Thursday, May 29th 2008
Would You Hit It?
Yesh, I would. Only because it's rumored that the dick is major. I would have to sit in a bath of nail polish remover afterwards to get the Simpson smegma off of me.
We would also have to "shave 'n fuck." That hairy patch on his belly is distracting. I don't mind landing strips, but that shit needs a little maintenance. I bet his peen bush is like the damn amazon jungle. You need a machete to get through that mess. I guess Jenny Aniston doesn't mind pubies between her teeth. Beggars can't be choosers!
Here's John in Hawaii this past weekend. Jenny wasn't with him. He needed to spend time with the "boys."
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Submitted by riverchic on May 29, 2008 - 9:30pm.
Sock-Monkey:
"how do you pose a question like that or just say "show me your starfish tattoo"..? lol"
I just innocently ask, "So... Ya ever been a prison bitch?" or "Ya ever been accosted by a 300 lb. butt-pirate with prison tattoos & a broom-stick after lights-out?"
Lol!!! Just kidding...
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LMAO! *falls out of hamper* Okay, I'm thinking..looking at the stranger who invited himself to my party..."What's the closest prison near your home?" "Ever been there?"
Or "Ever watch "Lockdown" on MSNBC?" "Any thoughts?" "Is it true you can make a gun out of a bar of soap?" lol
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
EveryStrangersEyes:
"What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
LMAO!!! That sounds familiar - what movie is that off of?
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 29, 2008 - 9:35pm.
BWAHAHAHAHA
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:18pm.
Reminded me of a party I attended once where one of my friends pulled out a bottle of Chinese wine (yes, CHINESE wine). I've never tasted tiger snot, but I wouldn't be surprised if it tasted like that wine.
:)
On topic: Fuck it, I have nothing.
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Actually, I'm just the President of the Dungeons and Dragons club here in town.
Submitted by Candy Lynn on May 29, 2008 - 8:28pm.
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Good theory, but Pamela Anderson is known more for her pontoon tits rather than her lips, and Scarlett is also known for her chi-chi's (since she's a butter face). The rest, maybe you have a point, but those two? TITS, fake real, it don't matter...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Candy Lynn on May 29, 2008 - 9:28pm.
WTF?
Nibb High Football Rules!
yes, double time. I have a thing for douchebags.
Submitted by Candy Lynn on May 29, 2008 - 9:28pm.
you can take all the time in the world to edit it, still....
"What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
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"Break the circle and stop the movement,
the wheel is thrown to the ground.
Just remember it might start rolling and take you right back around."
Submitted by Hat Trick on May 29, 2008 - 8:20pm.
What the fuck is up with all of this Brazilan wax, shaved, baldy worship that has crep up over the last several years?
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Thank you! I have no idea. Prune the bush neatly. Enough said. Bald? Yuck. Talk about high maintenance.
Hot wax near my Rose Bush? Not on God's green Earth. Besides, it proves I'm a natural blond! *naughty laugh*
***Submitted by Candy Lynn on May 29, 2008 - 7:28pm.***
Hey, do you have any more of that shit you're on? Good stuff, eh?
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Gentlemen... start your boners.
Submitted by Hat Trick on May 29, 2008 - 8:20pm.
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Sorry, I am 40 and "Team Shave That Shit".
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You know that, I can't so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.
Sock-Monkey:
"how do you pose a question like that or just say "show me your starfish tattoo"..? lol"
I just innocently ask, "So... Ya ever been a prison bitch?" or "Ya ever been accosted by a 300 lb. butt-pirate with prison tattoos & a broom-stick after lights-out?"
Lol!!! Just kidding...
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
The name is Phoebe Price, bitch!!! "Learn it. Love it. Live it!"
To Fucking_Classy :
I feel sorry for you that you have to subject yourself to Botox, Boob Job, fake Tans and Weave to look Decent for men in LA. I'm soo sorry that I have to give you an advice. So grab a pen and take notes, girl!
All you have to do is get a BIG LIPS !!! I'm not talking about the Melanie Griffith/Meg Ryan Joker Lips but a "decent and normal" looking Lip Job.
Men wants their Peen Sucked. All men does. They Love it. If you have a Big pouty lips, it sends a subliminal message that invites their c@cks, lol. And all men think with their c@cks. It's just in their nature. All you Fug ladies will argue, but its done. period. There are no sensitive guys. They all think alike. The "sensitive" ones are just closet homos or asexual, which u dont want either.
Proof to this? ..... Angelina Jolie (Ultimate Femme Fatale, duh!) Adriana Lima ( uber Victoria's secret model ) , Megan Fox, Scarlett Johansenn, Claudia Schiffer, Pamela Andersson and ok, Jessica Alba.
These women have known for their Pouty Lips.
I'm telling you. Don't Argue. Just Do...
Submitted by mike on May 29, 2008 - 9:26pm.
What did Dave Attell ever do to you, sir?
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Nothing my team of psychiatrists can't fix.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 29, 2008 - 8:21pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:18pm.
Do red wine stains come out of white tiger fur?
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Bitch, please...I lick ALL KINDS of blood outta my fur...And look at my coat???? Uhhh...huhhhh... Red wine aint for nothin'...Yeah girl, I was plenty bloody after that zoo incident with the tourists, but what I did was....Oh, shit! Zoo officials...Gotta dash!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 29, 2008 - 9:23pm.
In the 2nd thumbnail, what does he have a mouthful of? And why is he holding hands with Dave Attell?
What did Dave Attell ever do to you, sir?
Kudos to him for having gotten in shape in the last couple of years, but HELL no. I saw the Boratkini pics and frankly, ain't no grower hiding in those trunks. Not that size is everything, but when you're a grade-A douche, you'd better be packing enough to tickle my liver.
In the 2nd thumbnail, what does he have a mouthful of? And why is he holding hands with Dave Attell?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
If you stare at him, his nips look like eyes, belly button is a mouth, the landing strip, a goatee and the board rash on his chest looks like the face is flushed from blowing someone... I hope mt DVR is ahead enough so I can start watching Lost w/o all the damn commercials. Team Val/ you are on tonight!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:18pm.
Do red wine stains come out of white tiger fur?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by riverchic on May 29, 2008 - 9:13pm.
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Hi! Riverchic! *socky hug & smooch* Ha! Ha! I was responding to a comment about JM looking like one of the Menendez bros.
Weird, you never know who has done time until you ask. And yeah, if it's for any extended length of time..they were probably somebody's little bitch along with way. Problem is...how do you pose a question like that or just say "show me your starfish tattoo"..? lol
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sheeps on May 29, 2008 - 9:15pm.
Submitted by riverchic on May 29, 2008 - 9:09pm.
What's with the "77" on his chest?
Most guys that John meets read that as "LL."
Ha!
What the fuck is up with all of this Brazilan wax, shaved, baldy worship that has crep up over the last several years? There ain't nothing sexier than cat or dick parts that are closely cropped, well groomed, and appropriately shaved along bikini lines. But baldy? No thanks. It never ceases to amuse me when the young teeny-boppers or 20 somethings actually see a real bush and say, "OMG, get a razor". Umm, no, you young fucks, get real and with the program.
Submitted by riverchic on May 29, 2008 - 9:17pm.
Team Valtrex:
Lmao!!! You KNOW that shit is true!!! Lol!
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And you know those are only the ones where he swallowed!
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Am I the only one who thinks he has bird-legs? His thighs are as big around as his biceps... Gross...
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
Submitted by Mr. President on May 29, 2008 - 8:12pm.
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Ok, I know this is a total cliche, but wine went up my schnoz when I read your comment, literally...I've got wine snot going on here, peeps....I should bottle that shit! Tiger wine snot...an exotic ingredient to cook with....Thanks, Mr, P. You da Man....*forcing tiger wine snot rockets into a jar*....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Team Valtrex:
Lmao!!! You KNOW that shit is true!!! Lol!
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
Submitted by riverchic on May 29, 2008 - 9:09pm.
What's with the "77" on his chest?
Most guys that John meets read that as "LL."
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Submitted by riverchic on May 29, 2008 - 9:09pm.
What's with the "77" on his chest?
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That's how many record execs he blew to get a recording contract.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 6:08pm.
What's in it for me?
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Sock-Monkey: "They say guys doing time have that certain attraction. Ha!"
Eeewww!!! Nooooo! I was over my friend's house the other day and there was this dude there who was flirting w/me & I thought he was HAWT as hell until my friend told me he was an ex-con. I don't care how hot a guy may be, if I'm told he's an ex-con, all I can picture is him being some big-ass dude's bitch - NOT sexy!!!
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:03pm.
Playing a game of "Would you rather hit Mayer or Wentz" is like playing Russian Roulette with a bullet in every chamber.
But okay, I'll humor you: I would have to say Wentz because he's almost like a girl. A super disgusting girl, but given the sick and twisted rules of your game he'll have to do.
Just close your eyes and pretend you're fucking a pig. That's the only way to get through it.
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Actually, I'm just the President of the Dungeons and Dragons club here in town.
Submitted by mike on May 29, 2008 - 8:07pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:03pm.
When you say "can't choose death", do you mean can't choose suicide, or can't choose to kill Pete or John (or both!)?
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Ok, ok, now it's gettin' interestin'...For now. suicide is the only option...cuz I'm all sadistic like that....
Later, we will explore your scenario....(and by explore, I mean encourage in a way that will get none of us arrested)...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by riverchic on May 29, 2008 - 9:09pm.
I.Q?
T-cell count?
I'm slow tonight, sorry.
Harvey Korman died! :( Now I really want to cry.
RIP, Hedley Lamar.
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Team Jiwon!
What's with the "77" on his chest?
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
Submitted by Uptown James on May 29, 2008 - 9:05pm.
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Hi! Uptown James! *sock monkey hug* They say guys doing time have that certain attraction. Ha!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 29, 2008 - 8:06pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:03pm.
How about french-kissing a light socket?
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All right, fine. You get a pass, but that's the only pass...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
No,i would not hit that,he does nothing for me
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by mike on May 29, 2008 - 7:59pm.
Bad news folks: Harvey Korman dead at 81.
That's sad. RIP.
I got so scared; I thought you were going to say something happened to Jordan's Harvey. :(
<3-------------------------------<3
Welcome to White Oprah's School of Puppetry.
Por favor, mantenganse allejado de las puertas.
On topic: No, I wouldn't hit it - There is no way I'd be able to be in the same room with this douche without having all his pansy-ass songs going thru my head - total mood-killer!
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:03pm.
When you say "can't choose death", do you mean can't choose suicide, or can't choose to kill Pete or John (or both!)?
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 29, 2008 - 9:03pm.
How about french-kissing a light socket?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
I was so certain that this was Erik Menendez.
Hecka ya I'd hit it! Anyday, Anyway!
HE IS HOTTT!
OMG, Sock---He does look like a Menendez Brother! So I changed my mind, I would hit dat...LOL. Gawd, I am such a sick fuk. I don't even like how he looks, you know? If I was gonna do a guy, I would want him to be more muscular and hairy, but since he looks like a Menendez Brother, what the hell...just bite the pillow and take it, like Chelsea Lately always says...LOL.
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"I'm calling in fat tomorrow"
"Would You Hit It?"
Nope, wouldn't even want to touch him with a ten foot pole.
Not since he's been banging so many slags lately. Yuck-o.
mike: I heard about Harvey! That sucks! I loved him in Blazing Saddles as Heady Lamar - no that's HEADLY!!
RIP, Harvey!
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"Oh, Lisa. Just take your anger, turn it into a little hard ball and swallow it down. Then, release it at an appropriate time. Like the time when Daddy hit the referee with a whisky bottle."
Nope, not a chance...
But let's play a game of "who would you rather do?" (and you can't choose death, even if you are a straight guy...)
Pete Wentz
or
John Mayer....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by mike on May 29, 2008 - 8:59pm.
Bad news folks: Harvey Korman dead at 81.
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noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Not Hedley Lamarr!!!
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.