Zzzzzzzzzzzz

The devil has once again brought the sloooooowwwweeeeest news day ever! I'm about to start writing about turtles and cats. What's stopped me in the past, right?

This is why I bring you Kelly Osbourne on some British chat show trying to beat the world's record for eating jelly with chopsticks. By the looks of these pictures she didn't do it.

Amateur. All I would need is some sugar and I'd make that shit go down so fast. Sugar should go on everything: Cokie-Cola, white bread, jizz....whatever!