Wednesday, May 7th 2008
We've All Been There
Somebody had too many kamikaze shots. A pap claims Kelly Osbourne was escorted out of a club in London, because she couldn't stand up! That's why bars have bathrooms! You lock yourself in a stall and take a little nap. If a bathroom stall isn't available, nap under a table. The kicks from the people above will rock you to sleep.
Kelly managed to get home, but the paps say she almost exposed her coochie while falling out of her cab. She walked across the street to her house and walked into a wall. Been there, done that. At least she got into her house. There's been times where I got drunk and lost my house keys in the bar! It's hard trying to sleep off the booze in a hallway or in bushes.
Wenn
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Nitty- Now we all know where you're at, you slut! :P
Regarding the whole "how can someone stand to look like that" thing, obviously someone who is overweight has issues with food, is probably and emotional eater and it's not as black and white as just "wanting" to be thin. Sometimes being overweight is a state of mind. Nobody probably truly wants to be fat, but not everybody has the strength and willpower to stop being so. Many, many more things at hand than a simple want, IMO.
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There are three types of people in this world.
Those who can count, and those who can't.
Hey at least her cabbie dropped her off at the right place and infront of it.
Not a half fucking mile down the street!!
*mumbling to self*
*fucking stupid cabbie*
*looks over body of healing bruises and scraps*
*mumbles more curse words*
his vagina probably looks like two bright marshmallows. StaPuff - LOL
Dude looks like he had a ball.
Uvula - LMAO! Noted! No stall nappies when at Benningans.
LOL.
Submitted by kaiserin on May 7, 2008 - 11:25am.
OMG whatever shall I do? I don't have the perfect proportions and symmetry of a Michaelangelo sculpture. Where's Dr. Kevorkian?!?!?!
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I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on May 7, 2008 - 1:24pm.
Believe it or not, I myself do not have thin legs either. They are pretty damned big, but they are muscle, and don't have all that lumpy fat and shit going on. She will probably never be a size 0, and that is perfectly OK, but she CAN be bigger, yet toned and healthy looking. There is a difference between being a bigger sized girl, and a fat girl, and Kelly currently is pretty fat. And no she shouldn't kill herself, but she SHOULD take better care of herself. Shit, EVERYONE can stand to do that! If she has cellulite after that, then so be it, at least she'll be more toned and healthy, which is only a positive thing.
Oh, is that you in your avvie? If it is, you look so familiar! (And you're pretty too!)
I hate this whore. Bitch is a useless, vile dog. Bitch needs to put out of her fucking misery - ha, just make her stay out in the sun for a few hours - that would kill the fat pig!
~*~In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey,
Dont you know that I love you?
In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby,
Dont you know that Ill always be true?~*~
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on May 7, 2008 - I got myself, my boss and the VP of my company sent on our way.
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Um, ISMU, hon...MK said NAP, not having a threesome! LMAOOO
~~Sometimes common sense isn't common enough~~
Mrs K- I think I owe you something enjoyable
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"In other news, a bubble gum wrapper blew across Santa Monica Blvd."-Deb
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on May 7, 2008 - 1:29pm.
LOL!!!!!
note to self: Benningans isnt drunk friendly
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by M.E. on May 7, 2008 - 1:26pm.
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The Bennigan's in Santa Clara will kick a motherfucker's ass out for taking a drunken nap in the bathroom. Assholes.
I got myself, my boss and the VP of my company sent on our way.
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There are three types of people in this world.
Those who can count, and those who can't.
WHA?? Missy, That is funny.. Trolls are whack! yeah, i would have kept that title too.. Not mean at all, but cool!!
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I got Pills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power they're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
Submitted by kaiserin on May 7, 2008 - 11:25am.
I just honestly cannot understand the mindset of being OK with looking like that.
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I honestly cannot understand the mindset of
not getting over it and moving on to more important things.
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I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something.
kaiserin- okay, that makes me feel better.... I thought you were going all fashion industry on our asses.
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"In other news, a bubble gum wrapper blew across Santa Monica Blvd."-Deb
M.E
;0)
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
T-Shirt design: by 14
From the new Assley collection.
"My Heart Belongs to Daddy"
Get yours for $9.99 at Wet Beaver
This is why when I want to get stinkin' drunk, I do it in the privacy of my home.
okie - hell no she wasnt mean.. neither am I!! But some troll once was like "Snowpiece youre the meanest bitch on dlisted. Well, you and Missy"
We liked the title so we went with it :)
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Miss Priss on May 7, 2008 - 10:17am.
"That's why bars have bathrooms! You lock yourself in a stall and take a little nap"
LMAO MK!!! been there DONE that!
For real. One time went out with my BFF and we got so trashed, especially me, I couldn't even stand straight. I went in the bathroom and locked myself in a stall, yup, took a nap, I was passed to fuck out! People kept knocking on the stall door I kept yelling leave me alone! Fuck you! LOL
(im usually a nice drunk)
My friend kept coming in and out of the bathroom telling me how fun the party was out there. By them time I felt better, the party was ovah. Those were the days
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
I passed out in a bathroom once. Went to go visit a friend who was a bartender. Fucker got me plastered. Found me passed out in the stall, called my BF (hub now) to come get me, hub laid me in the bathroom, cuz I guess I started puking on the way home. Woke up the next morning feeling like SHIT, covered in puke, in a bed of towels feeling like SHIT.
Submitted by platypus on May 7, 2008 - 12:20pm.
*resists responding to kaiserin*
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Me, too.
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To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. Bernadette Devlin
Submitted by platypus on May 7, 2008 - 1:20pm.
*resists responding to kaiserin*
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LOL, probably a smart move. We all know I have "issues" with weight. But honestly I'm not trying to be a bitch, I just honestly cannot understand the mindset of being OK with looking like that. She does NOT look healthy AT ALL, and not just because she's fat. She's just saggy and cellulite-ridden, and deathly pale. I'm also not saying you have to be a size 0 to look good....Danielle Fishel (Topanga) is a great example of a bigger girl who is beautiful and healthy looking...so is Liv Tyler's sister. I just don't get all the cellulite and fat rolls and shit. THAT is what is confusing to me, not being bigger sized but well-proportioned. I probably should have mentioned that beforehand, huh?
Missy.. Really? I didn't think snowpiece was all that mean.. I guess we were all on the same side, so that's why I didn't notice.. LOL..
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I got Pills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power they're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
Submitted by jim on May 7, 2008 - 11:18am.
Boy she is reaaaaaaaaaaaaally lookin good, the white ass skin, yellow teeth, fat ass legs and the nice dike haircut looks super hot..ho!!
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OMFAO
kaiserin
Kelly could starve herself, exercise like a fiend, and throw up after every meal, she is NEVER going to have thin legs. It's called genetics.
Perhaps she SHOULD just kill herself.
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I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something.
Missy and M.E. Amen, Sisters! And why is she alone? I've NEVER been shitfaced leaving some place alone. That's what normal people have friends for, so they can knock someone out for taking pics of you like this. Either that or so they can blackmail you into paying their rent for the next month or two!
~~Sometimes common sense isn't common enough~~
Submitted by kaiserin on May 7, 2008 - 1:17pm.
♥ :)
since snowpiece is gone, (come back snow!) will you fill in as the other "meanest person on dlisted"? It was me and snow for a while, but she hasnt been around, and I think youre up for the job. Cool?
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
*shakes head* You must really hate yourself on the inside.
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I got Pills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power they're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
*resists responding to kaiserin*
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"In other news, a bubble gum wrapper blew across Santa Monica Blvd."-Deb
Missy - I'm with you. VERY happy my drunken stupidness isn't photographed and documented for the world to see.
She does have pretty skin though...there, I said something nice. Now I feel so dirty!
After looking at there very pale photos of Kelly,
man...bitch is TANKED
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
T-Shirt design: by 14
From the new Assley collection.
"My Heart Belongs to Daddy"
Get yours for $9.99 at Wet Beaver
M.E.. Uhm, yeah, she lost weight.. And It made me so mad when she said she was size 8-10.. Lying cunt b/c that's what size I am, and I do NOT look like this.. ( i don't think so.. lol) This chick is way bigger than me, and it made me uncomfortable to hear that from her mouthy.. lying liar!! *points finger at hole*
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I got Pills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power they're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
Boy she is reaaaaaaaaaaaaally lookin good, the white ass skin, yellow teeth, fat ass legs and the nice dike haircut looks super hot..ho!!
Haha...FATTY! Someone needs a Diet Coke and a salad with no dressing! Jesus, how do people stand to look like that? I mean, seriously. How can someone who looks like that actually look in the mirror and not want to die? How can you NOT want to starve yourself, exercise like a fiend, and throw up after every meal? That is truly one of life's great mysteries. I would rather spend every single second of my life obsessing about my weight, than look like that. How do people justify being so fat? HOW???? How do they live with themselves?
LOL, I remember reading that the majority of people asked for some survey said that they would rather have cancer and other horrible diseases than be fat. Also something like 6 out of 10 people would have an abortion if their child had a genetic tendency towards being obese. Yep, I totally understand that....I'm sure this makes me a horrible person, so don't bother to tell me so. I already know, and I'm OK with that. LOL at least I don't look like I just ate 3 people :)
taking "white as a sheet" to a whole
new level.
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"You're no messiah. You're not even a movie
of the week. You're a fucking tshirt!"
"That's why bars have bathrooms! You lock yourself in a stall and take a little nap"
LMAO MK!!! been there DONE that!
For real. One time went out with my BFF and we got so trashed, especially me, I couldn't even stand straight. I went in the bathroom and locked myself in a stall, yup, took a nap, I was passed to fuck out! People kept knocking on the stall door I kept yelling leave me alone! Fuck you! LOL
(im usually a nice drunk)
My friend kept coming in and out of the bathroom telling me how fun the party was out there. By them time I felt better, the party was ovah. Those were the days
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
T-Shirt design: by 14
From the new Assley collection.
"My Heart Belongs to Daddy"
Get yours for $9.99 at Wet Beaver
To' up from the flo' up. Dayum.
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There are three types of people in this world.
Those who can count, and those who can't.
Submitted by mike on May 7, 2008 - 11:11am.
Isn't that the marshmallow monster from one of the Ghostbusters movies?
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StaPuft Marshmallow Man
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I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something.
Submitted by zomay on May 7, 2008 - 1:14pm.
Look if you are planning on drinking a gallon of Vodka and a dozen shots of whatever you preferred poison is, than you really need to think about wearing pants.
**
zomay, where were you on saturday evening
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
M.E.. I agree.. Getting the cab is a very smart thing, And safe for her and us, too.. *cheers* Oh wait, I hope she doesn't think that means drink time.. I mean, *yay*
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I got Pills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power they're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
Look if you are planning on drinking a gallon of Vodka and a dozen shots of whatever you preferred poison is, than you really need to think about wearing pants.
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Maybe it's just me but I've always though of gold lame accessories as being more appropriate on some chain smokin' old lady sitting at a slot machine in Reno, NV for 12 hours a day.
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I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something.
ROFLMAO I've had to hold up a few buildings in my day too.
~~Sometimes common sense isn't common enough~~
excuse my beauty mike!! actually we're both wrong. It's the love child of Rumer Willis and the Michelin Man.
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"In other news, a bubble gum wrapper blew across Santa Monica Blvd."-Deb
I am SOOOOOOOO glad I dont have people snapping my picture when Im out. Lets see, this weekend, blood stained clothes from falling on face? skirt split halfay up my ass with a thong underneath? check and check. Cant imagine having people following me around documenting that shit.
_____________________________________________
"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Poppus on May 7, 2008 - 11:09am.
Man, those thigh shots are brutal.
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LMFAO, thank you the second best laugh of my day. God that was funny.
Wow, that main shot comes dangerously close to ushering us into that strange and often macabre place that is the space between Kelly Osbourne's legs...
DANGEROUSLY close
www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore
She (both her skin color and outfit) looks like the colors you would paint a baby's bedroom.
And on the bright side for her as a woman stumbling home drunk at night, at least she has about 20 escorts in the paparazzi. (Although their main goal is photographing her bits, which probably isn't very comforting).
Didn't this bitch just supposedly lose a bunch of weight and was like a size 8 or whatever?
Or did I imagine that?
Isn't that the marshmallow monster from one of the Ghostbusters movies?
ATTACK OF THE LIVING MARSHMALLOWS
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"In other news, a bubble gum wrapper blew across Santa Monica Blvd."-Deb