Private detective, Anthony Pellicano, is currently facing charges for unlawful wiretapping and racketeering. The Huffington Post got a hold of a 31-minute conversation between Anthony and his client Chris Rock in 2001. The call is about a woman named Monica Zsibrita. Monica claimed Chris Rock raped her and was the father of her baby. Rape charges were never filed and it was proven that Chris was not her baby daddy. Chris admitted to taking Monica to a few events and sleeping with her while he was separated from his wife. In the recording Anthony said he's gotten a hold of the police report (something he shouldn't have) and reads from it to Chris.
HuffPo has the entire 31-minute conversation if you want to listen to it, but here are some highlights. I love it when Chris talks dirty to me:
Rock: "I know the night we went to the Ivy she had on white pants. I only noticed cause my wife's real classy and subdued and I'm out with a girl with big tits and white pants. It's just, I know people were like, 'heeey'."
Pellicano (reading from report): "He tried to pull out and ejaculated on her thighs. She immediately got up and went to the bathroom where she cleaned up with a Kleenex. She put the Kleenex in her pocket."
Rock: I've been so set up...
Pellicano: Did you come on her thighs?...
Rock: I had a rubber on. I probably took it off right when I was getting ready to come. I probably came on her ass.
Pellicano: We're going to get her one way or the other... Does your old lady know what's going on?
Rock: No. She thinks it's over, put it that way. She knows of it.
Rock: Rape is just fucking, buzz, you know?... Once your accused of rape, you're just FUCKED, you know?
Pellicano: That's why i want to blacken this girl up, totally. I want to make her out to be a lying, scumbag, manipulative cocksucker... Stupid bitch
Rock: I'm fucked. I'm better getting caught with needles in my arm. WAY better. Needles, with pictures, there's Chris Rock shooting heroin. Much better blow to the career.
Pellicano is a fucking gem. The best part of the tape is when he starts screaming at his secretary. I picture her with teased out hair, candy pink lip gloss and sea green eyeshadow. Basically, she's hot.
While skimming through this phone call I was waiting for Anthony to say, "So you want me to....um...you know....make her pull a Houdini?" That's easy to do. Just put her in the sequel to "Pootie Tang."
I think I need some Purell for my ears.