Troll Porn

Hugh Hefner needs to retire already if this little rumor is true. Hef reportedly wants Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen to show off their no-tits and no-ass in Playboy. He asked them 3 years ago, but they turned it down. He has once again invited them to pose for the magazine just in time for their 22nd Birthday.

A source said, “Hugh thinks the twins are every young man’s fantasy. But it might not be that easy getting them agree to pose for Playboy. They’re all about high-end fashion these days. They want to do Vogue.”

If the Olsen twins are your fantasy, you need to have a little conversation with Chris Hansen and Dateline. I know they are of legal age, but you know they have the bodies of 8-year-old boys. 8-year-old troll boys! At least Playboy would save money in waxing costs, because those girls are probably as smooth as the day they were born. GROSS. I need to stop imaging these two naked. It's illegal.