Give This Bitch A Pacifier
Nick Hogan is the new Wonky McValtrex. This dumb bitch asked the court today to transfer him from solitary confinement to monitored home confinement until he turns 18 in July. Once he turns 18 he's willing to serve his sentence in minimum-security.
Nick isn't old enough for the jail's minimum-security area, so he's whining about how it's unfair for him to be put in a small cell for 16 to 17 hours a day. Seriously, can't they just put Bubba's dick in Nick's mouth to shut him up? There's a Bubba in every jail. Trust.
His lawyers said that Nick's “current confinement is neither fair nor acceptable and creates a mental and physical health risk to a seventeen year old.” Nick might be 17, but his hairline is 45.
Let's see, 17 hours of being by myself in a little room or 17 hours of having a train ran on me? I'd take the latter, but there's no way pansy Nick can handle it. He better stay in solitary if he knows what's good for his ass.
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Submitted by Newportjoey on June 2, 2008 - 10:20pm.
Hello joey! *smooches*
James Haven is back in the States. Too many makeover appointments that can't be missed!
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Angelina Jolie and I love each other. IF that's unusual these days, that's sad.
if I were him I take some solitary and some Rogaine and handle my hairline business!
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yeah, I said it! what?
James Haven watched Oz. He knows what goes on in those prisons
James Haven knows more then we credited him with. How is the French vacation working out Jimbo????
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Submitted by James Haven on June 2, 2008 - 10:02pm.
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ROFLMAO!!! That show ruined me for life, too and I only saw one episode. All I have to say is, always keep your cheeks clenched tight - that's what my mama taught me.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass."
To Nick: Boo fucking hoo.
To Linda: Mighty concerned mom, aren't you, to be humpin' it up in a nightclub with a boy toy half your age?
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"If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway."
this kid is only 17 and he already has more head than hair...is there a way for this degenerate to be placed under the jail?
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my new ringtone...hotness...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsW58hO8Mok
Submitted by QueenCharisma on June 2, 2008 - 9:55pm.
Queenie! That show scared James Haven, straight!
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Angelina Jolie and I love each other. IF that's unusual these days, that's sad.
James Haven watched Oz. He knows what goes on in those prisons!
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LMFAO! OMG, that's my catchphrase - I say that shit all the time!
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass."
He is my favorite actor. I love him. Is he single now? I saw his profile on millionaire and celebrity dating site "W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m" last week. Just curious.
There seems to be a breed of parents these days that instill upon there kids a mantra of "no consequences".
Money fixes everything.?.
He should be trying to land himself a pretty boyfriend in prison before he loses the rest of that hair.
Given that he has a father who wants to be his best friend rather than parent, and calls him "dude" rather than by his first name, I'm pleased he's in prison. Only downside is he'll one day get out, and dude has already promised dude a new TV gig, man.
This little slimy, despicable son of a bitch needs to be taken out back and shot! WTF does he mean he can't stay in a cell for 17 hours a day?! Bitch, try staying in a comma for months because some shithead decided to drive drunk with you in the car and then wrapped you around a fucking tree!
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass."
May that train be long and winding for this future pillow biter.
"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
Ava Gardner......
Submitted by James Haven on June 2, 2008 - 9:12pm.
come on, i betchya could trade Mary Kay to the "shims" for cigs!LOL!
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"Don't think me unkind.
Words are hard to find.
They're only cheques I've left unsigned.
From the banks of chaos in my mind."
He'll be completely bald about the crown by 25. Trust.
If the "Biggest Douche in the Universe" from South Park were to be real, planet Earth would be always a favorite year after year because of our endless (and fertile) douche stock.
Regardless how the Hogan's try to flip the shit, Nick is due some more heavy shit in life even after whatever jail time, if nothing for his poor upbringing.
James Haven received a message from Nick today. He wanted James Haven to bring him a cake with a file in it! James Haven told Nick in no uncertain terms that he will NOT be a part of these high jinx!
If James Haven gets caught trying to help Nick break out of the big house, James Haven too will be sent to the pokey, and James Haven is too pretty for jail. James Haven watched Oz. He knows what goes on in those prisons!
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Angelina Jolie and I love each other. IF that's unusual these days, that's sad.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on June 2, 2008 - 8:02pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:54pm.
Hells to the Yeah! I mean, I plan to go drag racing tonight, but a little catnip won't hurt, right?
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*opening hamper lid* *jumping out and running to TigerLilly* *wrapping little sock monkey arms around neck* *BIG smooch*
Me loves you, TigerLilly...but don't catnip and drive. Okay?
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Wha-Wha? It's just a little catnip, and this here Army vet whose "a negative person" and who has "bad Karma" don't matter a hill o' beans, right?
Ok, getting my blood pressure up...I hope this little fuck finds out the hard way what Karma really is, along with the rest of his narcissistic TRASHY family!
'nite kids....I lurves you more than Nick Hogan lurves a parole slip....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I saw part of nancy grace just now. some guy called in and asked, "isn't it the DRIVER'S responsibility to make sure passengers are wearing their seatbelts per florida law?" answer: yes.
Submitted by joe shmoe on June 2, 2008 - 6:02pm.
I prefer the term "tinkle."
Submitted by Sheeps on June 2, 2008 - 8:36pm.
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Hahahahahahaha! Just out of curosity, how do boy scouts put out a fire? They pee on it, don't they?
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J'aime ton dos quand tu dors sur le ventre
J'aime ton ventre quand tu dors sur le dos
J'apprécie aussi ceci côté-ci
Mais remontre-moi cela côté-là
Submitted by Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:54pm.
Hells to the Yeah! I mean, I plan to go drag racing tonight, but a little catnip won't hurt, right?
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*opening hamper lid* *jumping out and running to TigerLilly* *wrapping little sock monkey arms around neck* *BIG smooch*
Me loves you, TigerLilly...but don't catnip and drive. Okay?
ON T: Motherfucker. (pun intended)
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on June 2, 2008 - 7:52pm.
Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:36pm.
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- What? No Phoebe Cutlet Cottage Cheese Salad?
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Dammit Bradiful you always order something more delicious than me...'cept for the time when I ordered the Tommy Girl/ John Travolta tossed salad with exta Jizz and just a sprinkling of Thetans...(I haven't crossed the Bridge yet, and admit it. Thetans are tasty....plus when they are toasted, they lose their power...)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Simmetrick on June 2, 2008 - 8:45pm
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Well I admire you! Most people only speak one language (and badly at that)
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J'aime ton dos quand tu dors sur le ventre
J'aime ton ventre quand tu dors sur le dos
J'apprécie aussi ceci côté-ci
Mais remontre-moi cela côté-là
Submitted by Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:54pm.
i think the rule according to Hogan is "as long as you wear your seatbelt, all bets, and responsibility are off"
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"Don't think me unkind.
Words are hard to find.
They're only cheques I've left unsigned.
From the banks of chaos in my mind."
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on June 2, 2008 - 7:47pm.
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*opening hamper lid* *whispering* Pssst! Tigerlilly! How about a little high grade top notch catnip to go with that Hogan Hoagie? *shaking bag* *leaving it outside hamper* *closing lid*
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Hells to the Yeah! I mean, I plan to go drag racing tonight, but a little catnip won't hurt, right?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:36pm.
ubmitted by EveryStrangersEyes on June 2, 2008 - 7:19pm.
OT: hoping Hogan becomes hoagie... eaten
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*Stepping up to the DListed Snack Bar*...Um, I'll have a Hogan Hoagie please...yes, extra Nick...heavy on The Hulk, um a little Brooke minus the silicone and fake tan. I don't digest that well...Oh, and yeah, some silicone-free bacon... you know, Linda, Ok, no, no, no...No toppings.....
- What? No Phoebe Cutlet Cottage Cheese Salad?
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA"
@ESE:
Oh yesssssssss!
Sweet sister voddie. Yeah, baby. That's what momma needs.
What are you bitches looking at?
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
Submitted by chefcammi on June 2, 2008 - 8:49pm.
no, no, it's not that!.. i just loved the "I EATED IT"... classic!
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"Don't think me unkind.
Words are hard to find.
They're only cheques I've left unsigned.
From the banks of chaos in my mind."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on June 2, 2008 - 7:40pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:36pm.
HAHAHAHA!!... *looking into blueprints for "DListed Snack Bar"*!!!
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Honestly, I can't vouch for the quality of food, but the quanity is excellent...MK skewers 'em, the DListed snack bar gives 'em the Waffle House treatment, and VOILA. a delicious meal, served with a side of Jello 1-2-3....Scrumptious!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
http://www.floatmyboat.wordpress.com ~ArianSkyy
What a dumbass loser, stupid Nicker-Knocker!!
Hey Mike! I LOVE your blog!!! I've been a reader for awhile now and I love your humor! You inspired me to start my own blog, the floatmyboat one. You have a coool way with words and I really ddddddigit!!!
Come visit me!!!
ESE..
You dont like Tough Cat? He eats pain for breakfast!
•·.·´¯`·.·•chefcammi•·.·´¯`·.·•
Gummy and gross in the mouth area since 2008!
My hatred for the Hogans has never wavered. Even at the height of their popularity from their VH1 reality show, I always noticed something ICKY and off about them..... there's the tranny mother/daughter... and the obnoxious use of tanning and hair bleach... and an overall sick feeling I get when I look at them.
Glad that now the world knows what idiots they truly are.
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on June 2, 2008 - 8:43pm.
you always rope me in with the "please".. *passing vodka... er.. "voddie"*!!LOL!.. hey, trip-D!
OT: i don't think Nicky's gonna get the "pacifier" he's looking for
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"Don't think me unkind.
Words are hard to find.
They're only cheques I've left unsigned.
From the banks of chaos in my mind."
Submitted by Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:36pm.
*Stepping up to the DListed Snack Bar*...Um, I'll have a Hogan Hoagie please...yes, extra Nick...heavy on The Hulk, um a little Brooke minus the silicone and fake tan. I don't digest that well...Oh, and yeah, some silicone-free bacon... you know, Linda, Ok, no, no, no...No toppings.....
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*opening hamper lid* *whispering* Pssst! Tigerlilly! How about a little high grade top notch catnip to go with that Hogan Hoagie? *shaking bag* *leaving it outside hamper* *closing lid*
ON T: Hogan is gonna be one very delicious jailhouse sammich for Bubba and Booboo. Spicy pickle on the side. Screaming optional.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Simmetrick on June 2, 2008 - 7:38pm.
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Hey don't worry about going off topic - we do it all the time *glancing nervously over my shoulder for the OT Police*.
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The last thread of the day always evolves/devolves into the random chat thread. Iz all good!
ESE:
You hot bitch!
Voddie!
Stat!
Please?
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
May he pull a nightly train of lifers using only Crisco for lube. The kind *with* trans-fat.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on June 2, 2008 - 8:36pm.
HAHAHAHA!!... *looking into blueprints for "DListed Snack Bar"*!!!
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"Don't think me unkind.
Words are hard to find.
They're only cheques I've left unsigned.
From the banks of chaos in my mind."
Submitted by chefcammi on June 2, 2008 - 8:35pm.
what?.. no more "UR SOUL... I EATED IT"?... sad day!
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"Don't think me unkind.
Words are hard to find.
They're only cheques I've left unsigned.
From the banks of chaos in my mind."
Gah.
Sorry I can't say more, I snapped into a Slim Jim.
Gah again.
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
ubmitted by EveryStrangersEyes on June 2, 2008 - 7:19pm.
OT: hoping Hogan becomes hoagie... eaten
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Stepping up to the DListed Snack Bar*...Um, I'll have a Hogan Hoagie please...yes, extra Nick...heavy on The Hulk, um a little Brooke minus the silicone and fake tan. I don't digest that well...Oh, and yeah, some silicone-free bacon... you know, Linda, Ok, no, no, no...No toppings.....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by joe shmoe on June 2, 2008 - 5:31pm.
I went to Burning Man once and wasn't asked back. A bunch of crazy people tried to start a bonfire and I, using my Boy Scout training, put it out. But did anyone thank me?
So Hulk acts tough, but he breeds bitches for sons!!!!!
"Wait, maybe there's some creepy bitch living in my apartment and I don't know it. A whole box of Oreos seems to go missing around 11pm every night.... It's the closet witch! By "closet witch" I mean my stomach. That sneaky mofo."
Submitted by Simmetrick on June 2, 2008 - 6:22pm.
... and I find it quite disturbing that the Hogan parents both have a lover more or less the age of their own kids
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yes because that would be called incest and it's illegal in the US, so I guess they got the next best thing!
•·.·´¯`·.·•chefcammi•·.·´¯`·.·•
Gummy and gross in the mouth area since 2008!
Don't you just love his big ginzo nose?
Submitted by Sheeps on June 2, 2008 - 8:06pm.
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Yessiree. All of the above. Hey have you been to Burning Man?
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J'aime ton dos quand tu dors sur le ventre
J'aime ton ventre quand tu dors sur le dos
J'apprécie aussi ceci côté-ci
Mais remontre-moi cela côté-là
Submitted by luscious_t on June 2, 2008 - 5:21pm.
IMO, it seems this whole issue hinges on whether or not he was tried as an adult.
I don't think he was tried. I think he pleaded no contest. Maybe he did so based on assumptions about which prison he'd serve time in.
Submitted by Simmetrick on June 2, 2008 - 8:16pm.
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Hey no worries! I didn't think you were saying anything to defend that moron. Your English is very good - can I ask where you're from (if that's not too nosy)
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J'aime ton dos quand tu dors sur le ventre
J'aime ton ventre quand tu dors sur le dos
J'apprécie aussi ceci côté-ci
Mais remontre-moi cela côté-là