This Bitch Is Hot

If Robert Buckley wanted me to eat the jam from his toes, I would grab a box of Ritz crackers, a cheese knife and I would go to town. A dude with a body like that could only mean one thing....pencil peen! There has to be something physically wrong with me. That's ok, I can put quadruple up on condoms. It will add girth.

You may know Robert from "Lipstick Jungle," but I know this whore from that diarrhea show called "Fashion House." My TV hasn't fully recovered from me licking the screen every time he came on. Seriously, have you ever licked a TV screen? It shocks a little bit. I kind of like it.

Anyway, Robert is currently shooting "Flirting with 40" in Hawaii with Heather Locklear. Here's the walking fuck machine talking to Heather and Jack Wagner on set today. Even Jack wants to lick that shit.