The Smallest Baby Ever

Nicole Kidman is 5 or 6 months knocked up and I have a bigger belly than she does and I'm not even pregnant.....or am I? SHIT! I better run to Duane Reade, buy an EPT and stick it up my ass. Yes, I know you're supposed to piss on it, but I heard you get faster results if you stick it up your culo. A doctor told me this or was it a crackhead? Same thing!

Botox mommy came out of her bat cave last night to support Keith Urban at the CMT Music Awards last night. Their baby is going to be the size of a kidney stone! I wish I was the size of a kidney stone. Then I could crawl through key holes and sleep in lettuce cups. Seriously!

Here's more of Bronzer and Baby Powder at the CMTs last night.