What The......?

What the? Oh hell no! Josh Brolin better get off my man! This is rape and it's not funny. Javier Bardem's laugh may be saying "yes," but his genitals are clearly saying no! At least turn that poor Oscar around. It shouldn't have to witness this.

Diane Lane, please come take care of your husband! Give him a hand job, so he will stay away from my property! Yes, he's my property. Check his ass, it says "I Belong to MK" on it. Actually, don't check his ass, because then I will get jealous, cut you and end up in jail.

Here's Javier with a fug attacking him at Miramax's Oscar party last night.