Tom Cruise Will Kill Armistead Maupin

 

Armistead Maupin is the author of the extremely homo books "Tales of the City" and according to Holy Moly! gave his theory on closeted gay actors in Hollywood at a book signing in London.

 

Armi said:

 

"...of course the Church of Scientology comes in very handy. (huge laugh from audience) It's the biggest ex gay movement in America. They catch you when you're young and confused, tell you they'll look after you, even provide you with a wife and child... Then of course you have to do what they call an audit, where you confess everything you've ever done into a tape recorder, so they've got the tapes. So once you're famous and successful you have to go along with all their nonsense about people falling into volcanoes... (pause)... then you play a woman in a movie musical, a part created by a drag queen and written by a gay man..."

 

You know Johnny and Tommy have sent their alien minions after Armi. I won't be surprised if next week Armi is married to a pregnant woman and writing books about aliens.