Cue The Laugh Track

Two girls told Life & Style that Vince Vaughn turned down a threesome with them. Like that ball of dough would ever turn down a threesome.

Sisters Liza and Suzi Graves said they met Vince at Velvet Margarita bar in LA last week. Suzi said that her sister dared her to ask Vince if he wanted to have a threesome. She said, "On the dance floor, we made eye contact, and I pinched his butt. When he turned around, I said, 'I just wanted to say you're hilarious!' He looked surprised and said, 'You don't think that's been used on me before?'"

When she asked if he wanted to do sexay times with them, Vince said, "No, honey, that won't be happening tonight."

Oh please! This is what really happened. Vince accepted their threesome proposal, but wanted to hit up an all-you-can-eat Korean buffet first. When he finally woofed down his 28th BBQ pork leg, they went back to his hotel. Vince got undressed and the girls immediately started going into violent convulsions. They threw up everything they've ever eaten. Vince quickly put his velvet robe on and gave the girls $1,000 each to forget this whole little thing. He threw in another couple grand if they told a tabloid he was the one who turned him down.

I'm the biggest slut the world has ever seen and I still wouldn't hit that. Ok, yes I would. Only for the free Korean BBQ!