Lots Of Trying

Holly Madison talked about the rumors that she's knocked up at Playboy's Super Bowl party in Arizona on Saturday. Holly told UsWeekly, "There has been lots of trying — lots of trying!" I hope the trying involves Hef dropping it in a cup and Holly doing it with a turkey baster, because "lots of trying" could kill the man. Hef added, "There will certainly be a lot of romantic years ahead, but a wedding we will see."

Holly then said that she wanted a "baby" for Valentine's Day. No, what she really wants is to win the lottery and having a Hefner baby will do that for her.

Having sex with pepaws is a tricky and unsexy situation. I just hope Hef takes off his dentures before any sexy times. Dentures stuck in the coochie is not right and should be illegal.

True story here. One time I was doing wet things with someone (under the age of 35) who dropped his fake teeth during. I never laughed so hard before in my life. It killed the mood and ended the moment, but I was happy because I was able to fart and laugh at the same time. I was never able to do that before! What a proud moment.