Why is the media obsessed with this whole Madonna buying a baby thing?! I mean can't a homegirl buy an African baby in peace?! Jesus! Well, the latest story to hit the papers attacks David Banda's father. Here's the headline in the Daily Mail:

Madonna baby's father dumped him to run off with a new woman

Who cares?! Anyway, the article goes on to say that David's father wanted to be with some chick in another village so he dumped his son in an orphanage to be with his new woman. Ugh. Madonna isn't helping things by talking about it, STILL. She said that David's father hardly visited him.

"If someone had said to me, "His dad comes every week or his granny visits on a regular basis and he's well looked after," I would not even have given it another thought."

She wonders why people are still talking about it? Maybe, because she is. She should honestly just stop talking and it will go away. I'm over it.

Tyra Banks dressed as a fugly dude for the Halloween edition of her lame-ass talk show. She joined Chingy in performance. The two have been romantically linked and no doubt that they went home in costume and she did him in the ass. On the honest, she makes a totally passable dude. I'd hit it.

The sign on the ATM should read, “Please do not deposit envelopes, money or ANYTHING with folds into this machine.” - Whisper Runner-up:

Lurleen was so poor, she had to go to the ATM to get a nekkid video took of herself. - Lurleen

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This little diddy is presented to you by Ali Lohan, sister of Blohan. I guess she put out some kind of Christmas album which is in stores now. The piece of awful music I'm providing you with is called "Lohan Holiday" and is sung by Ali with background vocals by Blohan. I'm not sure what a Lohan holiday is, but I'm sure it involves doing lines off of each other's firecrotches while crying about how their lives are a complete waste. Then they totally crank call Paris Hilton while smoking crack from broken light bulbs. Ahhh...I love the holidays!

Thx Nick

Earlier I wrote about how Patrick Dempsey's first wife, Rochelle, once claimed he beat her ass. Many of you asked what Patrick Dempsey's the hell she looked like and here she is! This is when he was 21 and she was like 80. Love the Kirk Cameron hair.

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Blohan decided to pay homage to her dear mother, White Oprah, by dressing as her for Halloween. She's missing the mouth that won't stop yapping and the fake, white hair. Besides that she's got it down.

On the honesty, what the hell kind of Halloween costume is this?! Halloween does not give girls a reason to dress like a lady of the night. Be different for once and actually cover your shit up. I can totally see her firecrotch.

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Chris Klein as a slice of idiot or Rose McGowan a Retardtini

Neil Patrick Harris aka Doogie Howser MD is fighting gay rumors after a story was published about him and an alleged boyfriend. This is what was said in the article:

"Nepotism is alive and well in Hollywood. Former Doogie Howser star Neil Patrick Harris, 33, recently got his longtime sweetheart David Burtka, 31, a guest role on his series How I Met Your Mother (airing Wednesday nights on CH). Burtka is an experienced theatre actor (he played opposite Bernadette Peters in Gypsy on Broadway and starred in the touring company of Beauty and the Beast) but also had small parts on episodes of The West Wing and Crossing Jordan."

This is what Doogie's spokeswhore said, "He's not of that persuasion." Is his spokeswhore a 70-year-old English librarian?! Who the hell says "persuasion?" Anyway, he's totally a fag and I know this for a fact. Ok, I don't but he is one...right?!

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