American Idol: Are We There Yet?
When is this madness ending?! Yes, I know I don't have to watch American Idol, but I DO have to watch it. I've come this far and I have to finish what I've started even if my soul suffers. It's like a bad relationship. I have to see it through until the end. Thankfully, the end is near!
David Archuleta is so white that he's practically transparent. This is why he should NEVER say or sing the words "my boo" or "little mama." This is what happens when daddy isn't in charge. David ends up singing songs like Chris Brown's With You. My abuelita could have sang that shit with more soul and she would have backed it up and dropped it low.
Dlisted reader Kristin wrote this to me recently, "I think the problem with David Archuleta is that he hasn't lost his baby teeth yet." Kristin is right. I don't think he's gone through puberty yet. Shit, I don't think he ever will! Whenever he sings love songs, he's probably singing them to his pet turtle.
Basically, Syesha Mercado's twat could have sang the "Star Spangled Banner" on pitch and she still will be going home tonight. The poor thing doesn't have a chance in Paula Abdul hell to make it to the final 2.
Hopefully, I'm wrong and Syesha stays tonight. I would love to see the smug look on David Cook's face get slapped off by Gaycrest. It won't happen. Syesha is done. This time next year, she'll be the first standby in a dinner theater production of The Wiz.
Here's David Archuleta doing something he should never EVER do again.
Anybody hear his voice break when he said "heart"?
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Hello, I'm the gate
The worst ever ad is for I think Optimum Online. There's a Puerto Rican guy rapping with a bunch of bikini-clad girls singing the phone number. To complete this lovely vision, there's also a guy in a lobster suit. And it lasts about a minute and a half.
Giuseppe Franco ads are right up there for annoying, too.
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"Will you lick my swizzle stick?"
I can't stand this kid. He sings basically two notes and they're flat. Syesha really should be second. She should have chosen a Natasha Bedingfield song instead of "Fever" last night.
"My abuelita could have sang that shit with more soul and she would have backed it up and dropped it low."..........MK, this is yet another example of why I will always love you! You complete me.
Someone say monchichi?
Because that's what that gaspy lil' boy totally reminds me of.
I see thousands of hours of intense therapy ahead of him.
And Billy Mays is kinda hot, actually. I'll bet he yells "KABOOM!" during sexy times.
Submitted by Rishkin on May 14, 2008 - 9:15am.
Ahahaha, Your Mom Ate th
Sadly, my daughter and I know every word to that commercial.
We goof on each other all the time with that.
But don't forget...877,393,4448..optimum commercial, haha
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LOL, I actually like the optimum commercial! "Optimum voice--call your mom, call your date. Call all you want, from state to state!"
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I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on May 14, 2008 - 10:03am.
Mel-Tang: Oh, I already found a couple. He hates the Jared commercials, and then there's this other commercial about buying cars where a guy's with his wife/girlfriend looking at an ad in the paper for a used car and the guy's like "this is a real classic!" and then they show the actual car and it looks like shit and the door falls off and he sarcastically goes, "...a REAL classic" while shaking his head.
I'm always like, "look, baby...it's your favorite commercial!" and then I turn the volume up super-high. *evil laugh*
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Ahahaha, Your Mom Ate th
Sadly, my daughter and I know every word to that commercial.
We goof on each other all the time with that.
But don't forget...877,393,4448..optimum commercial, haha
Mel-Tang: Oh, I already found a couple. He hates the Jared commercials, and then there's this other commercial about buying cars where a guy's with his wife/girlfriend looking at an ad in the paper for a used car and the guy's like "this is a real classic!" and then they show the actual car and it looks like shit and the door falls off and he sarcastically goes, "...a REAL classic" while shaking his head.
I'm always like, "look, baby...it's your favorite commercial!" and then I turn the volume up super-high. *evil laugh*
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I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
1. My husband and I were rolling on the floor laughing when he busted out with "I need you Boo."
2. Those yogurt commercials make me sooooo angry!
3. DA is totally homo. And a mouth breather.
YourMom, you have to subtly find out which commercial he hates so you can do it back to him. LOLOLOL
My husband absolutely CRINGES and I can see the hate in his eyes when anything with Oprah comes on.
He just has the look of puke/disgust when he hears her voice. hahaha
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"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by m on May 14, 2008 - 9:51am.
"Truly Awful Music" is damn right!
So here's the deal... I don't know a single person who likes this kid, so where are the votes coming from?
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The votes are probably coming from my mother. She is in denial about DA. She thinks he is just the cutest thing, and tells me all about his "wonderful" voice. I want to vomit after listening to her gush.
She's also in denial that he might be gay.
Off Topic: I'm glad to see those Yoplait commercials annoy other people too.
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God be with you, dumbass.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:40am.
YourMom, YES!!
It really bothered me on one of the commercials years ago when the white chick got her hair cut so short she looked like a monchichi.
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I just can't stand their voices and their stupid "good" schtick. I mean, can't they frigging talk about anything else in any other manner but that? It makes me want to run them over with an 18-wheeler.
And on top of it, every time the commercial comes on my bf will turn the volume up extremely high just to piss me off even more, the bastard.
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I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on May 14, 2008 - 8:16am.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:11am.
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Every time I wear jewelry, my five year old asks if I got it at Jared. Kill me.
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My bf HATES those Jared commercials. One time, a friend of his kept texting him all day with "he went to Jared" because he had seen the commercial earlier in the day and knew my bf hated it and wanted to break his balls. Ah, good times.
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I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
YourMom, YES!!
It really bothered me on one of the commercials years ago when the white chick got her hair cut so short she looked like a monchichi.
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"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Jebus, NAMBLA must be secretly running American Idol. Fucking Forest Gump is going to win this shit.
Again, I'm so fucking glad I don't watch this show.
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When life stops being worth it, is it time to quit?
Submitted by von3248 on May 14, 2008 - 8:12am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on May 14, 2008 - 8:07am.
LMAO! I hate those two bitches from that yogurt commercial too! "Better than sex good..." "Lets go shopping good..." I am like SHUT UP!!!!!
But I like that car commercial where the couple are looking at a car that they want to buy and everytime they get near the car, the horn goes off. And then they show the guy who bought the car standing up their with the salesman, pressing the button to make the horn blow everytime the couple approach the car. I laugh my ass off when I see that commercial...but half the time I am stoned when I see that commercial, in all fairness.
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I loved, loved, LOVED those Red Stripe commercials with the Jamaican guy who's like, "Boo, large-headed friend," or "Boo, unexpected room of evil! Hooray, beer!"
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I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
modianos, lololololol
My son hates everything with Billy Mays. He actually covers his ears and changes the tv with his feet. hahaha
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"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:09am.
YourMom, I hate those commercials too. lol
I just want to yell at those two ladies that they are losers always sitting at the damn wedding complaining about everything.
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Ugh, the white chick with the short hair is the worse one. She's got that GD valley girl voice that makes me want to go on a bloody rampage. "It's like, taking these heels off, gooood." DIE, BITCH!
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I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
Mel-Tang-yes Carnie is way big again. She seems to struggle with so much. Lots of baggage there. No pun intended.
oh von, it was disgusting. I heard it on CNN yesterday.
They said that in many of the nations top ball parks, there were hundreds of violations found in the kitchens where they cook the hot dogs, etc.
They found rat droppings all over the food and containers, and other nasty things.
I almost vommed when I heard it. I'm a vegetarian, so I don't eat hot dogs, but I love popcorn, etc.
EWWWWWWW
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 7:11am.
I also hate the Countrywide home loan commercials with that stupid old man that keeps saying "cash."
And my six yr. old HATES the Oxy-Clean commercials with Billy Mays. I asked him why and he said 'because the man keeps yelling instead of talking.'
LMAO
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im with you son...i cringe when those commercials come on cuz im so sick of that grizzly adams wannabe screaming at me!! i kinda like the ones for sonic tho...break FEAST lol
hey mel? are you HOOOONGRY? :) and with that im goin back to bed...have some good stuff for me to read when i get up!! lol
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OKAY SO MADE RIGHT NOW MADE EYES AND Y'ALL CAN CRACK AND PACK MY SALLY SACK! - yall know who 3/08
Mel-Tang
What story about the ballpark food?
**getting my barf bag ready**
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"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
von, I don't think I would ever eat again if I knew what truly goes on behind the scenes. lol
I almost fell over when I heard the story about ball park food.
EW.
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:21am.
Yes! That's it!!! They ARE eating the cereal while they make it! Gross.
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"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on May 14, 2008 - 8:16am.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:11am.
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Every time I wear jewelry, my five year old asks if I got it at Jared. Kill me.
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I am sorry, but that is hillarious! LMAO
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"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
von, LMAO
Is that the Quaker Oats commercial? And the ladies with the hair nets are always eating it, too?
I'm always like, ew, I don't want you to eat while you are manufacturing my food. hahaha
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
"Truly Awful Music" is damn right!
So here's the deal... I don't know a single person who likes this kid, so where are the votes coming from? Are his (fewer) fans just more pathetic and able to stand hitting redial for seven hours after each show? Because I don't get how he's still around. Conspiracy!
justjane, she is?????????
I haven't seen her for a while. She was on all these shows after she had it done and was saying what a miracle it was, blah blah blah.
I was seriously considering getting it because I thought all of these people had success with it.
Guess not...
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:11am.
I used to hate those one commercials where they'd be in a cereal factory showing the people with hairbonnets on their heads and safety glasses on their faces making breakfast cereal. I used to always think to myself: a) No one really working in a cereal factory is really that damn happy
b) why the hell do think that showing THESE PEOPLE would make me want to eat their cereal?
I also used to hate those Quiznos commercials where they had that "rat" or whatever the hell it was trying to get you to eat Quiznos. WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING? That "thing" used to make me feel fucking sick to my stomach just looking at it.
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"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:11am.
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on May 14, 2008 - 8:16am.
Every time I wear jewelry, my five year old asks if I got it at Jared. Kill me.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
That is so freaking cute. hahahaha
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Mel-Tang, let's not forget the poster child for the surgery...Carnie Wilson. Poor thing is a whale again
I like the commercial where the couple goes on vacation and they are in the hotel, and everytime the husband tries to say something, a jackhammer goes off (from hotel construction). I think it's for Travelocity or Trip Advisor or something like that.
I've been in that situation before, so I think that's why I find it so funny.
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:11am.
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Every time I wear jewelry, my five year old asks if I got it at Jared. Kill me.
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She don't eat meat, but she sure like the bone.
justjane, I didn't know Randy had that surgery! He did gain weight again. I was wondering how he got so skinny so fast.
I haven't seen Al Roker lately, so I don't know. Star looks like she put on a few pounds, but she looks better than she did when she was thinner. A little bit of fat looks good on people.
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on May 14, 2008 - 8:07am.
LMAO! I hate those two bitches from that yogurt commercial too! "Better than sex good..." "Lets go shopping good..." I am like SHUT UP!!!!!
But I like that car commercial where the couple are looking at a car that they want to buy and everytime they get near the car, the horn goes off. And then they show the guy who bought the car standing up their with the salesman, pressing the button to make the horn blow everytime the couple approach the car. I laugh my ass off when I see that commercial...but half the time I am stoned when I see that commercial, in all fairness.
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"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
Isn't it weird how so many gastric bypass patients, i.e. Randy Jackson, put the lbs. back on?
I thought it would be hard to get heavy again after the procedure...but a lot of these folks manage to do it. Risky, invasive surgery doesn't seem to have such a great long-term success rate.
Waiting for Star to balloon back up.
I also hate the Countrywide home loan commercials with that stupid old man that keeps saying "cash."
And my six yr. old HATES the Oxy-Clean commercials with Billy Mays. I asked him why and he said 'because the man keeps yelling instead of talking.'
LMAO
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
YourMom, I hate those commercials too. lol
I just want to yell at those two ladies that they are losers always sitting at the damn wedding complaining about everything.
<3-------------------------------<3
"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Triscuit on May 14, 2008 - 7:51am.
Okay,I am really sorry but I have to get this out.It is WAAAAAY off topic.
Did anyone ever see that motherfucking commercial for some fucking weight loss cookie?
UUghh."Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? I stole....."aaaagh.I will wake up out of a dead fucking sleep to turn the channel when that comes on.It literally makes my stomach turn.
Anyone have that kinda reaction to a commercial or should I seek help?
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You know those Yoplait commercials with those two girls who constantly blab about how everything is "this" good and "that" good? Well, I'd like to shove yogurt-filled spoons up their annoying asses.
And that other yogurt commercial where the woman goes to a tailor to get her clothing taken in and she confuses the hell out of the tailor by saying she's been eating all these fattening things but it's only that she's been eating yogurt flavored like fattening things and the tailor's like, "so you need them taken out," and the dumb bitch is like, "no, in. See I was just outside, and now I'm in." I curse at the screen when this commercial comes on. My boyfriend thinks I'm nuts.
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I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
this season sucked balls. none of the contestants has any charisma or star power. and yes david looks 11, maybe 12. can't believe he's 17.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on May 14, 2008 - 8:00am.
Thanks. For a sec, I thought it was just me picking up on the "jazz hands" vibe.
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"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
He's a eunuch I think.
He seems 12, not 17. And was wondering what the hell is wrong with those girls screaming? Disturbing.
Submitted by von3248 on May 14, 2008 - 8:56am.
Yes this boy is gay, and Broadway Clay Aiken gay! I think they tell the girls in the front to swoon for the cameras. And Randy is fat but I have no clue how fat he used to be.
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Never fall in love with an Englishman. They will charm you, steal your heart then stomp all over you. Worst of all they are immune to your pain suffering and tears. ~ Based on a true story
This show is still on the air?
Why?
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Stock Broker is now Stock BrokerLINA.
OK. He has a nice voice, but I have some questions after seeing that clip: why the hell is he singing R&B when he (obviously) hasn't a soulful bone in his body? what beat was he rocking to (because from where I was sitting, he was seriously off beat)? why are girls screaming for him (I don't watch the show, but based upon the clip, I thought he was gay...and not that "hot" kind of gay where he's so hot that you don't give a damn...I mean he seems Clay Aiken gay)? why is American Idol still on? Is Randy still "skinny" or did he gain it all back yet?
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"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle..."
-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Norvell (June 1807)
Triscuit- hahahaha. Yes, that is White Oprah! I luuuurve her and her goofy ass faces.
I have a whole collection of them. tee hee.
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"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
That little wienny boy gives me the creeps. If life were fair syesha would win but it ain't and she ain't got a chance.......I've quit watching I don't care who wins, but if they won't the majority of the "fans" to ever watch again Cook has got to win by default.
Life's a b!tch and so am I.
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site "W e a l t h y R o m a n c e. co m" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
Triscuit!! LMAO. I didn't see that commercial, but I want to shoot the t.v. when that friggin' botox commercial comes on. I FUCKING HATE that lady on there and her stupid ass faces.
First of all, she's annoying as all hell, and second, no one on botox can make that many faces. It's all lies.
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"He's on a mission to destroy me."
--Dina Lohan on Michael Lohan
Submitted by Mel-Tang on May 14, 2008 - 8:53am.
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Is that White Oprah in your avvie?
Cause if it is you always have some kick~ass embarassing pics of her stupid self.LOL