No Clink Time For Mischa

Mischa Barton will escape doing time in the lady clink by accepting a plea in her DUI case. People reports that she will plead no contest at her DUI arraignment this Thursday. In exchange, the weed possession charge has been dropped and the driving without a license charge has been reduced to an infraction.

Mischa will pay a fine of $1,700, complete a three-month alcohol-education class and serve 3 years of unsupervised probation.

Weed possession, drunk driving and driving without a license? If this happened to you or me, we would be cooking our breakfast on a jail radiator right now while massaging our raw assholes with cocoa butter.

A alcohol-education class sounds fun. Do they teach you how to make delicious cocktails like Singapore Slings and Rum Swizzles? I need some alcohol education. I'll even stay up for the class and take detailed notes during the "the fastest way to get wasted" lecture.