This Dude Has Had Sex With 1,000 Cars
CAR SLUT! Meet Edward Smith from Washington state. He claims to have romanced around 1,000 cars and he's proud of it. Edward is pictured with his latest girlfriend, a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla. Vanilla is a slut. You can tell. Look at that way she's fucking us with her eyes. No wonder Edward can't keep his genitals off of her. She probably lets him do it in her exhaust pipe. WHORE!
He told the Telegraph, "I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change. I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."
57-year-old Edward isn't attracted to men or women. He only likes cars. It started when he was just 15 and it hasn't stopped. He also doesn't only fuck cars. His said his most "intense sexual experience" was with a helicopter from the TV show Airwolf.
Edward is not alone. He belongs to an internet forum for "car lovers."
This brings new meaning to the saying, "get her motor running."
Visit the Telegraph to read the entire interview and to learn about his other "girlfriends."
Thanks Delilah
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Seriously...isn't it against the law to leave semen on someone's car? I mean, yuck......
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shaken, not stirred
In the article, he says:
But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.
Yuck! What, does he leave his stuff on the car for someone else to clean up? Isn't there some sort of law against that?
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shaken, not stirred
Nite Lory.
Sleep tight, don't let the rodents bite.
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Go home and get your fucking shine box.
FUCK! SPAMMERS ARE MUTATING! NO WONDER WE GOT THEM UP TO OUR TITTAYS. WE HAVE TO RAID THE HOUSE STAT.
SKY, BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE RHINOS, THEY BE MEAN AND LIKE TO RUN NOSES IN THE WALLS.
NIGHT ALL.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
ok thanks for fxing. will loose this avi.
nite.
Thanks gurls;;;
headache waiting..but I wanted you to know..
I do have only a few who Know me..
I need it that way for awhile, but you and
mk have ALL my contact info. I willbe very happy to play been here 1o weeks
as long as I don't get my assed mixed up with
someone like the truly banned.
Going to go play on the ark now; hugs and thanks
Mitten
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
Lori: I would only pass out if I was a rhinocerous. Even then, my nose would have to be running. Without a runny nose, I would have to eat a litter box treat. Right?
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Go home and get your fucking shine box.
Tostadas are delicious Sky, but you have to put some glitter on them so it tastes fabulous! By the way, if I stop all of the sudden, it is not out of rudeness, it is because I just passed out on my keyboard.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
MK was drunk when he banned your ass. It happens all the time. Once he even banned his sister. Not really, but almost. Don't ask. LOL. :P
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Let me dirty up your mind.
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
sky has been known to smacka bastard should
a snarkey but effective come back be so elusive..to me.. would Never mess with da Gods//
was so upset to think I'd err boffed the girrafee.
Can I go have my headache now..if I loose the kitt? pleezzeee???
Lory: But lambs need to put on their lip gloss before they can make burritos, and if their lip gloss is pink, they can only make tostatas.
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Go home and get your fucking shine box.
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
Lory: MK knows who I am. You even have a letter
from me. honest mistake. will lose the
cat avi..didn't think about it tonght.
If you ever have any questions
I will make sure you know how to contact me.
Would be so sad if unable to come play///
that wasn't fun; thanks for taking me off
the t-list.
That sounds delicious Sky, but gyros need lamb cheese or they would be burritos.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Lory, I'm SO with you, sister.
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Go home and get your fucking shine box.
Yes, I am here, as a matter of fact I am everywhere. The Holy Ghost has nothing on me, specially when he is visiting his granny.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
gyro with mullet sauce? i'm having the same thing, as i sit here admiring the shiny bumper times. three peas in a spaceship, we are.
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Go home and get your fucking shine box.
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
Lory are you still there?
I guess it was a mistake then Mitten. You can come back as the prodigal daughter. Noe will make the ark soon and we can all get inside. Just make sure you do not sit on the giraffes. They are traitorous long necked horses.
Sky, I thought this thread had had more comments. Apparently it has stayed as I left it when I went for a gyro.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
hello?
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
Hey Lory:
I think I was banned for a bit tonight
but I swear
I am not BB or whom ever. I thought you
let me back on.
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
Lory: I was hoping you could help ME out with that.
???
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Go home and get your fucking shine box.
Hey, what did I miss? UPDATE please?
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Let me dirty up your mind.
@ Sky.. Dear Chelsea it's me vodka..
me margaret..me ...
Anyway. I just wanted you to know that
as a new person otb.. thanks for being so nice.
I know, sounds lame. Will be more observant..
I've been here awhile, by old putter up n did
die. This new AVI was not welcomed,
but you were still nice. In short: thanks
bunches.
I was getting no no messages.. got scared.
then Lory must have figured out I wasn't BB
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
Yeppers :)
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Go home and get your fucking shine box.
sky?
I'm fast in a slow kinda way - John Waters
ubmitted by Mel-Tang on May 23, 2008 - 5:52pm.
What the????
Those poor cars.
They need a lawyer.
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Those cars were ASKING FOR IT!!!! Leather/Vinyl? Room for four???? High beam headlights????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Transformers, more than meets the eye!
I guess this guy just took the cartoon a little too seriously!
...but hey at least he's getting laid! At $4 per gallon, I can concur that cars need to giving a little something more than just getting you from point A to B
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Arthur "No offense intended"
Tick "None comprehended."
What the????
Those poor cars.
They need a lawyer.
<3-------------------------------<3
Welcome to White Oprah's School of Puppetry.
Por favor, mantenganse allejado de las puertas.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on May 23, 2008 - 5:40pm.
This is too funny. Like the guy who fucked his patio table.
Yes. Patty O'table, nice Irish girl.
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Submitted by Stock Brokerlina on May 23, 2008 - 1:16pm.
That car in the pix looks like "Herbie The Love Bug".
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I was just going to post that.
I wonder if this dude shifts on the fly and has positraction...? Did he use the automatic restraint system?
This is too funny. Like the guy who fucked his patio table.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
They have to read a book to learn what to do
I keep singing "Little Red Corvette" for some reason.
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Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
There's nothing better than "sexus" with a Lexus.
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Sooooo....does he use the muffler tail pipe or the gas tank opening?
That car in the pix looks like "Herbie The Love Bug".
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Stock Broker is now Stock BrokerLINA.
he said: His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.
So he's a car sexer, and a young girl sexer.. Fucking Perv!!!
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I'm a soldier, I done told ya, don't Make me Fuck you up! Leave your head bust, I'm a head busta, man, I don't give a Fuck!
I feel bad for poor Momus the Sarcastic, scribe slave, who is going to miss all this hot chrome-on-chrome action.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
? how do you have a sex with a car?!
does he insert his penis is the muffler? ew
ah yes, the perils of anal sex.
http://sexfoodandrocknroll.blogspot.com/
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Are you shaved? Fur pie doesn't sell.
He looks good for his age, does he not?
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on May 23, 2008 - 2:33pm.
LCT- That wasn't me. The post, I mean, not the poot. Sorry.
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I have no idea what poot is but OK! High five! You know what, coming here every day to some asshole lipping people off and being a twat is getting mighty annoying. Power to all the people in here who stand up to them; I'll always have your back.
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No one has replaced the sofa batteries in the sock slots for over a week. Time to get county on the phone and pray for new tennis cans, for all of our sakes.
LCT- That wasn't me. The post, I mean, not the poot. Sorry.
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Out. For. A. Walk. BITCH.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on May 23, 2008 - 2:31pm.
LCT- What up, chickadee?
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I'm confused is what's up.
Happy Friday hotpants.
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No one has replaced the sofa batteries in the sock slots for over a week. Time to get county on the phone and pray for new tennis cans, for all of our sakes.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on May 23, 2008 - 2:29pm.
See my farewell post below.
However, I'll be back when my scribe work is completed.
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Are you Vulva? I'm confused.
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No one has replaced the sofa batteries in the sock slots for over a week. Time to get county on the phone and pray for new tennis cans, for all of our sakes.
LCT- What up, chickadee?
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Out. For. A. Walk. BITCH.
Um, HELLO!
Kizzy is here! And PSL's crazy stalker! What more do you need?
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"I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc."
Submitted by LovesCarrottopalina on May 23, 2008 - 11:27am.
See my farewell post below.
However, I'll be back when my scribe work is completed.
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Oderint dum metuant. Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (Caligula).
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Afternoon Sprained Vulva!
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No one has replaced the sofa batteries in the sock slots for over a week. Time to get county on the phone and pray for new tennis cans, for all of our sakes.
Fucking hell. Where IS everyone today?! Four day weekend whores!
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I was just wondering the same thing. Why the hell's it so quiet??
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No one has replaced the sofa batteries in the sock slots for over a week. Time to get county on the phone and pray for new tennis cans, for all of our sakes.
I was just wishing for an AJ thread.
*headdesk*
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Out. For. A. Walk. BITCH.