STFU Ashton!

This is the problem with Ashton Kutcher. This dumb bitch is kind of hot until he opens up his hole. Ashton wrote a column for Harper's Bazaar on his biggest turn-offs. And because you're dying to know, here they are:

Excessive perfume use: “If I can smell your perfume and we’re not making out, you’re wearing too much. More of a lot of things in life is better. Perfume does not apply.”

Big diamonds: “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money. I don’t want my woman looking like she got bedazzled.”

Pantsuits: “I like seeing a female body as much as the next guy, but a midriff on display does not do it for me. By the same token, sexlessness is just that. I call it the Hillary Clinton Look. She would be so much more appealing if she just took off the pantsuit, took a lesson from Jackie Kennedy, and found her own Oleg Cassini.”

The perfume thing I get. The diamond thing, ok. The pantsuit thing?! What the hell is she supposed to wear? A fucking bikini?

And here's 3 of my biggest turn-offs when it comes to Ashton Kutcher:

1. When he opens his fat mouth
2. When he opens his fat mouth
3. When he open his fat mouth

He really should just stand there and look pretty.