on June 5, 2008 - 1:07am.
But this is the most worthy reason to stay off alcohol- hope everything is going well...though since I haven´t yet experienced the bliss and the more uncomfortable sides of pregnancy I probably cannot tell...
Submitted by loric on June 4, 2008 - 6:11pm.
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Okay, but I'm going to have to pretend you're the guy in your avie. ;)
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I hate you all, your mom's a whore.
LMAO @ AniMay! I told ya hors, the possibilities are endless!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 4, 2008 - 6:13pm.
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So the fact that I am listening to "Rocks Off" (Stones) would be the antithesis of limp dick music?
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We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
There is not one celebrity that I like that much. Besides, you have to be a loon to start cunting people.
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LOL. Which is exactly why I think we won't be making war here, just love! LOL.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by loric on June 4, 2008 - 4:03pm.
I also like John Mayer.
OK, let the tomato throwing and insults begin!
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OK, sweetie. Limp dick music.
That is all.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on June 4, 2008 - 6:55pm.
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 11:43pm.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on June 4, 2008 - 5:33pm.
In other FerMan news
erm...couldn't we come up with a better name for them than that?
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Word. It doesn't roll of my tongue. We should start making a name poll. What about Mayiston? Johniston? Jenyer?... come on join the fun!
*
*thinks* The names arent very mergeable are they?!lol, I vote for Mayiston!
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I'm thinking AniMay. Playing on anime. Quite the storyboard they have going on.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on June 4, 2008 - 7:39pm.
Yes, I have a thing for pregnant ladies. j/k
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
God be with you, dumbass.
Submitted by loric on June 5, 2008 - 1:03am.
There is nothing to be ashamed of.*throws rosewater infused cotton balls*
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 7:36pm.
Submitted by loric on June 4, 2008 - 6:03pm.
I know I am way in the minority here, but I actually like these two together. And I also like John Mayer.
OK, let the tomato throwing and insults begin!
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No tomato throwing here. You like them together? Great! You like Mayer? Awesome! We can all live under the same blog ceiling, unless you start cunting me left and right that is. LOL.
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There is not one celebrity that I like that much. Besides, you have to be a loon to start cunting people.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
God be with you, dumbass.
Submitted by loric on June 4, 2008 - 6:08pm.
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You hittin' on me?
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I hate you all, your mom's a whore.
@ISMU:
I'd rather have the baby, but since I can't: Keep the vodka coming, barkeep!
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We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
ubmitted by ISprainedMyUvula on June 4, 2008 - 7:35pm.
Submitted by loric on June 4, 2008 - 6:03pm.
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I'm riding your balls-out-approach coattails and admitting I like them, too.
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Jump on-it will probably just be the two of us.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
God be with you, dumbass.
Dx3- You can have my share, although I'd be drunk off my fucking ass if I wasn't pregnant right now. This has been a horrid day.
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I hate you all, your mom's a whore.
Submitted by loric on June 4, 2008 - 6:03pm.
I know I am way in the minority here, but I actually like these two together. And I also like John Mayer.
OK, let the tomato throwing and insults begin!
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No tomato throwing here. You like them together? Great! You like Mayer? Awesome! We can all live under the same blog ceiling, unless you start cunting me left and right that is. LOL.
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by loric on June 4, 2008 - 6:03pm.
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I'm riding your balls-out-approach coattails and admitting I like them, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate you all, your mom's a whore.
@ISMU:
I am glad you like. I need more vodka.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on June 4, 2008 - 5:55pm.
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 11:43pm.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on June 4, 2008 - 5:33pm.
In other FerMan news
erm...couldn't we come up with a better name for them than that?
--------------
Word. It doesn't roll of my tongue. We should start making a name poll. What about Mayiston? Johniston? Jenyer?... come on join the fun!
*
*thinks* The names arent very mergeable are they?!lol, I vote for Mayiston!
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Indeed. Those names are very hard to merge. Maybe it's a sign of the gods and that means their summer fling will last, which means more Mayer on the news... Damn, that's what nightmares are made of... *hug me*
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Douchifer?
LMAO!
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I hate you all, your mom's a whore.
I know I am way in the minority here, but I actually like these two together. And I also like John Mayer.
OK, let the tomato throwing and insults begin!
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
God be with you, dumbass.
"Douchifer"
Best couple name ever.
Dx3: LMAO!
TT99: LOL @ Dumbass and Douchebag... Oh the possibilities!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Baby you can drive my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 11:43pm.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on June 4, 2008 - 5:33pm.
In other FerMan news
erm...couldn't we come up with a better name for them than that?
--------------
Word. It doesn't roll of my tongue. We should start making a name poll. What about Mayiston? Johniston? Jenyer?... come on join the fun!
*
*thinks* The names arent very mergeable are they?!lol, I vote for Mayiston!
~*~"Me and my husband rarely get a few mommy, daddy nights out" ~ Xtina to E! on May 31st
"I eat and eat and eat and I never get any thinner" ~ Homer Simpson~*~
Rock The Vote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y0bdOqL3AI
You can never take a leak at my place.
*-Jenny-*
I would love to know who he boinked in the car before he returned.
LMAO
<3-------------------------------<3
Welcome to White Oprah's School of Puppetry.
Por favor, mantenganse allejado de las puertas.
Douchifer?
------------
Bwhahaha! I think we got a winner!
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Totally the winner.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
Regarding the asshole parking thing, I have immense fun greeting guys (most of the time middle aged bankers) with expensive cars that park directly on the parking spots reserved for women/ or women with infants whith a booming "Oh hello Missus/Madam!!!"
(we have them over here, especially in dark, subterranean parking lots, and these parking spots are close to the exit both for security and for easy acess with f.e. a stroller)
Submitted by DebFrmHell on June 4, 2008 - 3:46pm.
I sometime leave a note that reads "So far the only noticeable handicap on you is between your ears!"
tee hee
Submitted by DebFrmHell on June 4, 2008 - 3:47pm.
Look at me I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree
And I feel like I'm clinging to a cloud I can't understand
I get misty holding your hand
Walk my way and a thousand violins began to play
Or it might be the sound of your hello
This music I hear I get misty whenever you're near
You can say that you lead me on but it's just what I want you to do
Don't you notice how hopelessly I'm lost that's why I'm following you
On my own whould I wander through this wonderland alone
Never knowing my right foot from my left my hat from my glove
I'm so misty and so much in love
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
Why the "J" Why not "D" for douchebag and dumbass. They can take turns deciding which one is which.
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
@Lory:
I try. :D
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on June 4, 2008 - 3:40pm.
I ♥ vigilante justice
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
Wild thing...you make my heart sing...
You make everything
Groovy
I said wild thing...
For Mrs. K,
Wild thing, I think I love you
But I wanna know for sure
Come on, hold me tight
I love you
Wild thing...you make my heart sing...
You make everything
Groovy
I said wild thing...
Wild thing, I think you move me
But I wanna know for sure
So come on, hold me tight
You move me
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No comment!
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on June 4, 2008 - 5:46pm.
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 5:43pm.
*************************************************
Douchifer?
------------
Bwhahaha! I think we got a winner!
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
I sometime leave a note that reads "So far the only noticeable handicap on you is between your ears!"
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No comment!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 4, 2008 - 5:41pm.
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 3:38pm.
I dunno, something tells me she doesn't cry when she hears the word "baby".
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I do not think she ever wanted a baby, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Babies make a lot of poo.
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My words exactly. Babies and cashmere pashminas do not mix. I learned that the hard way. :(
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 5:43pm.
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Douchifer?
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on June 4, 2008 - 5:33pm.
In other FerMan news
erm...couldn't we come up with a better name for them than that?
--------------
Word. It doesn't roll of my tongue. We should start making a name poll. What about Mayiston? Johniston? Jenyer?... come on join the fun!
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Simmetrick on June 4, 2008 - 3:36pm.
There is a lovely site called youparklikeanasshole.com
Nice! Fills a need.
Submitted by Lory on June 4, 2008 - 3:38pm.
I dunno, something tells me she doesn't cry when she hears the word "baby".
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I do not think she ever wanted a baby, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Babies make a lot of poo.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
I can up you on the hadicapped parking....
There was this faat whore who used to park in the handicapped all of the time at our local movie theatre, and once while she was in watching a movie my friend and I keyed her car, and wrote.."I LOVE BIG BLACK DICK" on the side of her nice new car. SWEAR. It was funny to see her driving around town like that until she got it fixed a few monts later. ***snicker***
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~
Oh my, tattoos, a "J" for JackOff.
Well there's the kiss of death right there.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA"
Submitted by Simmetrick on June 4, 2008 - 3:36pm.
No, sweetie, I am sitting right in your lap on this one.
People who drive fancy schmancy expensive cars and think the rules don't apply to them are all going to burn in HELL!!!
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
“Why do some girls dress like boys?” I replied loudly, “Because of my huge balls.”
I guess that I'm in the minority, but I don't care. I like them together. I hope that he doesn't hurt her.
I dunno, something tells me she doesn't cry when she hears the word "baby". Come on, she doesn't even listen to a word he says anymore, she just pretends to. I'd wager she just looks at him and giggles until she pees, which is good considering all that comes out of his mouth is brain caca. Dickmatization at its best.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 5, 2008 - 12:27am.
Mrs. Kravitz, I hate these fuckers too. There is a lovely site called youparklikeanasshole.com (no joke. They have lovely forms you can print out for such occasions, among others. I know it´s a bit infantile but...i kinda like it, I must admit. If I didn´t get that your comment was some subtile humour or rference , sorry this may just be the result of me not being a native english speaker.