Papa Joe Ruins Christmas

 

Papa Joe ruins everything! Star Magazine reports that Joe has straight-up banned Pete Wentz from Christmas at the Simpsons house this year. Apparently, Joe doesn't like the fact that Pete has kissed other dudes on the mouth. Joe is a former Baptist preacher. You know what that means.

 

A source told Star, “Joe was skeptical about the relationship from the start. There is a rumour that Pete tried to commit suicide, but with the news of his possible bisexuality, Joe blew his top.”

 

More like blew his load. You know Papa Joe swings that way too. He's just afraid that with Pete around for Christmas he's going to be tempted to play a game of "Santa goes down the chimney." His dream come true is a Pete and Ash threesome. 

 

Ashlee apparently was upset, but agrees with her daddy's morals. That's right Ash! You better listen to daddy or he will blow the lid on your lip-synching. Oh, too late. On your nose job! Oh, too late too.