Monday, June 2nd 2008
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For May 30th!
Ewww...is this really what Clay Gaykin's sperm looks like under a micro-scope?!? - Perezs Nemesis
Runners-up:
As the pig gave birth, it became all too clear that the farmer had been doing more than feeding her slop during barn time. - Hoozer
You'd be pissed off too if everyone kept trying to tie your nose in a knot! - NitWitty
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Dang it, our Wal-Mart smilie is eating another manager.
It's good to see Michael Lohan is finally coming out of his shell!!
PUSH IT BACK IN!!
PUSH IT BACK IN!!!!
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I'm bored with you now.
Jim tries to convince ING Direct that he'd be the perfect spokesperson for their Orange savings account.
...looks like Fortune Cookie Man has been hitting the sauce again...
Amy Winehouse's cervical cap screams for mercy
One of Paris Hilton's Genital Warts under a Microscope
The boy in the plastic bubble is borderline homeless.
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I'm sort of shy, and I'm not much of a talker, but if you poke me I'll probably rustle up a sentence or two.
Baby boys spend 12 hours gettin' out,
and the rest of their lives tryin to get back in.
If they only knew what kind of company I keep inside this circus peanut, "hey, Verne, go slower!"
It really pisses Bob off when you start in with those “what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs” jokes.
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I'm sort of shy, and I'm not much of a talker, but if you poke me I'll probably rustle up a sentence or two.
Wanna be a -- baller, shot caller
Think I messed up gonna be in big caca
I'm a -- baller a big orange crawler
I hit the HIIIGHWAY, making money the FLYYYY WAY
But there's got to be a BETT-ER WAYY!
A better way, better way, YEAH-AHHHH
*The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.*
Tonight on Dateline: The one Cheeto that got away from Britney speaks to the public for the first time....
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"Real n*ggas do not care about stretch marks. We know that either you were big and got small. Or you were small and got big. Either way we fuckin'." -Katt Williams
Larry was suddenly pissed that he signed that waiver before he was hired to test out the new citrus flavored condoms.
Somehow those pesky paparazzi were able to get a shot of the first Brangelina twin being born.
Not only can't Florida figure out how to make their votes count, their oranges have angry heads growing from them as well!
My Poo Baby got loose!
Meet Chris Angel's jealous step-brother. Non- Sequitur-ist. He still isn't getting daddy's love though.
Looks like Fishstick's hubby got a bit TOO involved in the birth of their child.
Georgia peaches sure suffered this year because of the drought.
Kelsey Grammer stars in his new sitcom, "My Dad the Diaphragm" on the WB.
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You know that, I can't so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.
Rip VanGassen made the guinness book of world records today by filling up a body sized balloon using only his farts!
Meet Larry, the distant troubled cousin of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Instead of brown nosing around, Louie decided to get around by red nosing. In other words... using his nose to get around.
The new Valtrex mascot has finally been revealed.
As the pig gave birth, it became all too clear that the farmer had been doing more than feeding her slop during barn time.
Circa 2078: When humans discovered what GMO's really do to DNA.
This man learned the hard way what happens when you go head to head with Brit Brit in a cheeto eating contest.
"When Condoms Fail" next on Jerry Springer.
Squirtle!
NoAnjl my love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx4eva.
Tough one today!!
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I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women, hot and strong... with a spoon in them.
The horror of Patrick the Starfish and Gary Busse's love child, tonight at 6!
Not willing to risk anymore lawsuits...the Trojan condom company begins testing on humans.
GOD DAMN YOU BENJAMIN LINUS!
JA XOXOXOXO
Looks like someone is enjoying a fortune dookie.
If you rub him back and forth fast enough on the rug, he'll cling to you.
That's the same face I make when my pup tent is so big it fucks me in my own ass.
Manufacturer's warning: Kraft Cheese Singles are meant to be eaten in moderation.
Bubble boy tries to commit suicide.
Test run for human water balloons.
No wonder he's straining, he's got a turtlehead!
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I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women, hot and strong... with a spoon in them.
You'd be pissed off too if everyone kept trying to tie your nose in a knot!
Don't look at me like that! It's not MY fault you're constipated!
Another reason why you should never eat burritos while you're wearing a hazmat suit!
All that shit Britney has been eating lately was sure to produce some kind of living thing inside of her.
PP left her most offensive bit of cellulite at home when she went to defend herself to The Insider.
What really became of Lance Armstrong's other ball.
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
An Oompa Loompas 'O' face.
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I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women, hot and strong... with a spoon in them.
Dubbaya Bubba Gum. And you thought he only got tongue tied when he gave speeches!