Birthday: September 19, 1973
Age: 35
Birth Name: Donald Henson

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 25, 2008
Claim to Fame: Jeremy was a pop twink in the 90s who tried to be the next big thing in music or some shit, but only ended up being jack off material.

Where is he now? When the whole music thing didn't work out, Jeremy became an actor. He played a gay druggie in Gregg Araki's "Nowhere" and Drew Barrymore's dream pretty boy in "Never Been Kissed." According to IMDB, he's doing some movie next year. Unfortunately, it's not porn. Or even soft-core porn.

Why is he HS of the Week? One of the only things I ever stole as a teenager was an issue of Bop magazine with a topless picture of Jeremy Jordan. That shit was my everything until it got into a little accident and I had to throw it away. I should've laminated it.

I just finished watching Brit Brit's not-documentary "For the Record" which really should've been called "Buy This Record" because it felt like a 70-minute infomercial to trick me into feeling sorry for her ass. It worked. If there was an 800-number at the bottom of the screen asking me to donate $10 to the "Make Bwit Bwit Smile 4Ever" Foundation, I would've called it.

You know, but I think there's a reason why she's crazy in the brains. Towards the end, Daddy Spears dresses up for Halloween and basically Brit Brit's boys' piss shit, because they are so scared of him. If he wore the same serial killer clown costume for Brit when she was a little Cheetoling, it would explain everything. Where the hell do you even buy that shit? The John Wayne Gacy Costume Shop?

During the rest of the infomercial, Brit tried to pull at my heart veins by talking about how she just wants to smell the crisp air at The Grove like normal people. Or go to the grocery store with her babies like Jessica Alba. She didn't really go into detail about her"moment of craziness." When asked why she shaved her head, she answered, "people shave their heads every day." Did she even look at the footage of her shaving her own head? This was not just a Sunday afternoon visit to the barber shop. She was doing it because the voice in her head (Chester Cheetah) told her to do it.

Basically, I learned that being famous sucks. And being addicted to fame sucks even more.

The most horrifying moment of this shit was Vadge's face! In the clip below, Vadge greets Brit backstage before her show in L.A. You can tell that Brit has no idea what she's looking at. She's trying to decide if that's a real person talking to her or if it's an animatronic character from Chuck E. Cheese. No wonder Vadge has no body fat. She probably burns 4,000 calories from all the energy it takes to blink just once.

This would've been sexy if it was Joey instead of Donne - Towleroad

Natalie Portman is a slut - Egotastic!

Sticky fingers Wino strikes again - IDLYITW

Ew. Will somebody please just put their fist into Heigl's face! - Just Jared

Are these the two turkeys Bush pardoned? - Popsugar

Ginger Spice shows her ass off for the children - Hollywood Tuna

Sienna Miller still has one friend - Lainey Gossip

Nicole Richie is a pussy blocker - Hollywood Rag

Leslie Hall and her gem sweaters are awesome - Cityrag

Annalynne McCord is not a lesbian, she's just an attention whore (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

The NSFW version is after the jump. JUMP!!!

DOUCHE ALERT! Put your dirty 'ginas in the air for a free wash!

Dax Dix Shepard was at Disneyland with his way more famous girlfriend Kristen Bell when he spotted a pap taking pictures of them while they were on "It's A Small World." Dax immediately gave the pap the douchebag salute! The hot lady's face in front of Dix speaks for all of us. She's thinking, "Dick, please!"

It's kind of fucking endearing that Dix thinks the paps actually care about him. They were obviously trying to get pictures of that Veronica Mars chick. They probably don't even know who he is! They figured he was just some dirty piece she picked up while getting an oil & filter change at Jiffy Lube. Seriously, he looks like he smells like motor oil, Axe body spray and Pall Malls.

If Mary-Kate Olsen is fucking pregnant, then I better go to the vet, because I might have immaculately conceived a litter of Spaghetti Cat's kittens. If that evil troll can get knocked up, anybody can.

Some obvious jokester told the National Enquirer (via PC) that MK is carrying the little troll child of boyfriend Nate Lowman. The joke-teller said, "Mary-Kate has been looking a lot rounder recently. It is good she has put on weight, because she previously suffered from anorexia, but a lot of people think she could actually be attempting to hide her pregnancy. She is really happy with Nate and is very excited they will soon be starting their family together"

She apparently weighs 102lbs now. Yes, 102. What a fucking lard ass, right? If she weighs 102, she's obviously pregnant with 4 baby elephants. Or maybe she drank too much of her own saliva? Either or.

I mean, I don't even think she has baby making parts down there! Trolls don't fuck! They get their kicks by rubbing squirrel bones together while chewing on wet bark. I refuse to believe this shit, until I see her posing with this on the cover of People Magazine.

When I saw these pictures of Saint Angie Jo shopping in New Orleans, "Man in the Mirror" started blasting in my head. Seriously, if she was wearing pajama bottoms, a black blazer and a surgical mask, she'd be Jacko! Well, Jacko without the moves. I bet you Maddox out-moonwalks her ass.

And Angie's not wearing shoes. She's barefoot. Saints don't have toes. It's a little known fact.

Here's Saint Jacko and Maddox going to a toy store. Maddox is working the shit out of that off-the-shoulder look. His little allowance bag probably has more money in it than all of our checking account combined. They pay for shit using solid gold coins.

The weekend is over, but here's a reason to keep the boozing going. NYC is celebrating the 75th anniversary of the Bloody Mary today! Just pull your boss aside, whisper in their ear that you have a "bloody situation" to deal with and then quietly shuffle off to the nearest bar. Hey, you wouldn't be lying!

The drink was invented by Frenchie Ferdinand Petiot in Manhattan in 1933. Although, some say he created the drink in the 1920s in Paris. The details don't matter! It was originally called the Red Snapper, because calling it bloody was too gross in the olden days. Honestly, the name does make me think of the gruesome maxi-pads my sister used to leave in our bathroom growing up. I will never forget when the dog got to them..... Ugh! Why am I going there? This is supposed to be about delicious booze!

Anyway, in honor of this special day, there will be a special toast in Times Square this morning. Several bars in the tri-state area will also give out Blood Marys for free. AND TGI Friday's will sell you a Blood Mary for 99 cents (1930s prices).

I'm not sure exactly which bars are giving out Bloody Marys, but just do like I'm going to do. Take a glass to all your neighborhood bars and say, "Happy Blood Mary Day! Now fill'er up!" It's like Halloween for drunks!

VIA Gothamist

Michael Phelps' piece of the moment has a talent with belts - Mollygood

Rosie O's variety show tanked - Celebitchy

Brit Brit really owes Photoshop an extra-long handjob for making her look like this - ICYDK

The Fame remake can't get much worse - SOW

Heidi Klum keeps her teeth in a bag. So do I! The dudes like it - Holy Moly!

Reese Witherspoon is over Christmas - Socialite Life

Spanx for dudes! - The Frisky

The original Tracy Turnblad can't believe she was fat - I'm Not Obsessed

Well, there's only one problem with that. I don't think the Pregnant Dude wants to be left alone. You know, when he first came on the scene, I felt a little overprotective of him. The more I look at him, the more he's really starting to look like my dad. I know I called him "hot" before, but I take that all back (times ten), because he now reminds me of my dad. And my dad pretty much always looked 8-9 months pregnant. But he didn't have a baby in there. He had a fucking brewery growing in his belly.

I go back and forth with this whole situation. At first, I applauded Pregnant Dude because I felt he was just telling the world that some bitches are different and there's nothing wrong with that. I didn't mind that he posed half-nekkid for magazines or gave interviews. I didn't even blink when he said he was writing a book about the whole thing. But then he announced that he was knocked up again and started doing the talk shows round. I mean, in the pictures above from Friday, he's on his way to a TV show in Spain. What's next? A reality show? A recording contract? And then before we know it he's going to be flashing his genital parts while getting out of cars in front of Villa.

But then again, I'd rather see paparazzi pictures of him than a million pictures of MileyVanessaHudgensTisdale or any of those other dumb whores. I don't know. I'm torn.

You know what has offended me about these pictures? The Louis Vuitton bag! Come on, Pregnant Dude! Have some taste! If he's going to be whoring himself out, he needs a stylist!