He wants you to look at him. He's begging you!

Marc Jacobs looks like he ransacked Kelly Osbourne's make-up bag for his spread in Interview Magazine. Actually, he looks more like Ronald McDonald's cross-dressing brother. Rory McDonald. You know, the one we're not supposed to talk about. I think the McRib was inspired by him. I could be wrong.

Visit BryanBoy to see more pics from Marc Jacob's Interview shoot.

It's sloooow today, so here's some very blurry Angelina Jolie nipple action. Yeah, try not to drool on your computer. The photos were taken while Angie Jo was changing her shirt on the terrace of her villa in France. That villa is fucking ridiculous. It's almost as nice as my Barbie dream house, ALMOST. Yes, I had a Barbie dream house growing up. Didn't every young homo?

Here's also some pictures of Brad with Shiloh.

In case you missed it, here's Mike "forever fat on the inside" Huckabee trying to be a comedian while speaking to the NRA yesterday. While Huckabee was giving his speech, there was a noise offstage. He quickly joked that Barack Obama fell off his chair. Everyone kind of laughed, so the dumb fuck decided he should continue the joke. He added, "Somebody aimed a gun at him and he dove for the floor." Nobody laughed.

That stupid fuck should really quit his job as America's Number 1 dickwad and take his comedy act on the road. The KKK Comedy tour!

Huckabee later apologized by saying, "During my speech at the NRA, a loud noise backstage that sounded like a chair falling distracted the crowd and interrupted my speech. I made an offhand remark that was in no way intended to offend or disparage Sen. Obama. I apologize that my comments were offensive. That was never my intention."

Basically, he's saying he's a dumb fuck and can't help it.

Somebody give Woody Allen a jar of Gerber's tropical dessert baby food. He looks like he needs one. I just discovered that shit and it's delicious. I'm tempted to mix it with a shot of vodka for an extra kick!

Woody is currently in Cannes promoting his 1,245,678th movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, with Penny Cruz. Penny is so fucking gorgeous. No wonder Salma Hayek ALLEGEDLY went lesbian for her. I'd even go lesbo for her. Salma is probably only shacking up with that rich dude, so that she can take all his money and run away with Penny. They want to buy the Isle of Lesbos and change its name to the Isle of Gayelle.

Harrison Ford just needs some Cialis, Ben-Gay, a warm compress and he's ready for a hot sexay night of passion. Well, the fun and games have to end around 10pm, because pepaws like to get up at the break of dawn.

Here's 66-year-old Harry with Calista Flockhart in Cannes.

Yesterday, I posted some pictures of Nikki Cox and her fish lips from hell. I think Amanda Lepore was her inspiration. Mandy's lips have enough crap in them to keep Tupperware in business for decades. Shit, we should recycle her hot ass. All our problems will be solved. Naw, let's not recycle her. The world needs this kind of glamour and beauty. While all of us get wrinkly and saggy, Mandy will still look like this.

Here's Mandy looking like a sexy, plastic Dixie cup at the Life Ball in Vienna.

Brit Brit spokesbitch has already denied she's knocked up. Her friend blamed it on water-retention. I blame it on beef jerky, butter burgers, cheese fries, frapp pops, dolls and Cheeto chicken casserole. Seriously, there's a recipe for Cheeto chicken casserole. I'm going to try to make that crap this weekend. It will probably make my asshole explode, but what's new?

Brit Brit is currently living it up on Mel Gibson's estate in Costa Rica with Daddy Spears. Where the hell is Mel in these pictures? He's probably in his bedroom, watching the tapes from the hidden camera he put in Brit's room. He's not going to find anything major. He's just going to see Brit eating, picking her butt, re-enacting scenes from "Chicken Little" and applying Crisco to her weave.

The Meryl Streep of infomercials! - I don't know her name, but she's in several amazing infomercials. In the clip above, she's the woman who can't find her car. In the clip below, she's the woman who can't put on her necklace. She deserves an honorary Oscar, Emmy and Grammy!

For Greg

Trent Reznor (43)
Leven Rambin (18)
Tahj Mowry (20)
Nikki Reed (20)
Derek Hough (23)
Andrea Corr (33)
Jordan Knight (38)
Thom Filicia (39)
Cameron Bancroft (41)
Craig Ferguson (46)
Enya (47)
Sugar Ray Leonard (52)
Bob Saget (52)
Bill Paxton (53)
Dennis Hopper (72)

Brit Brit has been looking like she's carrying a baba je'e in her belly, but her rep claims she's not. Wait, she still has a rep? So that's what London has been up to! London is working as Brit's spokesbitch. It's a good thing The Sun has a dog translator on staff. London said, “I want to make completely clear that Britney is not pregnant. There’s not going to be a statement – she’s just not.”

A friend also told The Sun, “It’s a mix of water retention, unflattering clothes and people liking to analyze everything she does. Britney’s getting herself together slowly but surely and isn’t going to mess that up. She’s far too busy to even be thinking about a baby right now.”

Water retention? Like that bitch drinks water. Kool-Aid retention, maybe. I figured it was pill bloat. Let's pray to the Gods above that Brit Brit isn't knocked up. The world is not equipped for an Adnan/Brit Brit love child. I'm assuming the baby daddy would be Adnan, but it could be anyone. It could be Adnan, Mel Gibson, Doogie Howser, Sam Lutfi, Chester Cheetah or......London. London! How could you? Why did you give Britney the lipstick?! Why!?

Image: Fame Pictures