Friday, May 30th 2008
The Photoshop Awards: Angie On Vanity Fair
Holy Zahara! I think this is my 5th Brangie post of the day. I'm getting closer (not really) to my goal of 20 and then I just know something epic is going to happen. Lighting will strike me or Jello will announce the triumphant return of Jello-1-2-3.
Maddox's mommy made the cover of July's Vanity Fair. Thousands of copies will probably be covered in Brangalooie genital fluids by the end of the month. Besides her hypnotic chichis, I'm not into it. Kelly LeBrock did this look better in the 80s.
Visit Vanity Fair to read some quotes from the interview.
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Submitted by MONKEYPOX on May 30, 2008 - 5:41pm.
Submitted by mishma on May 30, 2008 - 3:39pm
Siskel's the dead one idiot. Fuck off Beige, because you will regret messing with me. I promise it...
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Awww shit. Wanna borrow Patty's gun from my avatar?
I gotta go walk the dog. Hope I don't get hit by a drive by.
@IG:
Ya know what's good for the crabs? Melted butter and lemon. And a pint!
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
Oh No MONKEYPOX, you jacked your facts, AGAIN!
Well you have been straightened out missy.
I wanna be a film critic, watch movies all day, get paid off to make a shitty movie sound better than it is, have publicists kissing my ass.
Crawl up an "artists" ass hoping they will name a kid or something after me.
Film critics are nothing but lap dogs on a leash.
Employed by giant media outlets that are owned by mega corporations that we call "Movie Studios".
They are all in bed together, trust.
AND THAT AIN'T NO JACKED FACT SALLY MACK!
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
ISprainedMyUvula on May 30, 2008 - 5:40pm.
Goddman. It's back like Paris's crabs- with a vengence.
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Yup.
*scratches*
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But then again, what do I know?
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on May 30, 2008 - 5:37pm.
Ebert has been sick. He hasn't reviewed a movie on Ebert & Roper in months. A guess critic from the Village Voice reviewed A Mighty Heart with Roper. They both liked the film. So I am simply asking what you were talking about...it doesn't sound accurate.
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I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
“Artists raise their kids differently,” she said. “We communicate to the point where we probably annoy our children. We have art around the house, we have books, we go to plays, we talk. Our focus is art and painting and dress-up and singing. It’s what we love. So I think you can see how artists in some way raise other artists.”
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Godness me, what she talkin bout, what is the "books" and "plays" and "art"? No sir my youngin don't have nun of that nonesense.
Submitted by mishma on May 30, 2008 - 3:39pm
Siskel's the dead one idiot. Fuck off Beige, because you will regret messing with me. I promise it...
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
@Kiwi:
Sorry. I got my drink on early today and I get obnoxious really fast. *hic*
Let's party HWORES!
BTW, where have you been, Kiwi?
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
It's so funny how people get so up in arms about Brangelina.That's why the coverage will never die.
Deltadawn, stop, oh please stop. I can't take it anymore.
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Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on May 30, 2008 - 5:36pm.
@Monkey:
Yes. He knocked me up with my son BEAT, and took off, the son-of-a-cocksucker.
Still, I love him.
He used to tell me, "Dawnie, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be. But my life, my love and my lady is the sea."
*sigh*
Goddman. It's back like Paris's crabs- with a vengence.
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I hate you all, your mom's a whore.
I wish that moron would read some books with her kids instead of just spewing her verbal trash. That economist article sounded like something I'd fail from one one my freshman. Either she's a grade A idiot, or like many of my students, she probably wrote that shit an hour before it was due. Or, most likely, both scenarios are true.
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I'm sure that if you were nearly as delusional about Mohammed as you are about Bobble-head, that Dutch newspaper would never have published those cartoons. Linzee on LA
"EBERT and ROEPER reviewing a mighty heart"
From the grave? I FUCKING TOLD YOU, ANGELINA CAN RAISE THE DEAD YOU UNBELIEVERS
@Mrs. K:
♥♥♥ So flattered! I love you like my houseplants and giant letter "M" on the wall.
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on May 30, 2008 - 3:37pm
I thought Troy was actually worse...
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
Triple D is was the avies that got me confused they kinda look the same, in terms of the color. I just thought it was her.
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I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
BEST SIGGY EVER in the history of Dlisted
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I often confuse Mrs. K with Rhoda Morgenstern, my BFF from Minneapolis. I think it's the colorful head scarves and sage Jewish wisdom, but it could be the hamentaschen.
Submitted by HEART ANGELINA on May 30, 2008 - 3:35pm
Hey Idiot, go back and read my post. I was talking about EBERT and ROEPER reviewing a mighty heart. I alos said I thought it was unfair that AJ being only a year older and playing Colin's mother is a fucking travesty. She should be playing his wife. God...
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
LMAO--in th ehell actually LIKED Alexandar? that was one of the shittiest movies I had the misfortune of watching about 1/2 hour of. Although, Angiepoo should have gotten a razzie for that horrific count chockula accent.
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I'm sure that if you were nearly as delusional about Mohammed as you are about Bobble-head, that Dutch newspaper would never have published those cartoons. Linzee on LA
@Monkey:
Yes. He knocked me up with my son BEAT, and took off, the son-of-a-cocksucker.
Still, I love him.
He used to tell me, "Dawnie, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be. But my life, my love and my lady is the sea."
*sigh*
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
shity cover, shitty "actor", shitty person.
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I'm sure that if you were nearly as delusional about Mohammed as you are about Bobble-head, that Dutch newspaper would never have published those cartoons. Linzee on LA
BTW, if you slapped me across the face and called me a dirty whore we'd end up making out...pow chika pow wow...
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
Oh Really MONKEYPOX because that sounds inaccurate. It sounds to me you have your facts jacked. I know you're mixing reviews from Alexander. Micheal Phillips wasn't even there to review Alexander. You do know that every single episode of Ebert & Roper is on there website and thats bullshit. What movie are you talking about because Phillips loved Angie's turn in the Clint Eastwood movie??? Roper hasn't seen it yet. Roper didn't care for Alexander but he has never said anything like that about Angelina.
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I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
@DawnieDawnDawn,
Oh, you're keeping me in stitches. Stop, or you'll rip out the work my mechanic/surgeon did.
"Uncensored"
Are they trying to be ironic?
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
Wow! She's a stunner. Preggers or not.
Submitted by HEART ANGELINA on May 30, 2008 - 2:29pm.
Sincere apoplogies Mrs K. I confused you for someones else.
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I don't understand how that could be! I'm Bunny Kravitz, I'm different, I'm special, I AM AN ARTIST!!!!! How could you POSSIBLY confuse me with someone else?!?!?
OK, I'm over it. As you were.
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I'm so glad we had this time together,
Just to have a laugh, or sing a song.
Seems we just get started and before you know it
Comes the time we have to say, “So long."
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on May 30, 2008 - 3:28pm
OMG D3! I totally remember crabcatcherunderseamen... your ex-boy. Didn't you two have a torrid affair? LOL... Seriously folks, curse out loud. Just don't address people by "Asshole", "Cunt", "Whore", "bitch", "cum-dumpster" et cetera...they tend to take it personally. Live and express and stifle not! Lest ye be stifled...
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on May 30, 2008 - 5:30pm.
I still don't know how I got involved in this whole sordid affair. Now I am all famischt.
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That's what she does-sucks you in. She's a lot like her icon.
@LA:
I often confuse Mrs. K with Rhoda Morgenstern, my BFF from Minneapolis. I think it's the colorful head scarves and sage Jewish wisdom, but it could be the hamentaschen.
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
Submitted by kiwikim on May 30, 2008 - 2:26pm.
She took that shit seriously didn't she? She isn't clued into the irony in her own statement. I'd try to explain the concept, but I suspect I might be wasting my time.
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I still don't know how I got involved in this whole sordid affair. Now I am all famischt.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I'm so glad we had this time together,
Just to have a laugh, or sing a song.
Seems we just get started and before you know it
Comes the time we have to say, “So long."
It is not MY fault that my cats are so incredibly sexy WITHOUT liposuction that you stalk them on myspace, don't H8 appreci8
"Artists raise their kids differently,” she said. “We communicate to the point where we probably annoy our children. We have art around the house, we have books, we go to plays, we talk. Our focus is art and painting and dress-up and singing. It’s what we love. So I think you can see how artists in some way raise other artists"
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Really Angie?
I lock mine up. We dont talk, read, have any other extracurricular activities. We dont play, dress-up or sing. We live totally mundane, gray, lives.
Sheeeesh, talking about someone who is full of themselves. She obviously suffers from narcisitic(sic) personality disorder.
Artists are so special. They dont do the stuff us normal moms do. What a freakin' moron.
Go Lakers!!!
Mrs.Kravitz on May 30, 2008 - 4:23pm.
Well now you know, when your pants are on fire it forces uncontrollable back pedaling and proofness of alleged super duper fake fandom.
ZOMAY!!!!
♥♥♥
Yesterday'sTrashQueen....
Jurl.
♥♥♥
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
Submitted by HEART ANGELINA on May 30, 2008 - 5:21pm.
Excuse me Mrs K but this was my Avatar on Popsugar for hours before I put it up here
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why do dogs always run the wrong way when you
throw the stick in the opposite direction??
DUH. I said it, not Mrs. K.
Friggin Heel and Chill the Eff out.
You're like a damn Irish Setter running
around a yard yapping and slobbering non
stop all day.
Sincere apoplogies Mrs K. I confused you for someones else.
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I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
Well regardless of what she meant she erased it. WHY DID YOU ERASE IT DEAR?
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Bi = Bitch?
What the fuck with that? We curse like a bunch of drunken sailors up in here!!!
*sighs* *remembers fondly crabcatcherunderseaman*.
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I had a hemorrhoid and... well, it's still a hemorrhoid. -Island Girl
It is a testament to filmakers everywhere that have recorded the messiah Angelina that the film in the camera did not burst apart in a ray of light that would blind the lowly masses. It is no small feat to capture Angelina so that us mere and unworthy mortals can experience the splendor that is SHE
Submitted by YesterdaysTrashQueen on May 30, 2008 - 5:26pm.
@Zomay on May 30, 2008 - 5:23pm.
I truly would love the "performer" to meet
her fandroid. AJ would kick the living
shit outta her for being such a vapid
little follower.
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Yeah, but the problem is she'd like it and ask for more.
Submitted by zomay on May 30, 2008 - 3:23pm
Zomay, that was bi... meaning she omitted the -tch to get around the technicality of cursing at us.
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
Submitted by YesterdaysTrashQueen on May 30, 2008 - 5:21pm.
The Brangeloonie Committee called and
wants LA/HA/Sybil to turn in her card
carrying ID.
Reason: any true fandroid would have
a HQ untagged pic of this Vanity Fair
cover wayyyyy before it's released to
the public and you waited till MK
displayed her in her uttery photoshoppery
to make it your hack avie.
Submitted by HEART ANGELINA on May 30, 2008 - 5:21pm.
Excuse me Mrs K but this was my Avatar on Popsugar for hours before I put it up here.
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She took that shit seriously didn't she? She isn't clued into the irony in her own statement. I'd try to explain the concept, but I suspect I might be wasting my time.
@Zomay on May 30, 2008 - 5:23pm.
Exactly, shit there are even more
bad ass hard core Harry Potter fans
than this fluff-n-nutter.
I truly would love the "performer" to meet
her fandroid. AJ would kick the living
shit outta her for being such a vapid
little follower.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
Okay I'm going to just say something. Michael Phillips is not that much of a "well-respected" critic. I actually happened to watch the episode of Ebert and Roeper where they reviewed the movie, and both said (which is weird for Roeper as he LOVES AJ) that the movie was over-hyped, misdirected and acting was meh... I wish I could say I liked AJ's acting, but I really think she is too overrated. She was decent in Gia (not phenomenal by any means) and good in Girl, Interrupted, but other than those two, she was just unbearable. One thing I did defend about her was that she was a year older than Colin Farrell and pplayed his fucking MOTHER!!! That is ridiculous.
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
Submitted by kiwikim on May 30, 2008 - 5:17pm.
Not to be conceited or nothing but I was born beautiful. I don't need plastic surgery.
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I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
@Kiwi:
Yeah. We had books and art and culture and shit and we were better than all of you pedestrian motherfuckers so suck my ass you plebian clods. WE ARE ARTISTS AND ENTITLED TO HAVE YOU WORSHIP US. Fucksticks.
Pretty much.
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You know that, I can't so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.
Submitted by HEART ANGELINA on May 30, 2008 - 2:21pm.
Excuse me Mrs K but this was my Avatar on Popsugar for hours before I put it up here.
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MAZEL TOV, bubbeleh!!!!!
And you're telling me this because...?
Did I inquire? Did I say "Hey, LA tell me about your newest avatar over at popsugar."
I think not.
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I'm so glad we had this time together,
Just to have a laugh, or sing a song.
Seems we just get started and before you know it
Comes the time we have to say, “So long."
YesterdaysTrashQueen very true. Also I am starting to believe she is not a fan like she claims because she called us all "BI" in one of her attacks. And we all know saint Angie Jo is proud of her BI experiences. Any true fan would never use that as an attack. Who ever you are, your alias is cracking.
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Submitted by NitWitty on May 30, 2008 - 3:49pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on May 30, 2008 - 2:41pm.
“Artists raise their kids differently,” she said. “We communicate to the point where we probably annoy our children. We have art around the house, we have books, we go to plays, we talk. Our focus is art and painting and dress-up and singing. It’s what we love. So I think you can see how artists in some way raise other artists.”
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That's a riot. I remember after she got Z all she could talk about was wanting to raise them with brad in a "stable" invironment and wanting them to go to school and not be taught by tutors..etc. Those kids are living ANYTHING but stable, they are traipsed from country to country and in and out of schools in France and New Orleans and even L.A. for a while. We really wouldn't give two shits if she'd just SHUT her YAP HOLE for just a few months, really.
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That's not all, after she got Maddox (6+years ago) she told the interviewer that she wanted to buy a home in another country and stop working permanently so that she could raise her son quietly. WTF happened to those plans?!!! She's so full of shit her breath stinks!
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on May 30, 2008 - 5:19pm.
Submitted by kiwikim on May 30, 2008 - 4:17pm.
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Oh no! Not that guy. I went to him for an eye lift and now every time I blink, I fart. Nearly impossible to find a date, you know.
*pooooot* *pooooot*
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm laughing. I'm laughing hard. Too funny and clever. You must have grown up in the Angelina household, with artists who had a special way of communicating with you.