Thursday, May 22nd 2008
It Makes Sense
A spokesbitch for the Olsen trolls has denied the rumor that an evil barista at Starbucks has secretly been trying to fatten them up. The rumor is that a former barista at a Starbucks in NYC's West Village regularly put whole milk into the twins' Grande nonfat lattes instead of skim milk.
A source told OK! (via The Scoop), “The barista thought the Olsens were too thin, so whenever they ordered their usual drink, he would replace the skim milk with full-fat."
This explains everything. No wonder the Olsen trolls look obese.
I bet evil barista also used to work at Starbucks in L.A. I'm sure he regularly replaced the whole milk in Brit Brit's frapps with whole meth. Makes sense.
ShareThis
They should both just not smile. It's not working for either of them.
I hate coffee. That is all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Psh. Part of me wishes some barista at Starbucks would offer me a lower calorie/fat version of what I order. Then again, I'm not sure I could hang with some twelve year old who is WAY too chipper in the morning going, "Hey, chunky-munks! We offer that shit with half the fat and calories for your moo ass!" I'd probably throw my glazed donut at her and spit in the tip jar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Out. For. A. Walk. BITCH.
I've never had a latte. Are they made with coffee?
I assumed as much, which is why I've never had one. Word on the food + health issues. If I have coffee its like the worst menstrual cramps you've ever had. The kind that make you cry - doubled over. Coffee BAD!
ashley looks very pretty in these, notice how she's smiling now? Someone must have told her how gross they looked before.
i think she is actually above average pretty in this picture. i hope she keeps it up and maybe advise her sister to smile too.
something is so different about her now. the way she looks. plastic surgery? Or does a smile improve ones look just that much?
It could have been worse! Or better perhaps! Back in my coffee shop days, in a sleepy little seaside town...one of my co-worker poured what he thought was milk (from a tupper-ware pitcher as that is how we mixed the special creamer) along with the requested 18 sugars, to one salty fisherman, with missing teeth...turns out that was actually expressed breast milk from the manager! I bet that was the healthiest that guy had seen in a long time!!! (never knowing it...) makes one never want to buy food out....or sleep in hotels...I could tell some more disgusting stories of the days I was a maid!
Are you sure that this isn't one of those Before/After photos?
*************************************************
There's nothing the matter with my face. I got character!
look better, much better at close to normal weight. still look like herion addicted bobble heads. Neither fug can act.
She looks like a totally-wasted Meg Ryan in this pic.
************************************************
Oderint dum metuant. Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (Caligula).
************************************************
I think I've been to that Starbucks.
Or maybe it's the one across the corner...
or the one down the street...
or the one up the block.
The barista is pulling the same crap on me... sneaking in whole milk.
My body will never be ready for the beach by TOMORROW!
Filthybitch
the bread at subway's made outta ass dripping.
and , on topic, how can someone this FUCKING RICH have hair that FUCKING FRIED? How I ask you, how?
I may need to go chill with the amish for awhile.
-------------------------------------------------
http://s19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/christine43/?action=view¤t=...
Submitted by oklahoma on May 22, 2008 - 2:51pm.
*hangs head* *leaves*
-----------------------------------------------
honey baby!! whats wrong!?_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
They don't look that skinny to me.
*hangs head* *leaves*
-----------------------------------------------
I'm a soldier, I done told ya, don't Make me Fuck you up! Leave your head bust, I'm a head busta, man, I don't give a Fuck!
I don't get it...these young, rich celebretards seem to go out of their way to look like shit.
That gold lame number looks like something Marge from Cherry Hill would wear to the casina'.
That barista should have really lived large and replaced the skim with HEAVY cream!!!
Submitted by christine the hoff on May 22, 2008 - 3:47pm.
subway's the worst ripoff on the planet!
fucking five bucks for three paper thin slices of ham, a slice of cheese you can see through, fucking limp lettuce, a razor cut of tomato.
cheap ass mayo and musturd. fuck!
------------------------
But what about that incredible huge hunk of bread you get? That's worth at least 4.50, right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
i can't tell which twin troll is which, so i'll just say the one wearing black and looks hot appears to be holding up the troll who looks like an old woman wearing the gold...
_____________________________________________
that's twice you called me stupid...well that's twice you answered...
I can believe it. I've talked to Baristas who say they hate making the high calorie fraps and will regularly suggest and offer low fat and no whipped cream to customers who didn't ask for it. I could see someone going the opposite and adding high calorie ingredients to fatten someone up. As if just that drink will do it.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Weird, the one on the left looks like a chubby german girl who specializes in suasages and silent farts, yet the one on the right looks like a hot french socialite or something. Once again, her and ashley simpson are the only exceptions for nose jobs done right.
"YOU'D BLEED ME DRY IF YA COULD, NOW TAKE THAT TEN POUND NOTE BUY THAT KID A BONNET AND TIE IT OVER ITS FUCKING FACE"
@Filthy:
Ha hah haaa a bwahahas aaahahahhaaa!
*wipes eyes*
*crawls back onto chair*
Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
Submitted by jim on May 22, 2008 - 3:43pm.
Jim
If this here slut doesnt get some coffee in the AM i would really cut a bitch.
I mean i would CUT A BITCH!
CUT THEM!
I have a caffeine addiction :)
______________________________________________
subway's the worst ripoff on the planet!
fucking five bucks for three paper thin slices of ham, a slice of cheese you can see through, fucking limp lettuce, a razor cut of tomato.
cheap ass mayo and musturd. fuck!
-------------------------------------------------
http://s19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/christine43/?action=view¤t=...
Submitted by jim on May 22, 2008 - 2:43pm.
Why do people HAVE to go to starbucks to get coffee. Fuck make it at home, go to circle K or 7-eleven, where you don't have to fucking wait an hour a or just don't drink fucking coffee for one fucking day out of your stupid life.. you fucks!!
**
JIM♥♥
the last time I went to starfucks in the morning, some douchebag was ordering all these bags of fucking coffee beans and having the fucking "baristas" or whatever grind them IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING MORNING RUSH!!
I just about shanked a bitch I was so pissed. Took me 20 mins to get my fucking caffine fix that morning. NOT RIGHT
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
@CTH:
I will pass it along.
And I have toyed with the idea of force feeding her butter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
Ashley looks hot there but Mary Kate, oh my...
Ashley (the one that's showing teeth) actually looks good...healthy sorta.
MaryKate is starting to look like a shrivelled up homeless person...with Mickey Rourke face.
Well, just the thought of milk skeeves me out. It was bad enough my animal ass breast fed my son, until it felt like my nips were being cheese grated off. But I'm incredibly visual...so, drinking milk to me is like me sucking on a cow's teet.
Mary Kate is a retard who can't dress herself. That gold thing looks like it came off the plus-size fat rack at K-Mart.
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on May 22, 2008 - 3:37pm.
And I have to say I give a huge eyeroll whenever I hear or read the word "Barista". Gah. They make fucking coffee. That doesn't require a specialized title.
It annoys the piss out of me for some reason.
-----------------------------
I will secondly that loudly. And third it.
And for those that hate uppity Starschmucks - this is a MUST SEE video. Hell it's just a must see video in general.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JpWTjokT9mc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Gross, Coffee from the 7-eleven where its been open for 24 hrs. and the coffee hs been there for 12 hrs.. Blech!!
-----------------------------------------------
I'm a soldier, I done told ya, don't Make me Fuck you up! Leave your head bust, I'm a head busta, man, I don't give a Fuck!
Submitted by missy on May 22, 2008 - 12:38pm.
VENTI VENTI VENTI VENTI VENTI VENTI
I *TOLD* you I didn't take my meds today
♥
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
All I know is I'm the one who pays her price
Man she's no lady she's my wife
_Submitted by Sensimina on May 22, 2008 - 3:42pm.
SubWay EAT DICK!
I hate that Five dollar foot long song!
WTF does mother fuckin godfuckingzilla have to do with a sammie!
GARRRRRR BLABBLAGAHHHHHHHH!
@Sensi:
Double GAH! "Make me my fucking BMT on wheat and STFU or I'll have Jared on your ass like white on rice, bitch!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
Submitted by Sensimina on May 22, 2008 - 12:42pm.
Me too. I sometimes forget whether the condiments go inside or outside. Messy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents.
I would add whole cream and melted butter in their lattes. I am evil that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's a lot of pretty, pretty ones
That want to get you high
But all the pretty, pretty ones
Will leave you low and blow your mind
We're all stars now in the dope show
Three D
let your poor friend know that there can't be calories in nyquil, just artifical sweetners.
poor thing.
on topic
I'd like to tie her down and feed her big macs through a funnel, but why waste the wonder of a big mac?
-------------------------------------------------
http://s19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/christine43/?action=view¤t=...
Why do people HAVE to go to starbucks to get coffee. Fuck make it at home, go to circle K or 7-eleven, where you don't have to fucking wait an hour a or just don't drink fucking coffee for one fucking day out of your stupid life.. you fucks!!
DawnieDawn,
"Barista" isn't as bad as the "sandwich artists" at Subway. It actually takes a small amount of skill to make the gay ass coffee drinks everyone loves these days. It takes rudimentary motor skills to make a sandwich, and I have still seen Subway employees struggle with the concept of putting shit on a bun.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. She will still rocks.
@Sensimina--Funny as hell!! Kinda bad, and sorta wrong, but fucking funny.
Yes, I feel slightly guilty for laughing, because I know I'd hate it if someone swapped shit on me, or if this happened to my mom, who is a diabetic. Still laughed though.
************************************
♥♥ If you don't yalk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by christine the hoff on May 22, 2008 - 2:38pm.
she totally doesn't wear lipstick because she's afraid it has calories.
************************************************
HA! *dies*
Hand to God, my diet-addicted BFF called the other day to complain that NyQuil, which she uses as a sleep aid, does not print calorie content on the label.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
Oh the poor things. I hope baristas are spiking their drunks; they can't be left to run their own lives. They wouldn't know what to do with themselves. They had them up at celebrityprayerlist.com earlier
And now I want coffee...
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on May 22, 2008 - 2:37pm.
And I have to say I give a huge eyeroll whenever I hear or read the word "Barista".
**
hahahahhaaa, I hate the word "venti" even more.
Starfucks is the worst.
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
she totally doesn't wear lipstick because she's afraid it has calories.
-------------------------------------------------
http://s19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/christine43/?action=view¤t=...
Oh dear god, Mary Kate...lay off the blow!!!
__________________________________________
It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -LA
sensi....... if I bitch wants to kill herself, I wont stand in the way.
Live and let die.
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
And I have to say I give a huge eyeroll whenever I hear or read the word "Barista". Gah. They make fucking coffee. That doesn't require a specialized title.
It annoys the piss out of me for some reason.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
Submitted by Sensimina on May 22, 2008 - 3:29pm.
I used to be a barista. This ano girl, so skinny she looked like she was dying, would always come in and order fat free sugar free vanilla lattes. One day I made hers with regular syrup and heavy cream. It wasn't out of spite, something just told me to do it. I bet it was the best coffee she has ever had, poor thing.
____________________
My former stepmother actually had a degenerative disease where her liver/pancreas were failing and she couldn't digest fat. It was excruciating for her to eat even a tiny bit of it. She looked horribly anorexic, but wasn't, it was just because of her diet. But I'm sure the girl you are talking about was ano, just made me think of it. Wait, what's my point? I don't know.... ugh, will this day end???
I can't get over the fact that they're smiling. Something in the non-fat half caff latte grande ain't clean. (I know I just screwed that up)
**************************************
But then again, what do I know?
Submitted by Sensimina on May 22, 2008 - 3:29pm.
I used to be a barista. This ano girl, so skinny she looked like she was dying, would always come in and order fat free sugar free vanilla lattes. One day I made hers with regular syrup and heavy cream. It wasn't out of spite, something just told me to do it. I bet it was the best coffee she has ever had, poor thing.
***********************
She might have been ordering her drinks that way because she was diabetic, or had a digestive disease that prohibits her from consuming high fat high sugar foods. Sometimes it isn't all about weight but serious health issues.
And oh yeah, the Olsens are fugly. (Doesn't MK look kind of pregnant?)
missy
That latte probably saved that walking stick's life! Honest. She made the trollsens look like the Kirstie Alley twins.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. She will still rocks.