Wednesday, May 28th 2008
Dead Horse
Jessica Simpson has gone cuntry in an obvious attempt to resurrect her dead music career. The horse is already dead. She needs to stop torturing it. UsWeekly posted her new county single, "Come On Over." I'll come on over and muzzle the bitch.
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Ummm... didn't Shania Twain already have an extremely successful hit country single with the very same name ("Come On Over")????
God, you suck balls, Jessica. Just go away. Your voice is crap, and you can't even come up with a new album without blatantly plagerizing the work of real, established, RESPECTED recording artists.
Pathetic.
Have you notice very seldom are country people in these gossip blogs... Mostly rock and pop... Why is that???
Well I suppose there's only so much that can be said about overalls, trailer parks and inbreeding.
Don't hurt me, country folk. Just pick up your banjos and have a pluck. Easy now. Eeeeasy...
Jessica Simpson song was played on a San Antonio country station and most people loved it. I think she will be accepted in the country ranks. Have you notice very seldom are country people in these gossip blogs... Mostly rock and pop... Why is that???
Random screaming doesn't equal singing talent, that made my ears hurt. Very cheap sounding too, these whores must be finally running out of money!
"This song could have easily been recorded by Faith, Shania, Martina, or Carrie. It wouldn't be a stretch at all."
True, but those singers would sound better than Jessica. Martina has a really good voice.
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Joel McHale for Hot Slut of the Year!~!
She seems nice enough that i get so embarrassed for her that she failed at pop and acting so now she is going country? I know she will claim that is her roots but she didnt come to Hollywood and release country album. Doesnt she know people are laughing at her? She would be better off just designing her line of fashion at it seems to sell ok and be happy with that but she seems so desperate to either be taken serious or to be in spotlight or both. And her father and their symbiotic relationship has only hurt her at this point. Kudos for him for getting her and Ashlee started but now she needs a new agent and her dad to let her live her life.
she sounds better than her sister...*snorts*
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yeah, I said it! what?
What a load of Hootinnanny with fat backs on top...
Gross.
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
So nasel.
I hate cuntry music at the best of times, but jebus Chestica, give it a rest already, your 5 minutes of fame have been and gone along with your marriage.
I'm listening to the song right now. It's pretty plain/run-of-the-mill. Nothing special about it. She's just as boring as Taylor Swift. I can't understand why so many people think Swift is so great. She's just another nothing-special.
It's generic country-pop but, for what it is, it's not bad. I find her annoying and am tired of seeing her...but if I heard the song without knowing it was her, I wouldn't think twice about it. Not gonna buy it...but not going to dread hearing it unless they start playing the living shit out of it.
She sounds just like a tornado warning siren on the chorus. I had an impulse to run for the basement.
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LMFAO!!! This poor girl is so delusional thanks to Papa Joe. She has NO TALENT!!! When is she going to realize this? When this album fails, will she have a breakdown of epic Britney proportions? Stay tuned...
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass."
@Mrs. K:
Yes he does. Aside from music, hands down best performance in "Slingblade".
"You know that, I can't so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture."
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Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
DWIGHT YOAKAM ROCKS!!!
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Polaroids on the mantel will be next.
She's goes from Christian music to Pop to now Country, ugh... What's next? Rap music?!
Country music - the sound of the retarded inbreds
Shit! This song is not bad, which sucks because I hate her! Ugh, why did she have to go and skank-up country music!?!
Simpson's record label says that she will be performing at fairs and festivals this summer in support of her country album, due out in September. Simpson's father told PEOPLE last year that the album will go back to her Texas roots. "She's a singer from top to bottom," Joe Simpson said. "And everything in the music business, especially pop music, has moved away from singers. And I think country is the only pure, storytelling kind of genre left."
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In other words Joe, she sucks at singing and no one buys her records.
RUN ROMO, RUN!
Desperate.
Uh....er...okay, come on over to Mabel's some time today, k?
HAHAHAH!!!!
~~~
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
http://www.myspace.com/mabelhodges
ASK MABEL!!!
Submitted by Manbearpig on May 28, 2008 - 10:21am.
This is the same lifeless crap that the country music industry is churning out nowadays,
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youre right.
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"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
This is the same lifeless crap that the country music industry is churning out nowadays, so I think she is actually going to do well with it. It's much better than any of the garbage pop music she released.
These skanks can't hold a candle to Loretta Lynn:
FIST CITY
A you've been makin' your brags around town
That you've been a lovin' my man
But the man I love, when he picks up trash
He puts it in a garbage can
And that's what a you look like to me
And what I see's a pity
Close your face and stay outta my way
If ya don't wanna go to fist city
If ya don't wanna go to fist city
Ya better detour around my town
'Cause I'll grab you by the hair a the head
And I'll lift a you off a the ground
I'm not a sayin' my baby's a saint 'cause he ain't
N' that he won't cat around with a kitty
I'm here to tell ya gal to lay offa my man
If ya don't wanna go to fist city
Come on and tell me what you told my friends
If you think you're brave enough
And I'll show you what a real woman is
Since you think you're hot stuff
You'll bite off more than you can chew
If you get to cute or witty
You better move your feet
If you don't wanna eat
A meal that's called fist city
If you don't wanna go to fist city
You better detour around my town
'Cause I'll grab you by the hair a the head
And I'll lift you offa the ground
I'm not a sayin' my baby's a saint 'cause he ain't
N' that he won't cat around with a kitty
I'm here to tell ya gal to lay offa my man
If ya don't wanna go to fist city
I'm here to tell ya gal to lay offa my man
If ya don't wanna go to fist city
eh, it's not bad. i won't be buying the cd though.
Someone put this tripe out of our misery, please. Taylor Swift sucks god awful balls. I heard "Teardrops on my Guitar" for the first time yesterday and nearly vomited.
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A worthy cause: http://dogsindanger.com/ or http://hua.org/
It is catchy. I like it.
Mr President:
SHHHHHHH...haven't seen it this morning...don't wake it...please......!
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"Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I'll just kick it."
- Jodie Foster
Is this dumb cunt for real??
Doesn't Shania Twain already have a cd called this with the song that has the same name???
http://www.amazon.com/Come-Over-Shania-Twain/dp/B000001EW3
Hate to admit it, but this song is kinda catchy
i would have posted sooner about how badly this sucks assholio, but i was busy taking the ice cubes out of my glass. you know, when you leave, you just don't want them in there anymore. what 1 year old twat wrote this song?
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Also the people who put what I write as their signature are crazy and I have no idea why they do it. Its make no sense. I don't think you should have that there.
LOVE ANGELINA
Submitted by parissucksliterally on May 28, 2008 - 10:52am.
LMAO!!! I totally forgot about our old friend TSF.I better watch my back.
Speaking of loonies, is that crazy ho still using your avie?
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Yeah!!! I like using the word dude. It saves me from actually having to think.
Submitted by Mr. President on May 28, 2008 - 6:54am.
She fits right in with the current trend in country music that favors blonde bimbettes over real talent. Okay, Carrie Underwood has some singing talent, but Taylor Swift? Ugh, she sounds like a cat being strangled. And could Kellie Pickler be any dumber? Jessica has finally found her natural habitat.
Johnny Cash must be spinning in his grave.
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I agree......the song is pretty dumb..
BTW, you'd better watch out now...TaylorSwiftFan is gonna git you for that comment.
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"Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I'll just kick it."
- Jodie Foster
She has failed at pop, acting. Country is her last chance - then on to Bransom.
Bitch should just be happy her shoes, handbags are doing so well and disappear.
Um, whore can't sing for shit. HORRIBLE.
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -LA
the lyrics are stupid, but if you're just listening to it mindlessly its not all that bad...her voice sounds good at least!
poor thing...haha
".........a pair of flip flops on your feet......." Who wrote this crap?? After listening to this trainwreck, the only question I have is, "Is this chicken or is this fish?" SUCKTASTIC.
That song made me wonder why I can't be like one of those emo kids that attempt to kill themselves...
They have it so easy and they don't notice.
I would kill to be like one of them (no pun intended).
@hindsight2020:
Right on.
She sounds just like a tornado warning siren on the chorus. I had an impulse to run for the basement.
The lyrics are dumb. The vocals are dumb. The marketing's gonna be dumb.
Smells like she's got a hit.
I'm going to go out on a limb here.
The song is not bad. It doesn't fit the traditional country mold, but the big sellers in recent years have a lot of pop in their sound. Nothing new.
This song could have easily been recorded by Faith, Shania, Martina, or Carrie. It wouldn't be a stretch at all.
Thankfully, JS didn't sing with all of her usual annoying inflections this time.
Does she have a line of handbags out? Product placement. Papa Joe has it all figured out.
That was pretty bad.
Poor thing.
CD brought to you by Auto-Tune Pitch Correcting.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Damn, the lyrics are so simplistic. I hate this "modern" country music shit. It plain SUCKS.
I can't hate on Jessica. I like her.
Country music hasn't been good since 1992. They really need to split the genre. Decent country and pop crap with steel guitar in the background. This, as if any of you needed explanation, is the latter.
And so is Taylor Swift, AKA squinty mcgee
Dear Jessica:
There's a difference between Shania Twain being 'away' and 'gone'.
Either way, you are not worthy of her crown
www.myspace.com/triston
Ah, crap. I saw the title of the post and thought Heidi Montag kicked the bucket. What a disappointment to find out it isn't true!
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Cross over children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light.
God, I hate to say it, but I think this is the best she's sounded in a while. (Please note, that does NOT mean I think she sounds good!!!!) I still think the worst thing I've ever heard was her & Nick's cover of "Baby It's Cold Outside." I think all she did was breathe the words.
If you go here, you can hear it, plus the video cracks me up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA0a9JqntWo
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
She fits right in with the current trend in country music that favors blonde bimbettes over real talent. Okay, Carrie Underwood has some singing talent, but Taylor Swift? Ugh, she sounds like a cat being strangled. And could Kellie Pickler be any dumber? Jessica has finally found her natural habitat.
Johnny Cash must be spinning in his grave.
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Yeah!!! I like using the word dude. It saves me from actually having to think.
The only think that would have made that more annoying would be if she had yodelled.
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The only thing that helps pass the time away
Is knowing I'll be back at Echo Beach some day
Jessica doesn't seem to have any control over voice and this song is a great example of it. When she bursts into the chorus, her voice sounds like a trainwreck. She doesn't need to try to impress by "roaring" and trying to hit high notes like a maniac. If she would just subdue her voice a little and try to control it she wouldn't sound so horrific. Instead she just opens her mouth and unleashes her voice and lets it do its own thing.
The Simpson bitches are so fucking annoying.
she sounds good until she starts in on that chorus..ugh. But..I think country music suits her, she is never going to be a Carrie Underwood or anything though if that's what her and Poppa Joe were thinking.
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Annelle, honey, what do you say we talk some trash.
Just when I thought she couldn't get any more annoying...