One Grouchy Dyke

Clay Gayken had a little interview with Newsweek about making his Broadway debut in Spermalot...I mean Spamalaot and things quickly turned sour. The interview started normal, but when the interviewer started asking about his public fueds Gayken wasn't having it.

How did you get into a fight with that lady on a plane?
I'm not going to talk about it.

I was just curious because you've never talked about it.
I did talk about it.

What about the Kelly Ripa thing?
I'm not going to discuss it.

Did you think it was homophobic?
I'm not going to discuss it.

What do you want to talk about?
I think we're done.

Can we talk about something fun?
No, we're done. I thought NEWSWEEK would be more reputable. I'm surprised.

But I think people are curious about it.
It was a year ago. This is NEWSWEEK. It's not the National Enquirer. I'd hate to have a job where I had to be rude to people.

We're just having a conversation.
Change the subject! I'd never take a job where I had to do something that I didn't want to do.

What about all those Ford commercials on "American Idol"?
That wasn't a job.

It was part of your job.
It wasn't a Ford commercial. It was a music video. It was a completely different thing.

I'll change the subject. What do you do for fun?
I watch the news. I read news magazines, but I'm reconsidering that now.

Are you going to watch "Idol"?
I haven't watched since season four. I compare it to high-school football--if it weren't for high school, we wouldn't be successful, but I don't need to keep going to the football games.

Damn! Give that gay a dick! He needs to loosen up. He should've just turned up the queen and told the interviewer "to get fucked and get lost." You know that interviewer is getting death threats from the Claymates. They've probably already kidnapped his family until he issues Gayken an apology. They are hardcore.