A Singular Messiah

Angelina Jolie is planning to have her baby in France to honor her mother reports The Sun. It's also being reported that she's not having twins, but only having one girl. A source said, “Angelina has been told she is expecting a girl. She’s thrilled.”

Not having twins? That gives all the Brangaloonies plenty of time to return the second set of baby gifts they bought. It also gives them time to take down their second and matching baby shrine.

I know she's still a few months away, but it's never too soon to think of baby names. If she wants to honor her French roots, I'm thinking Baguette, Jean Nate or Penelope (after Pepe LaPew's love interest).

In related news, Jennifer Aniston hasn't had sex in six months! Don't you love how the media keeps making her look like a frigid prude who is always living in the shadow of Angelina? What am I saying? She is a frigid prude living in the shadow of Angelina!