The Bachelor: But We Never Knew Her!

Spoilers!

Where the hell has Kelly aka low-rent Cameron Diaz (and that's really low-rent) been hiding?! She was probably hiding in the booze cabinet. Seriously, I could have really loved her. Last night, Bachelor Matt started talking to Kelly about how she seems more interested in partying with the other girls than being with him and all of a sudden she opens up her top and starts showing her breasts. She did it for like no reason! DRUNK. Why didn't she show this behavior on day one! This is what the audience wants to see. Unfortunately, boring Matt didn't feel my excitement for her boobs on display, so he bounced her. Boo.

He also let go of Leelee Sobieski aka 22-year-old Ashlee. During her exit monologue, Ashlee sang a honky tonk lullaby to Matt about her broken heart. She sounded a rusty cabinet in dire need of some oil. No wonder he got rid of her ass! The bitch was burning up his ear drums. Clip below...