Is She Giving Up Fish Too?
Oprah has announced to the world that she's just started a 21-day diet detox. Oprah is going vegan for 21 days which means no animal products. That means fish too. I'm sure Gayle King has a lot of questions for her bff.
People reports that Oprah is also banning caffeine, sugar, gluten and booze. Booze?! How is that even possible? What is the point of living!? Wait, does rubbing alcohol count as booze? I heard you can get a quick buzz from that shit.
O was inspired by Kathy Freston's book Quantum Wellness. She plans to blog about the entire process.
She wrote on her website, "This 21-day cleanse gives me a chance to think about [eating] differently and see what my attachments are to certain kinds of foods – and what I'm willing to do to change. Don't know if I'm going to feel better or worse, but I'm willing to try to see if my body at least feels differently."
She's already enjoying nasty crap like strawberry rhubarb wheat-free crepes.
I would go on a 21-day detox too if I had someone cooking all my meals for me and wiping my nasty ass when I get the runny runs.
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She's 50-something, she should just give up and embrace her fatty-ness. She's worth a gazillion dollars what does she care what anybody thinks? Oprah, do yourself and all of us a favor and just cave-in to your inner-tubby. If I had her dough, I would give a rat's ass and just sit and shove all the food I want into my cake-hole.
I rant about Oprah to my family all of the time. I cannot stand to hear her talk about any diet because she is always fat! I think that's why most of her audience likes and relates to her. This latest ploy is just to lose weight--not get healthy. She will lose pounds, and then she'll gain them all back in one week. I can lose eight pounds in two weeks and gain them back in two days. It fucking sucks, but so does life.
Also, Whoopi Goldberg alluded to the fact that Oprah DID get a gastric bypass at some point but it stopped working (as it has for several public figures.) She is addicted to food and an overeater. So am I, but I'm sure as hell not taking advice from her. Bullshit.
She'll be eating potatoes fried in vegetable oil the whole time. No animals in that.
Self-imposed restrictions concerning food shouldn't receive this kind of attention. She's a billionaire CHOOSING to go vegan for a mere 21 days. This is a big kick in the face for the poor of this world who can barely afford to purchase any type of food, especially animal protein. I hope she chokes on a carrot stick.
Everything about Oprah irks me. She's such a narcissist and that makes her insufferable.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
OMG YOU GUYS! Did you see the front page of the Times this morning!?@# Not ONLY did Oprah wake up this morning and take a shit, but the shit was green!@!!@$@$ Tune into the nightly news for her press conference about it!!!!@!?#!@#?@#?@!#@!
Good for you Oprah!
You've successfully made me forget about the problems at your school in Africa.
This "cleansing" signals the end of new episodes for THIS season.
It's Oprah's annual migration from one of America's fattest cities (Chicago) to someplace where everyone is skinny.
>She wrote on her website, "This 21-day cleanse gives me a chance to think about [eating] differently ....try to see if my body at least feels differently."<
Damn, while your starving get your GED why don't you.
Submitted by oklahoma on May 22, 2008 - 3:10pm.
Submitted by RJII on May 22, 2008 - 3:04pm.
Fucking rich people. I'm sitting here wondering how I can afford groceries next month.
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Ain't that the damn truth, and this bitch is wondering which high priced chef she'll hire next month.. *stabs limo tire w/ switch-blade* Muahahahaa *runs away*
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and put a banana in the tail pipe for me. Yuckkity yuck yuck.
So has anybody gone over to Amazon.com to see if Kathy Freston's book Quantum Wellness is #1 yet? You know Kathy is jumping for joy, since Oprah just made her a rich woman.
Submitted by ricki lake on May 22, 2008 - 12:49pm.
Why would women look to Oprah for weight loss tips when she hasn't gained control over her weight after 20 years?
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HAHAHAHA, WORD!!! Double word.
Losing weight and keeping it off is hard work for a lot of people (me! me! me!) and they are looking for a magic pill.
"Oh, maybe THIS meshuge diet plan will work."
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All I know is I'm the one who pays her price
Man she's no lady she's my wife
Oprah needs to eat a low calorie dick and STFU about how her god damn body FEELS all the time!
I dodnt CARE how your body feeeeeeeeeels Satan Bitch!
Looks to me like it must feel LUMPY!
YOUR problem, not mine!
Everybody always wants to talk about how the feeeeeeeeeel. Oh i feeeeel this I feeeeeeeeel that. BLAH BLHA BLAH Feeeeeel me feeeling myself!
Fucking feel my ass and shut the hell up!
Im clearly feeeeeeeeeeeling saucey right now!
Hekki- I'm SO making omelettes for dinner tonight! Woop!
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Out. For. A. Walk. BITCH.
This bitch is so irresponsible and self-absorbed. Just get the bypass, Oprah -- believe me, it's not as bad as a 21-day fad.
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"If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway."
It's pretty easy to make a sudden lifestyle change when you have a round-the-clock personal chef making gourmet meals for you.
This is so fucking dumb. Why would you go on a 21-day CLEANSE (which, by definition, is not something you do all the time) in order to better establish life-long healthy eating habits? Oprah, no one cares about your fucking weight or loss. You're either fat, fatter, or super fat, so let's stop pretending you're ever gonna actually lose the weight for good. Why would women look to Oprah for weight loss tips when she hasn't gained control over her weight after 20 years?
OMGG..i am so sick of her. whats scary is too many people actually care about what this narcissist does...she's always been in awe of herself and expects everyone elso to be as well. vomitus
Make that a 210-day diet and it might work.
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There are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents.
That photo of her scares me. It looks like she plotting the takeover of the world.
"see what my attachments are to certain kinds of foods"
Oprah, darlng, please come over here, sit down let's chat. *patting seat of chair*
You are fifty years old, tatala, right? If you don't know what your attachments are to certain kinds of food by now, this cockamamie diet is not going to help.
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All I know is I'm the one who pays her price
Man she's no lady she's my wife
Good luck to this fat cow, she will loose about 10 pounds and gain 50 back within a month.These diets work so fucking well, just aske kirsty alley!!! Fuck just exercise, eat somewhat healthy and do as many 12 ounce curls as possible on the weekends!!!!!!!!
It's always helped me to back away from the KFC Bucket, Mac&Cheese, Corn Bread and chittlens....but now that I am Drag Queen pregnant I am eating for 2 things that are not going to happen....all because I can't get Gay Married ~~~~~~sniff, sniff,,boo hoo....ANYWAY those Omaha Steaks are highly overrated.....
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
hold on a sec.
many obese people are broke.
i thought being broke meant having fewer choices.
"a pineapple" costs more money than a fast food meal.
lets be real, if diet and exercise if important to you, you will find a way to eat properly and the time to exercise regularly.
i think oprah has a problem with binge eating- not dieting or exercising.
I always forgot the damn toilet bats!
actually, the cheaper food is, generally speaking, the worse it is for you.
think of the fast food "Value" menus.
mac and cheese, cheap. bologna.
the obese crisis in this country has a direct tie in with poverty.
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Just do the two week Evercleanse Oomprah.
Oh Okra, instead of some uppity vegan diet how about 21 days on the average Americans grocery budget diet.
Let's see how "healthy" you'd really be able to afford to eat.
Please you heifer.
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
Submitted by christine the hoff on May 22, 2008 - 2:24pm.
ahahaha the dlist exersise secret, walk to your toilet people!
let me see those boot moves!
And pay up your back ass taxes!
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And watch out for toilet bats!
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Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin world go round. ~Queen
This sounds very cultish to me. Starve the masses then feed them your "wisdom". No thank you.
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Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin world go round. ~Queen
ahahaha the dlist exersise secret, walk to your toilet people!
let me see those boot moves!
And pay up your back ass taxes!
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Submitted by missy on May 22, 2008 - 3:20pm.
Submitted by christine the hoff on May 22, 2008 - 2:13pm.
how much you wanna bet this cow considers walking to her toilet exersise?
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Look, this is my first *real* day here. Why you bitches keep picking on me?
And stop looking in my window.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula: "Why would anybody follow the word of the poster child for fad diets who, to date, hasn't had a one work for her in twenty years?"
THANK YOU.
It's my opinion that humans are omnivores and we are supposed to eat meat. Just MY opinion.
It's also my opinion that it is NOT expensive to eat healthy - it's time-consuming! TRUST me, I have healthy cheap eating down to a science. I buy VERY few boxed/canned/bagged foods and it's not that hard. But I have the luxury of being able to prepare 90% of our meals at home.
And Americans have this idea that dinner has to be meat/starch/veggie. I am perfectly happy to have an omelet or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or homemade chicken soup for dinner. Fewer calories at night = weight loss!
righ know eating is almost a luxury the food prices are super hight and they keep goin higher in the entired world, over here the rice which is something that we eat everiday in Puerto Rico is getting more expensive everiday
All the talk about White Oprah is making this bitch crazy.
Must. Do. Something. For. More. Attention.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Fuck Oprah and her GD diets. Your fat, embrace it.
I've got more important shit here to worry about, fire a blazing, encroaching to the parentals.
I may be outtie soon.
Submitted by christine the hoff on May 22, 2008 - 2:13pm.
how much you wanna bet this cow considers walking to her toilet exersise?
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thats my excercise routine :-|
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"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
oprah is one of those folks who are meant to be bigger.
when she lost all that weight on the bahamian diet, she looked terrible. her face looked drawn and grayish, her eyes had large bags underneath.
we all cant be a size zero or even a size 10.
but if you are eating properly and exercising regularly, it's all good.
She is one of the richest women in the world yet the ONE thing she can not buy? A slim healthy YOUNG body! Remember when she showed up in her size 10 Calvin jeans? She has been fighting the fat her whole life.....what a shit life that all she can worry about is her damn weight.
and on not being able to afford groceries
WORD
I couldn't fucking believe it, asparagus is in season here and it was five BUCKS A POUND
i paid buck fifty for a small lettuce.
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Hey... the way I look at it... it just means more animal products, fish, caffeine, sugar, gluten and booze for ME!
A LOT MORE.
You know what? I want this bitch to pay me the 600 dollars a month I spend on gas. God I hate her. I wish she could spend a day or two in the shoes of normal people who can't afford shit, let alone a personal chef so she can do a special diet that she'll fuck up anyway.
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
how much you wanna bet this cow considers walking to her toilet exersise?
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I was going about my business the other day and had the tv on. Deepak Oprak happened to be on with Dr. Oz., and this woman asked him if having 8-18 orgasms a day was bad for your health. You know how she does that annoying thing where if she says something and the audience laughs, then she does it 500 times? Well, Oprah simulated about 12 of those 8-18 orgasms.
Oprah: "So, you have multiple orgasms. Lawd! OOOOHHHH!!"
Audience: "Hahahaha!"
Oprah: "OOOOOHHHH!!!"... ad infinitum.
Then my head exploded. Oprah is evil.
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But then again, what do I know?
I'm investing in vegetarian products. They're going to fly off the shelves until she bloats up again. Then we'll move on to something else.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
you can have a burger , but instead of ground beef use Turkey meat , instead of bred use pita, and low-fay cheese
OMG Missy *doing party dance* Soo glad you got it.. I'll go back and check that part just to read the love notes. glad you seen that episode. That boy was soo cute, and she was so mean to him.. i wanted to fucking stuff a chicken down her throat.. She was mean to her kids too..
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I'm a soldier, I done told ya, don't Make me Fuck you up! Leave your head bust, I'm a head busta, man, I don't give a Fuck!
Oprah and yo-yo'd up and down in weight so may times. It would have been more healthy for her to have stayed fat.
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"I've never felt this healthy before, I never wanted something rational- I am aware now"
- Alanis Morisette "Head over Feet"
Okay I know this was coming, another diet from that fat fug pig. Oprah, the whole world doesn't revolve around you, in case you haven't noticed. You are fat again because you like to feed your fat big mouth. And you are so ugly, I can't explain how ugly you are. When you are on your show when you have makeup artists who probably pay you millions, and the lighting directors who try to make you look good, take a good look at yourself when you are not on that show. You are ugly though and through. You make me sick Oprah.
Submitted by RJII on May 22, 2008 - 3:04pm.
Fucking rich people. I'm sitting here wondering how I can afford groceries next month.
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Ain't that the damn truth, and this bitch is wondering which high priced chef she'll hire next month.. *stabs limo tire w/ switch-blade* Muahahahaa *runs away*
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I'm a soldier, I done told ya, don't Make me Fuck you up! Leave your head bust, I'm a head busta, man, I don't give a Fuck!
Submitted by oklahoma on May 22, 2008 - 2:01pm.
did anyone ever watch that Trading Spouses episode where that Vegan was on there.. She was a BITCH.. her kids were so pale and weak. Then she ended up tasting that crocodile when she visited Louisiana and her family got pissed b/c being Vegan was her idea and rules. She was so mean to that La. boy.. and that little boy said "lemme put it to you like-a this.. You're FIRED" Bwahahahaa..
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YES!! I TOTALLY SAW THAT ONE!!! that lady was a GRADE A USDA CHOICE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved the little southern kid, he rocked.
and yes mama I got the mail today ♥♥ I told you earlier.. and I also said I LOVE YOU!!!
ON OPRAH:
HEY OPRAH!! I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHATS GOING IN YOUR MOUTH OR OUT YOU ASSHOLE!
and it pains me that so many do :(
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"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Diets dont work nobody is goin to be in a diet forever,you need to find away of making the food you like in a healthy way