I'd Hit It | Dlisted

Everyone is at the damn beach. No wonder it's been a shitty ass news day. People are either at the beach or making sure they are in good medical condition for the drinking fest known as New Year's. Simon Cowell is no exception. He's in Barbados with his girl, Teri Seymour. I can't stand Terri on "Extra" or whatever the hell show she's on and she looks like a cricket in a bikini.

Simon is also on vacay with that rich British bitch Philip Green. Yes his gut covers his dick, but I'd definitely get with that. He probably cums money! It would be like playing the slots in Las Vegas. If you fiddle with the stick enough, money will come pouring out.