Open Letter to Britney Spears

Happy 25th Birthday and KEEP YOUR COOCHIE COVERED TONIGHT!

Britney and Parasite Hilton will no doubt be out and about tonight to celebrate 25 years of tired vagina. No word yet on where they will land or with whom. You can bet that Nachos and Fat Elvis will be around. It has been rumored that Britney and her boyfriend Paris will stage a mock wedding at her birthday party.

A source said, "They have been inseparable since Brit's split. So their chums have started calling Paris her new husband. Paris has even been playing daddy with Britney's kids. The birthday bash is a celebration of their new friendship and Brit's impending divorce. They share everything."

Well, Paris most likely has a bigger dick than her last husband and her jizz is probably chunkier.

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